I don't trust Bush with a football, baseball or pretzel. "Do you know what happened on this day 4 years ago? Well, whatever it was, the Department of Homeland Security just found out today." -- Jay Leno
Dave Casey
The Large Editor - AllHatNoCattle.net
AHNC responds to terror alert
In response to the elevated terror alert announced recently by the Department of Homeland Security, the staff of All Hat No Cattle has duct-taped all the gaps between the bamboo-stalk walls of its Central American Bureau. AHNC personnel also are wearing beekeeper hats and mosquito net shrouds because of unconfirmed reports that Al-Qaeda operatives in Costa Rica may be planning suicide insect attacks. You can never be too prepared. The past three weeks spent in the “Switzerland of the Americas” have been highly educational for AHNC staffers. In Costa Rica, citizens and resident foreigners are not deemed unpatriotic or treasonous for expressing disagreement with government policy. Hearty political debate is encouraged. When the current administration of Costa Rica endorsed the U.S. decision to invade Iraq last year, 60,000 people marched in protest in the capital of San Jose. But there was no violence or mass arrests, no extensive surveillance by the nation’s security apparatus, no branding of the anti-war demonstrators as terrorist sympathizers or liberal scum. The reaction by the government of the third-oldest democracy in the Western Hemisphere reflected a greater respect for freedom of speech than in the hemisphere’s first democracy, the United States. In Costa Rica, the national slogan and a common salutation to others is “Pura Vida” –- pure life. You don’t hear expressions like “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” or “My country, right or wrong.” In Costa Rica, a deeply religious Christian culture, most men and women see little or no conflict between their belief in God and their appreciation for sensuality. Nudity is commonplace in art, and the nation’s top prosecutor doesn’t find it necessary to drape coverings over the bare breasts of female statuary. (But then, the Costa Rican equivalent of the U.S. attorney general doesn’t speak in tongues, either.) As in many Western nations, semi-nudity is not uncommon in Costa Rican surf-and-sun settings. A teenage girl was walking around topless at a local hotel swimming pool yesterday morning, in fact, prompting the AHNC Large Editor to prolong his breakfast while observing the local customs. And in Costa Rica –- after 45 years of universal public education and health care –- the population benefits from a much higher literacy rate (95 percent), a longer average life expectancy and a lower infant mortality rate than in the United States. Last but not least, the rate of major violent crimes also is much lower than in the States. The Switzerland of the Americas obviously is doing something right. Maybe the United States can learn something from its tiny neighbor and ally. Pura Vida. (Next week, AHNC reluctantly shifts operations back to Dubya’s USA: Unbelievably Stupid Administration.)
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Seen on Altercation A little told tale is the percentage of the troops fighting in Iraq that are National Guard and Reservists. It was 25% during "major combat operations." Currently it is 39%. However on July 7, the Director of Operations for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Lt. Gen. Norton Schwartz, told Congress that in 2005 he expects non-regular military to reach 43% of all troops in Iraq. (Source: AP) Almost half of the boots on the ground will be weekend warriors!!! As John Kerry said at the convention, it's a backdoor draft.
Disturbing News
Hi, Lisa Just a thought regarding the recent slam-ad about the "swift boat veterans" countering John Kerry's account of his actions in Viet Nam: Why is it so much easier to find guys who purport to have known Kerry in Viet Nam in hostile actions, but Bush's campaign machine cannot find credible folks to vouch for Bush's service in Texas or Alabama? I also did a Google search about the book "Unfit for Command," within which this group is referenced. When I first heard about the book, I thought to myself, "It's probably published by Regnery Publishing." Sure enough, it is. Another bit of tripe to be sold to the gullible. Have a great day, and keep up the good work. Regards, Bruce H. Hi Bruce. Bingo. The right wing scream machine strikes again. These are probably the same bunch of yo-yos who trashed John McCain's POW days. Who would you rather be in a foxhole with -- Kerry and his band of brothers or the yo-yos?
Republican Shenanigans
"President Bush tripped again ... this time over his English." -- Jay Leno Good News
An Australian billboard promoting sun block. "Baseball has come out with these John Kerry and George W. Bush bobble head dolls. They're pretty realistic. The John Kerry bobble head is huge and the Bush bobble head is empty." -- Jay Leno Biz/Tech News
Bumper stickers are only $1.50 FYI I received this e-mail today Dear user of allhatnocattle.net, administration of allhatnocattle.net
would like to let you know that:
Your e-mail account has been used to send a large amount of unsolicited
e-mail during this week.
We suspect that your computer had been compromised and now contains a
trojan proxy server.
We recommend that you follow instructions in the attached file in order
to keep your computer safe.
Best wishes,
The allhatnocattle.net team. There was a virus attached. I will never send out an attachment unless requested, and I would never send a virus. Duh. Those Republicans are up to their usual shenanigans.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Here's your weekly dose of antiwar satire: BamToon http://unclebam.homestead.com/BamToon.html Go-F***-Yourself News
Bush opposes 'legacy' admissions
Kerry/Edwards News
"All of you are soldiers in the army of compassion. And one of the reasons I'm seeking the office for four more years is to call upon our citizens to love your neighbor just like you'd like to be loved yourself." -- The Rev. George W. Bush Odd News
"The Republicans are now getting ready for their big convention in New York City. Apparently they have a plan for going into New York, but they don't have a plan for getting out." -- Jay Leno
When this famous Caracas statue of an ancient goddess cracked in half this summer, Venezuelans asked themselves if it was coincidence or a divine message. Followers of the cult deity Maria Lionza speculated she had sacrificed herself to wake Venezuelans up to the dangers of the nation's bitter political rift over the government of President Hugo Chavez, who faces a recall referendum this month. (Ho-Richard Alvarado/Courtesy of Alejandro Colina Foundation) Peace.
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