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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Thursday edition, May 12, 2011


 Graphic by Tj


 China rights crackdown a 'fool's errand': Clinton
WASHINGTON (AFP) - US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton denounced China's clampdown on dissent as a "fool's errand," saying Beijing was trying to stop the course of history.


 Own your own Obama Navy SEAL action figure

That's right--custom doll company HeroBuilders announced Wednesday that "Rambamba," its "OBAMA SEAL TEAM 6 ACTION FIGURE," can now be yours for just $34.95. "Obama does it and we are proud of seal team 6," the company's website read Wednesday.

Oil CEOs head to Hill for grilling by Senate Dems

 Senate Democrats are calling top executives from the five biggest oil companies before a congressional hearing to flog them verbally for high gasoline prices, big profits and generous tax breaks that Democrats would like to end but don't have the votes to stop.  


Condi Rice must be sooooo jealous of Clinton. And I don't mean of her fashion sense.



"Have you seen the video of Osama bin Laden? He was wearing a Snuggie, drinking a Coke and flipping through the channels on TV. I thought he hated the American lifestyle. He was LIVING the American lifestyle." –Jay Leno



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Osama


Keith Olbermann Update


Keith Olbermann's forthcoming prime time show on Current TV is starting to take shape, ahead of its June 20 premiere.




 "Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won 'Apprentice.' Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands." –Conan O'Brien



Subject: Christiane Amanpour’s appearance on Bill Maher’s show back in 2008


Hi Lisa …

Your followers are delighted that AHNC is back on-line.

I was interested in the link to Christiane Amanpour’s appearance on Bill Maher’s show back in 2008. On bin Laden’s whereabouts, I came to the same conclusion she did but in a much simpler way.

George W. Bush said he thought that bin Laden was probably a marginalized figure holed up in isolation in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan. I reasoned that since George W. Bush was never right about ANYTHING, a cave in Afghanistan is precisely where we would NOT find him.

As it turned out, bin Laden was not marginalized, he was very much at the center of al Qaeda’s operations. He was not holed up in isolation; he lived with his wives and some kids in a small city. He was not in a cave; he was in a large villa. And “Chez Osama” was not it Afghanistan, it was in Pakistan.

Bush was wrong on every count. But then he was always wrong. About everything. Heck, he probably wouldn’t even like AHNC, which proves how wrong he is. :)

Hang in there,



Thank you so much for writing.


I always thought that bin Laden was holed up in the Bahamas sipping Pina Coladas, while George Bush always acted like he was in the Bahamas sipping Pina Coladas.



 Tea Party Patriots



 NY-26 candidate Davis ‘hits’ a Republican volunteer



Sarah Palin is getting a lot of support from low-income Republicans. You know, like Todd Palin." –Jimmy Fallon




The White House on Thursday is expected to unveil its proposal to enhance the nation's cybersecurity, laying out plans to require industry to better protect systems that run critical infrastructure like the electrical grid, financial systems and nuclear power plants



Republican-Shenanigans News


Black Person Allowed To Read Poem At White House Despite Everything - Wonkette



"Why are we listening to the Bush administration people [trying to take credit]? They didn’t get bin Laden. They’re like the Winklevoss twins of killing Osama." –Jon Stewart





Levi Johnston's Palin Tell-All Book Gets A Cover


Levi looks like a deer in the headlights who just got goosed.


Rock-The-Voter News



"Newt Gingrich is Glenn Beck with better syntax." - David Corn





Biz-Tech News



"The royal couple is finally heading to their honeymoon for two weeks of living in pampered luxury, followed by a lifetime of . . . the same." –Craig Ferguson


The safest delivery driver at UPS recently logged 4 million miles without an accident. He’s being awarded UPS’s highest honor: long pants. - Jimmy Fallon


 Today in History


  • In 1780, during the Revolutionary War, the besieged city of Charleston, S.C., surrendered to British forces.

  • In 1958, the United States and Canada signed an agreement to create the North American Air Defense Command (later the North American Aerospace Defense Command, or NORAD for short).

  • One year ago: Kelly Kulick, the first woman to win a PBA Tour title when she beat the men in the Tournament of Champions, won the U.S. Women's Open for her second women's major victory in 15 days.

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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



The world's biggest kite (featuring a ray) flies during the 25th International Kite Festival in Berck-sur-Mer in northern France



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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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