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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Monday edition - July 25, 2011




John Boehner: House must act by Wednesday

A day after breathless news reports that a deal was imminent, the Ohio Republican jokingly told his conference that he had reached a sweeping agreement with President Barack Obama to slash trillions of dollars in government spending. ..“I’m just kidding,” Boehner then added, drawing a laugh from rank-and-file Republicans, according to those in the room.

News Corp's James Murdoch under pressure over hacking testimony

News Corp executive James Murdoch was under pressure on Monday over his handling of a phone-hacking scandal that has hit the Murdoch family's media

Lawmakers split as debt deadline looms, markets uneasy

A sharply divided Congress pursued rival budget plans on Monday that appeared unlikely to win broad support, pushing the United States closer to …


"Republicans are blaming President Obama for bringing the heat from his native Kenya." –Jimmy Kimmel




"Still no deal on the debt ceiling. Washington is keeping us on the edge of our seat – a seat that will soon be repossessed." –Craig Ferguson



"In 1969 we put a man on the moon. Today the best we can do is x-ray Kim Kardashian's ass. And someday we'll celebrate the 40th anniversary of that." –David Letterman

Republican Shenanigans


Nukes And Republicans In The Same Sentence Make Me Nervous


Will Republicans, during these debt-ceiling negotiations, do the unthinkable and support cutting defense spending to avoid raising taxes on the uber-wealthy? The answer is yes, as it should be, and there is an answer to their angst.

The answer is that we should dramatically reduce the nuclear weapons budget. Doing so will do no harm to our national defense.

But don't take my word for it. Take Senator Tom Coburn's (R-Okla.). His proposal this week to lop off $9 trillion from the national debt over the next decade would halve the total number of nuclear warheads in our combined active and reserve stockpiles from about 5,000 to nearly 2,500.



"I gotta say, of all my issues with Michele Bachmann's brain, migraines are not even in the top 20." –Jon Stewart

Rock-The-Voter News




"More bad news for former Senator John Edwards – an audit of his campaign finances shows he now owes the federal government $2.3 million. Apparently he spent money on everything except condoms." –Jay Leno



Wedding fever hit New York on Sunday, as hundreds of gay and lesbian couples lined up to be married on the first day that same-sex marriage was legal in the state.




Business News







"House Speaker John Boehner invited new congressmen over for pizza last night. Unfortunately, the delivery guy left when they spent 10 hours fighting over a plan to pay for it." –Jimmy Fallon


Update on the Condition Of All Hat No Cattle


NO DONATIONS ACCEPTED TODAY but I am asking for something else.


Good vibrations.

Hell, I've tried everything else to stop this onslaught of bad luck over the past few years.


A wonderful longtime online friend said to me in jest the other day that I should go to Haiti and get this curse removed from a Voodoo priest. Well, that got me to thinking, not that I believe in Voodoo but I do believe in the power of positive thought.


Although, I will gladly accept any religious removal attempt of this evil that has surrounded me.






No slaughtering of animals, please.


Odd News



Devils Tower in Wyoming captured with a stunning view of the Milky Way. Photo: Eric Hines Photography/Flickr




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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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