"President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming." --Conan O'Brien
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
"Federal authorities have issued a flurry of bulletins warning that sports stadiums, entertainment complexes, hotels, motels, apartment buildings, and transit systems could be targets of terrorist attacks. Well thanks for narrowing it down." --Jay Leno
South Carolina Gone Wild
A candidate to be South Carolina's next National Guard leader skipped the fiery speeches for firepower, launching his campaign with what he called a "machine-gun social."
Disturbing News
Reaching across the aisle to Republicans is like trying to persuade Ahmadinejad that the Holocaust really did happen. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Republican-Shenanigans News
"Sarah
Palin gave a speech to a conference of investors in Hong Kong yesterday morning.
Then she spent the afternoon shooting pandas from a helicopter." --Jay Leno GOP + Insult = $
The Republican
Party is using the newfound fame of the lawmaker who shouted "You lie!" at
President Barack Obama to raise money for GOP candidates around the country.
Rock-The-Voter News Walmart: America's New Image
Nearly half of the respondents chose Wal-Mart as the institution that best symbolizes America today, leaving in the dust runners-up Google, Microsoft, the NFL, and the banking and securities firm Goldman Sachs.
"And
yesterday at the United Nations, President Barack Obama told the world, 'Don't
expect America to fix all your problems.' Hey, hey, what happened to 'Yes we
can?'" --Jay Leno
Biz-Tech News
"And
according to the latest rumors, the former CEO of eBay, Meg Whitman, about to
announce she is running for governor of California. See, that shows you how bad
the economy is getting here in California. Now we're just another piece of crap
on eBay." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Did you hear President Obama's speech about nuclear proliferation? It was impressive. It's nice to have a president who can pronounce nuclear, isn't it?" --David Letterman
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"Health
officials are now saying that the swine flu could be spread at college keg
parties. They say if you attend a keg party and come home feeling numb and
vomiting profusely, you're probably fine." --Conan O'Brien
The John Phillips/Mamas & The Papas' song "I Saw Her Again Last Night" suddenly takes on a horrific new meaning. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
QUARTERLY FUND RAISER
If you can, p lease support All Hat No Cattle
Thank you Jonathan, Z-Mac, BJ and Linda!
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News To Help You Deflate Photo
A baby gibbon
is held by its mother in Vienna's Schoenbrunn zoo September 25, 2009. The
gibbon, born on Wednesday weighing between 300 - 400g, has yet to be sexed and
named.
Peace.
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