Wednesday edition - May 18, 2011
With all the infidelity in politics these days we should just make it a prerequisite to be a whore dog to hold political office. If we had done that years ago, just think of the millions we would have saved not having to impeach President Clinton for not having sex with that woman.
"In a
new interview, President Obama said that killing Osama bin Laden does not secure
his 2012 re-election. Yeah, that's been taken care of by the current field of
Republicans." –Jimmy Fallon
Newt Gingrich Issues ‘The Contract on Himself’
Gay rights protester dumps glitter on Newt Gingrich
"Feel the rainbow, Newt," the protestor said, as he poured a box of glitter over the former speaker's head. "Stop the hate. Stop anti-gay politics. It's dividing our country, and it's not fixing our economy."
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Osama
The Hummer: Soothing The Son of the Governator
The hunky son of Maria
Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t seem as surprised as the rest of us
that his parents are separating after 25 years of marriage.
"Donald
Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's
supporters — all of whom are late night comedians." –Conan O'Brien
Republican Shenanigans
More Comedic Fodder! yaya!
Michele Bachmann's
presidential campaign is "beyond speculation," a Republican consultant tells Fox
News' Chris Stirewalt. "They are doing this." The Minnesota congresswoman's
advisers are telling reporters that it's "very likely" she'll jump in the race
now that the lineup is starting to shake out. With evangelical favorite Mike
Huckabee dropping out, Newt Gingrich in freefall practically minutes into his
campaign, and Sarah Palin looking like she won't run,
only Rick Santorum stands between Bachmann and the social conservative vote. "Both Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump have announced they will not run for president. Huckabee's announcement opens the door for Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum, and Trump's announcement opens the door for Randy Quaid and Gary Busey." –Conan O'Brien
Newt Already Needs A Reboot
"President Obama invited a rapper to the White House on Wednesday. The
right-wing feigned outrage machine is apoplectic that the rapper Common was
invited to an evening poetry, or as they call it, black-on-black rhyme. Sarah
Palin tweeted one of her brain farts. She said, 'Inviting Common to the White
House lacked class and decency,' and that's why her children are only allowed to
make babies while listening to country music." –Bill Maher
"The
United States has hit the debt ceiling. Do you know what that means? Neither do
I. I do think it would be wise for all of us to learn to speak Chinese." –David
Letterman
Oily Mess Remains
Democrats didn’t expect to
win a vote to end subsidies to oil companies. But as Michael Tomasky explains,
the loss exposes how vulnerable they are to Republican budget psychosis.
Business News
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