|
Friday edition - May 13, 2011
Newt Gingrich announced that he’s running for president on Twitter and Facebook. I think his concession speech will be on YouTube. - David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Osama
President Obama’s approval rating is the highest in two years. Experts say that at this rate, Obama can count on re-election if he just kills bin Laden two more times. - Conan
Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
Republican Shenanigans
"Osama Bin Laden's supporters want to rename the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped Martyr Sea. Really? Martyr Sea? Hiding in your bedroom for six years? How about Chicken of the Sea?" -Jay Leno
What Do Bush, A Soufflé And Osama bin Laden Have In Common?
Former President George W. Bush was “not overjoyed” to learn of Osama bin Laden’s death, he said earlier this week as he recounted the call from President Barack Obama he received as he was eating a soufflé at a Dallas restaurant.
The Man Who Wants But Will Never Be President
Rick Santorum alerted Sen. John Ensign in 2009 that
the husband of Ensign's mistress wanted to go public with the affair that
ultimately ended the Nevada Republican's Senate career, according to a Senate
ethics committee report released Thursday.
"Bristol Palin just announced she had corrective
surgery on her mouth. It's being called the right procedure on the wrong Palin."
–Conan O'Brien
Rock-The-Voter News
"I don't know if you've ever tasted Godfather's
Pizza, but if he can keep that place from going bankrupt, he is an economic
genius." –Stephen Colbert on GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain
Dog and Pony Show Holds A Dog And Pony Show
The hearing was for verbally flogging oil
company CEOs, and no senator bothered to pretend it was about making gasoline
prices more affordable or helping the economy recover. Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch set
the tone Thursday when he opened with a
portrait of a dog sitting on a pony.
A TSA screener in Kansas City is facing criticism
for giving a pat-down to an 8-month-old baby. You don’t pat down a baby! You
stick him in a tray and run him through the X-ray machine. - Jimmy Fallon
You Won The Lottery! Oh, Wait, No, You Didn't!
A computer glitch corrupted the State Department's annual worldwide lottery for U.S. immigrant visas and the results will be scratched, the Obama administration said Friday, disappointing tens of thousands of would-be immigrants who were notified this year that they had won a chance to come and live legally in the United States.
$15.99
"Bristol Palin said she had corrective surgery to
fix her jaw, not cosmetic surgery. She must have gone to the same surgeon who
corrected Victoria Beckham's breasts." –Jimmy Kimmel Business News
CBS has offered Charlie Sheen’s role on “Two and
a Half Men” to Hugh Grant. I wonder what the thought process was there: “Where
can we find another actor who has been busted with hookers?” - Jimmy Kimmel
Donations Gleefully Accepted
Thank you Mike and Larry!
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Email me lisa@allhatnocattle.net
Odd News
Coincidence? I think not.
Wishes to all for a peaceful weekend. |
