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TGIF/Labor Day edition - August 29 to September 1, 2008
Damn, smart move by McCain. In a nanosecond the excitement about Obama's speech disappeared from the headlines.
"And Barack Obama will give his big speech at Invesco Field, a football stadium, which is appropriate, considering how many times Democrats have fumbled in the past few years." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
"Well, as you know, the Democratic Convention is being held this week at the Pepsi Center in Denver. Don't confuse that with John McCain's convention next week, that's at the Polygrip Center, that's totally different." --Jay Leno
McBama Agenda
John McCain and Barack Obama
share common ground on a surprising selection of issues where the age-old
Republican-Democratic divide doesn't cut it anymore.
I want my Country BARACK. - Grant Gerver, comedy writer
Disturbing News Meanwhile Back In Iran
Iran has 4,000 working nuclear centrifuges, an official said in remarks published on Friday, in line with a number verified by the U.N. atomic watchdog but lower than a figure cited by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Vetting Sarah Palin
Gov. Sarah
Palin is under investigation for her firing of a state official, Public Safety
Commissioner Walt Monegan. She has been instructed to hand over documents and
recordings of telephone conversations as part of the probe, which grew out of
allegations she sacked Monegan
for refusing to fire her former brother-in-law from the state police.
The first political pesticide has hit the shelves just in time: "Neocon-Be-Gone!" - Grant Gerver, comedy writer
Republican-Shenanigans News
"And
eighty-four year-old Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens won his Senate primary
yesterday despite being indicted on corruption charges. He was indicted on
corruption charges and he won the primary. He says he wants to get back in the
Senate so he can keep working on the new issue most important to him: outlawing
prison rape. Yeah, for some reason that's his new issue." --Jay Leno
THE REPUBLICAN E.R. PLAN
John McCain's
healthcare plan, by his campaign's own admission, doesn't even try to extend
coverage to every American without insurance.
We're starting to get a better sense as to why this is. Rock-The-Voter News
Jack Abramoff Update
It used to be, when Jack
Abramoff needed something, he had an address book full of powerful Capitol Hill
contacts to call on, people he plied with expensive meals, campaign
contributions and golf junkets.
"During the Democratic convention, this is true, delegates are being warned this year not to drink too much. They're being told not to drink too much, yeah. Yeah when asked why, Democratic officials said the last time we got drunk at a convention, we ended up nominating Walter Mondale." --Conan O'Brien
Cindy McCain's Family Values
Cindy McCain's
half sister is planning on voting for Barack Obama, she tells Usmagazine.com...."I'm
not voting for McCain," Kathleen Hensley Portalski tells Us....Portalski's son
Nathan, a 45-year-old aerospace machinist, is also backing Obama.
Biz-Tech News
"Barack Obama's freshly-minted running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, also spoke tonight, and I have to say, after all the name-related problems this campaign has had, why Obama would pick a vice president with the last name 'Biden' is beyond me. Not that there's anything wrong with the name of Biden, but Obama-Biden, it's like they're trying to make their ticket sound as much like Osama Bin Laden as possible. They found the two guys in America whose names match up most closely with the person we hate more than anyone in the world, and they put them on the bumper stickers, very good thinking." --Jimmy Kimmel
It's the Constitution, Stupid
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Republican Sex Scandals Just Never End
A federal judge
has
been indicted on sex abuse charges, the Justice Department says.
"Here's a
little political fact. Dick Cheney is the first Vice President in eighty years
not to run for president. Actually, Cheney did consider four more years, but his
doctor only gave him two-and-a-half." --Jay Leno Go-F**k-Yourself News
Email from AHNC viewers
Subject: Donations.
Lisa,
Stop it, you're making me cry.
Thank you so much Geoff. I feel it is an honor to do what I do and I am obviously not doing it for the money. When I started this website in November of 2000 my intent was to make people laugh while bringing the truth to them (then it was just a hobby). In 2003 I started to refine the formula for AHNC's current content. And was incredibly encouraged by my viewers, like you. One thing I am is loyal, a rare commodity in a Democrat these days. I only wish I was independently wealthy and didn't have to beg for money every 3 months.
The good news is AHNC coffers have increased by $700 in donations since yesterday! So I am only a little over $1000 from my goal. Maybe there is hope yet!
Lisa, there is no other place on the Internet that has your humorous content that is UPDATED FIVE DAYS a week, you are amazing. Here's $50. I wish it could be more! I need you! Lonnie, TX
Deep curtsy.
Donate from Yurp
dear lisa, Hi Stefan,
Yurpeans don't have credit cards?
PayPal uses your checking account if you want. You transfer to PayPal then transfer to me.
Although I just got an email from some guy in Nigeria who said I have inherited millions and he wanted to deposit it in my checking acct too....lol
Thank you for writing.
So much has happened since AHNC was birthed. I'm glad I was at your site from the start. Bush stole an election in 2000, Bush handed over our spy plane to China in April 2001, My and your US congressman had a dead aide found in his office which went unreported nationwide in June 2001, 9-11, Bush/Cheney lied us into war in 2002 and then outted a CIA agent because her husband discredited them. And on and on...and you covered each and every event with great wit and grace. Come on people DONATE. Stuff a couple of ONES into an envelope and mail it to Lisa once a month. She's at least worth that.
Joe (not Scarborough) from Pensacola
I'm glad you're not Joe Scarborough, the last time I heard from him he threatened to sue me.
Thanks Joe for your support.
I often wonder what secrets the Chinese gathered from our spy plane we allowed to land in China instead of ditching it according to normal military procedure?
Thank you so much!
Only $1150 to go!
Please help keep All Hat No Cattle online Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
Scarecrow
football players man the line of scrimmage as scarecrow fans watch on a field
Wednesday Aug. 27, 2008, Hoschton, Ga. To coincide with the town's upcoming fall
festival dubbed 'scarecow stampede', Hoschton residents are trying to break the
Guinness World Record for most scarecrows in one location with a goal of 4000.
Peace.
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