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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Monday edition - August 8, 2011


GOP candidates slam Obama in reaction to S&P downgrade

Investors, business leaders, and politicians reacted Friday night to news that Standard & Poor’s had downgraded the United States’ creditworthiness for the first time in its history. But first out of the gate were some GOP presidential hopefuls eager to make campaign hay out of what they see as a failure of the Obama administration.

White House adviser blames tea party for downgrade

A top White House adviser is blaming the downgrade of the U.S. credit rating on tea party Republicans, whom he says were unwilling to compromise on how to reduce the federal debt.

Religious groups object to covering birth control

They defied the bishops to support President Barack Obama's health care overhaul. Now Catholic hospitals are dismayed the law may force them to cover birth control free of charge to their employees.


The trouble is that the people of Wall Street that created this whole mess are sitting by their pools, sipping their martinis, chuckling. Not only could they keep their ill gotten loot, they're not even paying taxes on it.


"Happy birthday to President Obama, who turned 50 years old. Whether you like him or not, it's a tremendous success story. This guy was born in a hut in Kenya and grew up to be president of the United States." –David Letterman





"Obama got some lovely presents. China gave him an extension on his rent." –David Letterman


America Is Addicted! Who Knew?


China, the largest foreign holder of U.S. debt, demanded Saturday that America tighten its belt and confront its "addiction to debts" in the wake of Standard & Poor's decision to downgrade the U.S. credit rating.




Republican Shenanigans


"Fox News will host the next Republican primary debate on Aug. 11 in Iowa. Yeah, Fox News will ask some tough questions, like 'How much better are you than Obama,' 'Why is Obama such a bad president,' and 'Man, can you believe we elected that guy?" –Jimmy Fallon




FOX NEWS HEADLINE: 'Obama's Hip-Hop BBQ Didn't Create Jobs'


The private party included dinner ("BBQ chicken, ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs, pasta, salad") in the Rose Garden was attended by Obama's staff and celebrities including Al Sharpton, Jay-Z, Chris Rock, Charles Barkley, Steve Harvey, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. There were performances by Stevie Wonder, R&B singer Ledisi, jazz legend Herbie Hancock. A DJ "played Motown, hip-hop, and '70s and '80s R&B."

"The president asked everyone to dance -- and they did!"

The headline, not surprisingly, immediately sparked renewed charges of racism against the network. But Fox is standing by it


"I was watching Fox News today. I lost a bet." –David Letterman



Wasilla Gossip


Mercede Johnston, the younger sister of Levi Johnston, unloaded on the Palin family -- saying Sarah Palin would have a "mental breakdown" if she were elected president ... and that Bristol Palin "prayed to God" Levi was not her baby daddy.

Rock-The-Voter News


"The producers of 'Dancing with the Stars' haven't told Anthony Weiner whether they're going to have him on the show. And he's a guy you don't want to leave dangling." –Jay Leno







Bush Legacy: No Child Left Behind


State and local education officials have been begging the federal government for relief from student testing mandates in the federal No Child Left Behind law, but school starts soon and Congress still hasn't answered the call.

Education Secretary Arne Duncan says he will announce a new waiver system Monday to give schools a break.


"It's President Obama's birthday. I can't believe it's been 50 years since his mother forged his birth certificate." –Jimmy Kimmel



Business News


Subject: Mermaid?



Germany has strange mermaids.
Is this the first mermaid with knees?



A man in a canoe paddles around a sculpture of a mermaid at the 'Alster'
lake in Hamburg August 3, 2011. The four-meter-high sculpture made by Oliver
Voss will be in place until August 12. Photo/Morris Mac Matzen


Now, Here's a mermaid!



Thanks for All Hat and No Cattle.
Enjoy it a lot.






A mermaid with knees? I wonder what the sculpture looks like under water?




Of course, what mermaid has knees?

Thanks for the laughs.







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Odd News




US swimmer Diana Nyad puts cream on at Ernest Hemingway Nautical Club, in Havana on August 7, 2011, before swimming from Havana to Florida in a three-day non-stop journey.  PHOTO/ADALBERTO ROQUE


Peaceful water wishes for Diana Nyad.


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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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