Wednesday edition - September 3, 2008

Sarah Palin - a comedy writer's dream

“Barack Obama says he’s planning to get his daughters a dog if he’s elected president.” Most “voters asked think he should get a poodle,” proving “that Americans are not only ready for a black president, they’re also ready for a gay first dog.” - Conan O'Brien
 

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US troops mistakenly kill 6 Iraqis AP

• US has three days to respond to Iraq pact proposals: Shiite MP AFP

• Iraq expects to gross $55 bln in China oil deal guardian.co.uk 

• Defense chief Robert Gates to brief president on Iraq, Afghanistan CNN

• The US Army Hires Out iRobot To Supply Military Robots eFluxMedia 

Grateful Neighbors

When neighbors heard that Army Cpl. Christopher Levi was coming home from Iraq without his legs, Newsday says dozens of people came together to work on a $100,000 renovation of his family's house in Holbrook, N.Y.

"The Palin family crisis that we were talking about on Sunday and Monday, that has been solved now and, today, the baby is being adopted by Angelina Jolie." - David Letterman
 

Protecting the Lying Liars and Their Lies

The Justice Department refused to prosecute former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for improperly — and possibly illegally — storing in his office and home classified information about two of the Bush administration's most sensitive counterterrorism efforts.
 

Disturbing News

• 6 Dead, 2 Wounded in Wash. State Shooting Spree ABC News

• Inept response to floods outrages India Reuters 

• Hanna strands Haitians on rooftops Detroit Free Press 

• Hanna to move across Bahamas CNN International

More PayPal Lines Sent To AHNC

• Hand all Republican candidates their asses on a spike this November

• For all the voodoo that you do

• A voice in the wilderness - thanks!

• Because you're funny enough to feed.

• Because you do my research for me.

• Lisa, Keep up the good work.

• Love

While Bush Rides His Bike Putin Saves TV Crew From Tiger Attack

Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was feted by Russian media on Sunday for saving a television crew from an attack by a Siberian tiger in the wilds of the Far East.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• McCain campaign angrily defends Sarah Palin AP

• Palin to try to silence media storm in debut Reuters

• Republican heavyweights rally behind Sarah Palin Times Online, UK

• Sarah Palin to unveil teen dad Levi Johnston at convention The Australian

• President Bush gives little more than a cameo at Republican convention Dallas Morning News

• Bush visits Louisiana as state claws back from storm Reuters

• Attorney General Attends Republican National Convention WISC

Great Political Art

Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn’t want to have to be in a position to have to get C.P.R. from Mitt Romney. - Jay Leno

www.internetweekly.org

Rock-The-Voter News

• Obama Met With Fox News Executives Washington Post

• Obama Hits 50 Percent In New Gallup Poll FOXNews

• Governor's hearing to remove Detroit mayor begins The Associated Press

David Letterman: Top Ten Surprises In Barack Obama’s Democratic National Convention Address.

10. Delivered speech in a bright orange pantsuit.
9. Wants to change October to ‘Barack-tober.’
8. Most of speech was devoted to his Labor Day barbecue cole slaw recipe.
7. Outlined plan for America, then took calls about the Broncos defense.
6. Kept saying to John Kerry, ‘Hey, why the long face?’ – it’s funny every time!
5. Twelve-and-a-half minutes of, ‘Testing-one-two.’
4. Performed hilarious ventriloquist act with Dennis Kucinich on his lap.
3. Promised to make Pluto a state.
2. Plans to bring peace to Lo and Audrina on ‘The Hills.’
1. Also pronounces ‘nuclear,’ ‘nucular.’
 

“At one point this week, police in Denver had a showdown with over 300 protestors, ended up pepper spraying them. And since, of course, it was Denver and they were Democrats, it was only fresh ground pepper spray.”- Jay Leno
 

Biz-Tech News

• Oil prices drop as US opens reserve taps AFP

• Coke Bids for Chinese Juice Giant New York Times 

• Boeing workers to vote today on new contract AP

This is a little fun fact for you — both John McCain and Michael Jackson will celebrate their birthday. Yeah, so it will be the birthday of an old white guy and John McCain. - Conan O'Brien

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• New Abu Ghraib prison to show crimes of Saddam AFP

• Detainee Transfer Announced US Department of Defense (press release)

Cheney Diplomacy

Russia accused the United States of stirring up instability in Georgia on Wednesday, hours after U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney landed in the region to show support for Washington's ex-Soviet allies.

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Ukraine leader claims 'coup' ahead of Cheney visit AFP

• Cheney in Azerbaijan for talks on Georgia, energy CNN International

DING  DING  DING

Thank you for allowing me to be at your service!

Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312

Email All Hat No Cattle

Odd News

• FBI doubles reward for mob boss Whitey Bulger Seattle Post Intelligencer 

• Usher Plans to Perform for 'Women Only' People Magazine 

• Surfers Charged in McConaughey Pap Fight E! Online

• 8-foot mechanical ape missing, owner mystified AP

• Man told to get a job accused of chair attack AP

• Cat survives 70-mile trip under owner's truck AP

• Woman eyes skydive record over Everest Reuters

This picture made available by Emaar properties shows Burj Dubai in the Gulf emirate. The world's tallest building just got taller -- the Burj Dubai tower in the booming Gulf emirate of Dubai has now reached a height of 688 metres (2,257 feet) and is still growing, developers Emaar said on Tuesday, September 2, 2008.
Photo/EMMAR

Peace.