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Wednesday edition - August 8, 2007
Graphic by MoPaul
Reagan/Bush played Iraq and Iran off one another and Bush/Cheney continue the long Republican tradition.
"Here's a remarkable story of recovery. ... Seems a brain-injured man who had been in a coma for the last six years is now awake -- eating and speaking with his family. In fact, you know what you call a man who has been in a coma for the last six years? Mr. President." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Saudi Arabia Won't Walk the Walk
Iraq's deputy foreign
minister urged neighboring countries to support its efforts to bolster security,
and said he hoped a new regional body meeting for the first time Wednesday would
produce real results.
Did I mention we owe China a trillion dollars? We owe everybody money. America is a debtor nation to Mexico! We're not on a bridge to the 21st century. We're on a bus to Atlantic City with a roll of quarters. - Bill Maher
Disturbing News
Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word, "France." Like just calling something "French" is the ultimate argument winner. As if to say, "What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?" - Bill Maher
Washington's August Break: Just Don't Call It Vacation Time
President
George W. Bush goes tomorrow to his family's seaside compound in Kennebunkport,
Maine, for a long weekend before heading for his ranch in Crawford,
Texas....``It's the optics,'' said Ken Duberstein, chief of staff under
President Ronald Reagan, who was known for his passion for spending time at his
California ranch. ``Whether you're in Congress or the White House,
you must give the impression that you're working and not tanning, that you're at
your desk and not at the beach.'' ...
Republican Shenanigans
Now, like any country, France has its faults, like all that ridiculous accordion music. But, their health care is the best in the industrialized world. As is their poverty rate. And they're completely independent of Mid East oil. And they're the greenest country. And they're not fat. And they have public intellectuals in France. We have Dr. Phil! - Bill Maher
Subject: Has Bush ever NOT been on vacation?
Certainly
not since a cocktail of expensive liquor and narcotics scared him straight, and
he had someone buy him a baseball team to begin his walk on an increasingly
winding straight and broadening narrow.
Doug
{{Shudder}} We've watched Bush unfold since November 2000. I wonder what his batting average would be? 150?
Rock-The-Voter News
"According to store owners in Iraq, Iraqi consumers are now developing a taste for American products like Pringles, Fruit Loops and Kraft macaroni and cheese. In a related story, Iraqis are also developing huge asses" --Conan O'Brien
Consumer Friendly Insurance Victory
The
nation's longest-serving insurance commissioner, George Dale, was losing the
Democratic primary Tuesday night to Gary Anderson, a former state fiscal officer
who campaigned for a more consumer-friendly Insurance Department.
Biz-Tech News
"Madame Tussauds' new wax museum in Washington D.C. is going to feature a "scandal room," featuring wax likenesses of elected officials involved in sex, alcohol, or ethics scandals. Why would you go there, when you can just walk five blocks to the Capitol building and see the real thing?" --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"The Bush administration is now looking into the possibility of pumping Iraq's oil into Israel. Well, that should calm things down over there. Finally a common sense solution!" --Jay Leno
Subject: AHNC
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for writing and your kind words. I'm here for the long haul, one way or another!
Don't worry about donating. Just tell a friend about my site.
Most of my viewers are US/state/local govt employees, US Military, Universities and of course, Homeland Security.
Recently an AHNC viewer emailed me and said Alexa has 86.7% of my viewers in China but that doesn't show up on my Google or Yahoo statistics.
Does anyone know anything about this web stat stuff?
Anyway, Charlane, if each AHNC viewer sent in a dollar a month, I would be swimming in about 15K a month. I'd be happy with 15K a year.
I'm not doing this for the money, obviously.
I'm doing this to keep me and you all from going totally insane.
Go-F***-Yourself News
"Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were both on television answering questions. A very unusual occurrence. Let me see if I can put it in some kind of perspective for you. To see a giant squid, that's unusual. Certainly a Bigfoot sighting, very rare. But Rumsfeld and Cheney answering questions on the same day on television? It would be like a giant squid having sex with Bigfoot as the ghost of Jim Morrison claps giddily." --Jon Stewart
All Hat No Cattle
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If you can't donate, just spread the good word about All Hat No Cattle! Odd News
Dancers perform an exotic dance during the 13th Moorish Games of Aben Humeya in Purchena, southeast Spain late August 5, 2007. The games is a competition of medieval sports and exotic dancing. Photo/Francisco Bonilla /SPAIN
Peace.
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