"In Delaware, former Republican governor Mike Castle was defeated by Sarah Palin favorite Christine O’Donnell. Nobody knows what this woman does for a living, if anything. All we do know is that she's gone on the record to oppose masturbation, for real. I have a feeling Christine O'Donnell opposes masturbation the same way Bristol Palin opposes pre-marital sex." –Jimmy Kimmel

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Afghanistan at 1,178

• Controlled detonation kills US airman in Iraq

• Afghan officials promise security for elections

• Taliban kidnap candidate on eve of Afghan poll

• FBI urges U.S. Mohammed cartoonist to go into hiding

No Funds For Finding Pentagon Pedophiles?

...in 2007, investigators for the Defense Criminal Investigative Service obtained a list of 264 military service members, civilian employees and contractors for the Department of Defense who had used credit cards or PayPal to purchase access to a child pornography website. But the DCIS, citing scarce resources, pursued only 52 of the names before closing the project -- known as Project Flicker -- in 2008.

Disturbing News

• Hurricane Karl batters Mexico as it nears landfall

• Mother, son dead at Johns Hopkins, doctor shot

Radical Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The primaries made it quite clear
That our nation could lose all that’s dear.
The ballots are toted.
Republicans voted
For radicals. Dems, please don’t cheer.

I’ve been hearing some “general” spin
That these loons can’t November’s vote win.
This assumption’s not sound.
We’re in trouble profound.
We don’t fight? They’ll be in … just like Flynn.

Thanks again!

Mad
 

Comedy and Politics

TV personalities Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are taking their faux political feud to Washington and plan to hold opposing political rallies on the National Mall just before the November elections.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Will Big Tobacco's Former Bag-Man Really Be the Next Speaker?

• Flying high, Sarah Palin's next stops: Iowa, TV

• Michael Steele's 'Fire Pelosi' bus tour: 48 states or bust

• DeMint: Tea party candidates can win in November

• Republicans waver on earmarks ban

"Former New York Congressman Rick Lazio was beaten by an unknown businessman named Carl Paladino, whose achievements include comparing a Jewish assembly speaker to Hitler unfavorably, endorsing a plan to turn prisons into dorms to teach welfare recipients about hygiene, and he's also known for forwarding racist joke emails and videos of a woman having sex with a horse to his friends. Like Lincoln never emailed his friends a video of a woman having sex with a horse!" –Jimmy Kimmel
 

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Also visit John's official campaign website www.givecongressheck.com 

"In the Delaware Republican U.S. Senate primary, Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell won a huge upset. Interesting woman, very conservative. She has come out against masturbation. So not only is she against politicians putting their hands in our pockets, she's against you putting your hands in your own pockets as well." –Jay Leno
 

Rock-The-Voter News

• Poll gives Democrats a little hope for Nov. 2

• White House denies Mrs. Obama made 'hell' comment

• Clinton: Working to stay healthy for his grandchildren

Jimmy Carter Blames Ted Kennedy

 Former President Jimmy Carter says Americans could have had comprehensive health care coverage decades ago if Sen. Edward M. Kennedy hadn't blocked a plan Carter had proposed.

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Biz-Tech News

• Russia, Canada in rivalry over Arctic resources

• China rejects US pressure over currency

• Senate could pass small-business bill Thursday

• US homes lost to foreclosure up 25 pct on year

• Fewer People Having Kids in Recession

Egyptian Photoshop

Al-Ahram, the state-run newspaper in Egypt, recently ran a photo of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak leading President Obama and other world leaders during Middle East peace talks at the White House.

But that's not quite how the walk to the East Room played out. The BBC reports that Al-Ahram apparently had some fun with Photoshop, and placed the country's leader up front.
 

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• US fights order to release Guantanamo detainee

1 in 7 Americans Live In Poverty

The ranks of the working-age poor climbed to the highest level since the 1960s as the recession threw millions of people out of work last year, leaving one in seven Americans in poverty.

Lady Gaga won eight awards on the VMAs and accepted them in a dress made of meat. She’s also getting ready to launch her new fragrance. It’s called “A-1 Steaksauce.” - Jimmy Kimmel

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Tick Tock