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Monday, May 9, 2011

Cheney, Rumsfeld, other Bush officials claim credit for nabbing Bin Laden, talk up waterboarding
 

A parade of former Bush administration officials went on the Sunday political shows to talk up waterboarding and claim a measure of credit for bagging Osama Bin Laden.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said waterboarding - which the Obama administration nixed as torture - "probably" played a role in tracking down Bin Laden and should be brought back.

Once a Dick always a dick. Some things never change.

"Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by seals." –Jay Leno

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You've gone 70 years without a heart, why have one installed now?

 Former Vice President Dick Cheney says he hasn't decided whether to seek a heart transplant.

Cheney tells "Fox News Sunday" that his health has improved since last year, when he was diagnosed with end-stage heart failure. He had an operation last summer to fit his body with a battery-powered device that helps his heart pump blood.

6 wackiest bin Laden conspiracy theories

"The White House is releasing more information on the details of that attack on Osama bin Laden. They said the helicopters were able to fly in undetected because it was 1:00 a.m. and the Pakistan air traffic controller was sound asleep." –Jay Leno

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"The White House says there’s no chance they’ll release the death photos. Unless Obama starts to slip in the polls." –Jay Leno

Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico defeating the French. Isn't that like beating Sarah Palin on 'Jeopardy'?" –Jay Leno

Enough Already!

Nearly two-thirds of Americans agree with President Barack Obama's decision not to release graphic photos of the dead al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, according to an NBC poll to be released on Monday.

"Jacob and Isabella are the most popular baby names in the U.S. The least popular baby name: Donald Sheen bin Laden." –Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump is comparing his resistance to same-sex marriage to his refusal to use a new kind of putter. I think gay people and straight people use the same putters. It’s really a matter of hole selection." –Jon Stewart

Double Whammy: Newt Gingrich Announces Run For President and Plugs Fox News

Newt Gingrich is running for president.

The former House speaker disclosed his bid on Twitter and Facebook on Monday and urged followers to tune into Fox News on Wednesday.
 

"I don't like this new Obama who hunts Muslim extremists. I like the old Obama who WAS a Muslim extremist." –Stephen Colbert

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