Bush = All Hat No Cattle. Kerry = All Hat All Medals. "The Republicans really went after John Kerry last night, they were on the attack, in fact Kerry took so many shots, today he got two more purple hearts." -- Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Dave Casey
The Large Editor - AllHatNoCattle.net
Dark week hopefully at an end
By the time the next weekend edition of All Hat No Cattle goes online Friday, it should be clear to the nation – and the world – if Bill Clinton is going to make it. He should have had his heart surgery by then, and the former president and international statesman will be recovering or floundering. That's assuming that he makes it until then, and millions will pray that he does. The news of Clinton entering the hospital just hit, and it comes like a kick in the groin to top off a weeklong mugging. The Cirque du Republicans spent most of four days alternately sliming their opponents and expressing disapproval of dirty politics. They unleashed snarling, Democrat-in-name-only Zell Miller and teeth-gritting Vice President Dick Cheney, who spoke about qualities for wartime leadership while studiously avoiding any mention of his Vietnam years spent safely stateside under a series of draft deferments. The Republicans also trotted out a man I once admired and could have voted for – John McCain - to publicly cement his alliance with the Bush dynasty and the neo-cons in order to secure his own future as a 2008 presidential candidate. It was as disturbing a sell-out as I’ve ever witnessed. In addition to the nauseating political display, Hurricane Frances is bearing down on All Hat No Cattle’s home state of Florida only three weeks after Hurricane Charley blew a good piece of the state off the map and soaked much of the rest. All in all, a very dark week. By next weekend, hopefully, the picture will have improved. John Kerry already is on the stump in Ohio and elsewhere, slamming back at the Republican slander of his military service record and gross misrepresentation of his anti-war statements following his return from Vietnam. More importantly, he and other Democratic leaders continue trying to refocus the campaign debate on the current dismal state of the nation and its hopes for the future rather than war rhetoric over conflicts past and present. Many voters, unfortunately, must be reminded loudly and often that our national security depends on economic health, diplomatic skill and many other factors besides a will to win. Some voters also must be reminded that attempts to bolster national security sometimes can infringe on the freedoms for which hundreds of thousands of previous patriots have died. Like the ad says, it’s not unpatriotic to question parts of the Patriot Act. And some voters must be shown again and again the numbers reflecting the increase in poverty, the decline in health insurance coverage, the loss of jobs and the general shrinkage of the middle class in order to convince them that it’s time for a change at the top. Maybe the coming week will bring better news. Maybe voters will be examining facts again instead of subterfuge. Maybe Hurricane Frances will have done its worst in Florida and begun dissipating. And maybe Bill Clinton will be recovering splendidly and planning to hit the campaign trail for Kerry before Nov. 2. Maybe. "On September 11, we had a president who didn't wring his hands and wonder what America had done wrong to deserve this attack." -- Governor George Pataki said of George W. Bush
Gov. Pataki, you're right. Bush didn't wring his hands; he sat on them for almost ten minutes after learning America was under attack.
Disturbing News
"Speaking about the president, Zell Miller said, 'I have knocked on the door of this man's soul and found someone home.' See, first he tried to knock on the soul of Dick Cheney but that had already been sold to the oil companies." -- Jay Leno
The 10 Funniest Ads of Campaign 2004 Republican Shenanigans
"Whoever approved this, I'm going to put on a slow boat to China." -- Karl Rove, on the Bush twins' convention speech, which reportedly was written by Karen Hughes Good News
www.toostupidtobepresident.com "In the war on terrorism, Osama bin Laden's cook and chauffeur have been captured. You get the feeling this is not the big victory Republicans were hoping for. More good news. It seems we're now closing in on bin Laden's pool boy and Pilates instructor." -- Jay Leno
Biz/Tech News
"There was an amazing lack of sophistication. People asked for autographs -- thinking I was Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Don King. I didn't care. I signed them." -- Rep. CHARLIE RANGEL, a Democrat, telling the New York Daily News about the reception he got at the Republican National Convention. Bush-Prison-Torture News
"They have attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as commander in chief. ... I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq." -- Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, who was campaigning in Springfield, Ohio on Thursday night Haiku
written in "honor" of the GOP Convention:
Standing In the rubble of the aftermath of 9-11. Anne Telnaes Cartoon
Graphic By Oz Go-F*** -Yourself News
“Kerry needs to trust that his victory is only going to happen by inspiring the natural base of the Democratic Party — blacks, working people, women, the poor and young people. Women and people of color make up 62% of this country. That's a big majority. Give them a reason to come out on Nov. 2.” – Michael Moore Kerry/Edwards News
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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