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September 24, 2004
TGIF/Weekend Edition |
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Osama bin who?
"I hear the war for Iraq has
cost us $200 billion. Did anyone think of just buying Iraq" -- Matt
Bellace
Our
thanks go out to the many All Hat No Cattle readers who sent messages of concern
about Ivan the Terrible.
The
worst damage from the hurricanes that have hammered Florida this season could
turn out to be political.
There’s been an infusion of federal disaster relief into the state, and the
storms provided the Bush brothers with unprecedented photo opportunities to
display their conservative compassion by shaking the hands of homeless and/or
hungry people. That just might pick up enough votes for the president to
actually win the Sunshine State this time around.
The
prospect of four more years of Dubya is enough to make me lose my lunch, even if
it is a delicious and nutritious Meal-Ready-to-Eat (menu No. 14, vegetable
manicotti) passed out by the National Guard at a nearby school.
With
four more years in office, the War President would have time to order the
invasion of several more nations. His coalition of the willing for future
conflicts probably would consist of staunch allies such as Lichtenstein and
Burundi, but no matter. The Bush administration would go it alone if it had to,
because if the rest of the world isn’t with us, they’re against us. Right?
With
another term in the White House, the Leader of the Great Economic Recovery could
further reduce corporate taxes, outsource millions of more jobs overseas,
increase the record budget deficit and continue to shrink the middle class.
With
a second term, the Born Again President could oversee the spiritual remaking of
America. Prayer could be reinstated in public schools, but only for students who
pray to the right God -- that being the God of the Right. The attorney general
would be entitled to wear Puritan garb and sentence liberals, moderates and
other offenders to burning at the stake, or at least to sessions in the dunking
chair.
With
four more years, the Eco President could finish gutting the Environmental
Protection Agency and withdraw the United States from more international accords
on pollution control.
With
four more years, the Statesman President would have ample time to insult other
nations, forget where they are located, mispronounce their names and those of
their leaders, and generally act like a loutish buffoon.
So I
hope I’m wrong about Florida and the potential political fallout from the
storms. But I fear I’m not.
The
United States needs four more years of this president like Florida needs another
hurricane. And Hurricane Jeanne is on the way.
E-Mail -
dave@allhatnocattle.net
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he
misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd because the Democrats
are saying the exact same thing about President Bush."
-- Jay Leno
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
http://www.atwitsend.org/currentcommentaries.html
Disturbing News
Graphic By
Sacred Remedy
On a tour of Massachusetts, the Pope took a
couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was
cruising along the shoreline of Cape Cod in his Pope mobile when suddenly he
noticed a frantic commotion just off shore.
There was President George W. Bush struggling frantically to free himself from
the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came
racing up with two men aboard. One of the men, John Kerry, quickly fired a
harpoon into the shark's side while John Edwards reached out and pulled the
bleeding, semiconscious President Bush from the water. Then, using autographed
Red Sox baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into
the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my
blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some
bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my
own
eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, John Kerry asked John Edwards "Who was that?"
"It was the Pope," John Edwards replied. "He is in direct contact with God and
has all of God's wisdom."
"Well," John Kerry said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't
know squat about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up?"
Build A Better Bush Fun !
Republican Shenanigans
Job Tracker. Just punch in your zip
code, and you can see which companies in your area are outsourcing jobs
overseas.
Biz/Tech
News
"Of course the White
House is doing everything they can to bolster President Bush's military image.
Like today they gave him a medal for campaigning in the battleground states."
-- Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
www.buckfush.com
Go-F***
-Yourself News
"Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the
War Drums"
or click here for a great song
In
democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
Kerry/Edwards News
"It sounds
like the sequel to a very bad horror movie, but it's no joke. Ivan is back."
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
Odd News
Aerial photo taken in 2000 of
the 4.5-km-long, so-called "colossus of Ruegen" complex in Prora, Germany. Ruins
from the massive vacation resort built by the Nazis were sold at auction to an
anonymous buyer for $768,000 (DDP)
Peace.
