Katherine Harris has verified

the results of this contest.

Results double verified by Enron accounting department.

And the winners are:

You might be a right wing republican if....


First prize winners: 

...you'd rather screw the country than an intern.

- submitted by anonymous

...you have a borderline psychotic obsession with the fact that Bill Clinton was elected President.  Twice.  Fair and Square.  Don't you tell me to "just get over it." 

submitted by N.O.


Second Place Winners:

...while watching reruns of All In The Family, you wonder why the audience
laughs when Archie Bunker says something that "makes sense". 

submitted by  farmermacgregor@hotmail.com

...you secretly suspect that J.C. Watts is the guy who stole your hubcaps at last year's RNC fundraiser.

submitted by gziegler33@hotmail.com

...the person sitting next to you on the plane asks to be reseated in the overhead baggage compartment. 

submitted by Bill Hamm


...you think that manual labor is the President of Mexico.

submitted by - anonymous

...you think that oral sex rises to the level of an "impeachable offense," but stealing an election doesn't.

submitted by Otis Galloway

...you believe brown skin or immigration status are probable cause.

submitted by anonymous

Honorable Mention Winners:

... if you make your children listen to talk radio during target practice.

submitted by GrmpyOlBag@aol.com


...if you think it would have been unconstitutional to count the votes in Florida in 2000.

submitted by anonymous


...you think all those starving kids in Somalia should quit begging and get a job.



...you can link Clinton to every conceivable situation that developed worldwide
from 1992-2000. 

 submitted by  mrjellineck@yahoo.com


...you honestly think that Bush is great even if his policies cost you
your job, your home, your savings and the life of your child in war, but at
least he didn't get a b---j--.


…You think its fair for the poor to give up their oil subsidies so the rich
can get a tax break.



...after voting against all civil rights legislation, you wonder why minorities don't vote republican.



...you think that the right way to fix our schools is to post the Ten Commandments


...you're on medicare, need prescription drug help & still voted for the
village idiot (dumbya)

- cephil


...if you make less than $40,000/year and think the only thing standing between
you and wealth, is less government regulation, lower taxes and the end of
affirmative action.

Tim Sites


-- you think that it is necessary to wage war with "axis of evil" Iraq, a nation that has declared it has no weapons of mass destruction, but, on the other hand, insist on negotiation and diplomacy with "axis of evil" North Korea because they have openly declared they have weapons of mass destruction and WILL use them, if necessary.



...you believe that the coal, oil, and nuclear industries will police themselves if the Clean Air and Clean Water Acts are weakened.

Gary McCoy


...you think blacks have the same "voice" as whites do!   



.... your heart bleeds oil.

Kahlil at http://reachm.crimsonblog.com/

...you think Government (regulation) is bad and Corporate greed is good.
(unless it is time to bail out the corporate misfits, ie. Savings & loans,
Airline Industry, Energy industry, Auto Makers etc etc.)  


First Place Prizes:

Second Place Prizes:

Third Place Prizes:

Honorable Mention Prize:

Thanks to everyone who entered, especially that prolific anonymous person.


All winners will be notified by email.  Arrangements for delivery of prizes will be made. If you haven't received an email from us just send one to allhatnocattle@msn.com