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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Friday edition - July 8, 2011



Bristol Palin On 'The View': 'That's Why It's Called Losing Your Virginity ...

Bristol Palin writes in her new book of losing her virginity to boyfriend Levi Johnston on a camping trip after getting drunk for the first time on too many wine coolers. She awoke in her tent, alone, with no memories of what had happened as Johnston..


Sarah Palin on Sarah Palin: When a Politician Trademarks Your Name

Sarah Palin has trademarked her name. The former Alaskan governor turned Fox News commentator, Going Rogue author, TLC reality star and SarahPAC founder - wait, do I really have to tell you who Sarah Palin is? - submitted an application to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office that is due to be approved within the next few weeks. When it is, Palin's name will be trademarked for "educational and entertainment services" as well as "motivational speaking services in the field of politics, culture, business and values," according to her patent applications

Hack job! Murdoch axes paper to save deal

LONDON (Reuters) - In an astonishing response to a scandal engulfing his media empire, Rupert Murdoch shut down the News of the World on Thursday, Britain's biggest selling Sunday newspaper.


Sarah, Bristol and Murdoch are the epitome of Fleet Street.



Lady Gaga complained that the U.S. is allowing Iran and North Korea to get nukes and we have to stop them. Before the White House makes any decision, they’re waiting to hear from Britney Spears. - Jay Leno

Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor at


The Endless War


Weapons flowing from Iran into Iraq are becoming more lethal and sophisticated, the top U.S. military officer said Thursday as Washington and Baghdad negotiate over whether American troops will remain in the country beyond the end of the year.

He's Baaaaaaaack



A Republican-leaning fundraising group with ties to GOP strategist Karl Rove has launched a new phase of its $20 million ad campaign attacking Democrats.

Crossroads GPS is running television ads targeting five Democratic senators up for re-election in 2012. They are Bill Nelson of Florida, Claire McCaskill of Missouri, Jon Tester of Montana, Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Ben Nelson of Nebraska.

Republican Shenanigans

Just What The USA Needs: Another Texan President


Texas Gov. Rick Perry looks increasingly likely to run for president, numerous Republican party insiders said Thursday, but it is unlikely that any decision will be announced this month.




"Glenn Beck gave his last show. After Oprah and Beck, the only emotional woman on TV is me." –Craig Ferguson



Rock-The-Voter News


When someone robs a bank of thousands, they go to jail. When a bank robs a country of billions, it's called a bailout.






WikiLeaks Money


Visa said Friday it has closed a donation channel to WikiLeaks after a payment processor briefly accepted money transfers to the anti-secrecy site.

Visa and MasterCard were two of several financial and Internet service companies that severed ties to WikiLeaks following its disclosure of thousands of confidential U.S. documents. WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange claims the 7-month-long blockade has cost his online group millions.



A toddler in China fell 10 stories out of a window and was caught by a woman walking by. The kid was fine. He didn’t even miss a day of work.- Jay Leno

Business News




Joey Chestnut won the hot dog eating contest on July 4th. He ate 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes. They gave him a championship belt. A belt? Is that what you give a guy who ate 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes? How about a new pair of pants? - Jay Leno



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Odd News



In this handout picture which was taken July 1 and released on July 8, 2011, the world steepest roller coaster "Takabisha" with a free falling angle of 121 degrees is seen at Fuji-Q Highland amusement park in Fujiyoshida, west of Tokyo. According to the amusement park, the roller coaster is registered as the world steepest roller coaster in the Guinness World Records and cost about 3,000,000,000 Japanese Yen ($37, 000, 000) to build. The new attraction will be opened to public from July 16. Photo/Fujikyu Highland


I wish you all a peaceful weekend.





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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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