February 3, 2001                  

                                                                            Compassionate Conservatives

 suffering from Clinton withdrawal

Senate and House leaders call for new investigations

of former president's administration

The chief meatheads of both the U.S. Senate and the House of  Representatives want to launch yet more investigations of Bill Clinton. "The missing "W"s from the _hite House keyboards haven't been located, and "W"s are of the utmost importance to the American people," remarked Senate President Trent Lott. Meanwhile, House Majority Leader Dan Burton is concentrating -- or at least trying to concentrate -- on overturning many of Clinton's pardons. Burton said the recent pardons differed from the overtly political skullduggery of former Republican presidents like Gerald Ford and George H. Bush, father of current President Select Dubya: "Papa Bush pardoned patriots from the Iran-Contra affair, and Gerry forgave that great American leader Tricky Dick Nixon. Clinton has pardoned common criminals."

By Lisa Casey  All Hat No Cattle .net