Tuesday edition - August 28, 2007

 

 

 

 

Senator Larry Craig Got Busy In An Airport Bathroom?
Washington Post, United States - 8-28-07
...Craig, 62, was merely accused of playing footsie under the stall door and "brush[ing] his hand beneath the partition between them." Craig contends that it's all a big misunderstanding, explaining to police that "he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom."
 

Foley's former page will not file a civil suit against ex-congressman
Vero Beach Press-Journal - 8-28-07
Mark Foley said through his lawyer he would not file a civil suit against Foley and is satisfied with the news the former congressman is unlikely to be

Statements Rep. Allen said following arrest are thrown out
The Ledger, FL -8-28-07
AP Comments state Rep. Bob Allen made to police after he was arrested and charged with soliciting prostitution will not be used in court, attorneys agreed


 

I couldn't make this stuff up.

 

Beware of the homosexualrepublicancomplex!

 


 

Bill Clinton seems like a prude compared to these elderly versions of George Michael. Who knew the '90s would ever seem so old-fashioned and romantic[?] -  Ken Layne - Wonkette

 

 


 

 

 


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Public Relations 101: Know Your Client

 

KABUL, Afghanistan -- The U.S. military said Monday it regretted any offense it may have caused by giving out a soccer ball with the word Allah written on it as part of a public relations exercise in Afghanistan.

 


THE ONLY CANDIDATE WHO COULD POSSIBLY FILL ALBERTO’S SHOES

By Don Davis

 


 

Yeah George, it's a "which" hunt all right. "Which" disgraced neocon will fall next? - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

 


 

 

 


 


 

Disturbing News

 


 

Another Reason Why Bush Should Stay Put In Washington

 

A motorcycle police officer accompanying President Bush's motorcade crashed as their vehicles arrived at the airport and later died. The crash came less than a year after an accident in Hawaii killed another motorcycle officer accompanying the president.

 

 


 

The oil may be in Texas but the dipsticks are in DC - Anon.

 


 

Email;

Subject: Mr Subliminal

 

Listening to Bush’s brief press conference the other day, I was wondering how Mr. Subliminal - aka, Phil Maloney - aka Kevin Nealon [1.] might have handled it.


Mr. Subliminal Goes to Washington

"After months of unfair treatment (due process) that has created a harmful distraction (the truth) at the Justice Department (shambles), Judge Gonzales (incompetent) decided to resign his position (or get impeached) and I accepted his decision (fired). It is sad that we live in a time when a talented (stupid) and honorable (sleazy) person like Alberto Gonzales (Fredo) is impeded from doing important work (torture) because his good name (criminal) was dragged through the mud for political reasons (caught lying)."

 

1.] Mr. Subliminal, played by Kevin Nealon, was originally an advertising executive (named Phil Maloney) who used subliminal messages to influence people. His appearances on Update utilized the subliminal technique (i.e. saying things rapidly and under his breath, between words) to reveal what he is really thinking.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturday_Night_Live_characters_appearing_on_Weekend_Update

 

Robert

 

 


 

 


Republican Shenanigans


 

Bush Pardons Newly-Resigned Gonzales

 

 


 

President Bush will defend his war strategy is a speech to the American Legion convention in Reno this morning. He has a lot of explaining to do. In five years President Bush has authorized three invasions and only the colonoscopy was a success. - Argus Hamilton, comedian

 


 

 


Rock-The-Voter News
 


 

What would Gobbels do?

 


 

 

 


 

Ooh, Hillary was in the crosshairs of someone last week. Did you hear this? Ted Nugent...was giving a concert, and he held up a machine gun and made veiled threats about Hillary and Barack Obama. And I find this shocking: Ted Nugent still has concerts?! - Bill Maher


 


 

 

 


Biz-Tech News


 

“Listen to this, according to U.S. intelligence, they say Iraq Prime Minister Maliki is an ineffective leader” that “is…unable to work with his cabinet, lacks authority with the population, has poor communication skills -- no, wait a minute. That’s Bush. I’m sorry, I completely -- forgive me.” - David Letterman

 


 

 


Bush-Prison-Torture News

 


 

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question


 


Go-F***-Yourself News


 

 

 


 

Email

Subject: I am the happiest man in the world

 

 

Hello dear Lisa, a huge hug for you from Finland .

You have been cheering me up for many years and I wanted to thank you again for your commitment to humour and peace. I see you as a warrior, yes a warrior, to the right cause and I have great respect for the weapon you have chosen to fight corruption and apathy – Humour.


The reason I am writing this is that my 3 years of angst since I broke up with the mother of my child has ended. Just like a flash of lightning would have hit me, I fell in love.

Love is the mightiest force.


(Thanks for keeping me sane for all these years. I will scrape together a few bucks for you from the next paycheck I get. It wont be much, cause Im sorta struggling to get by, but you if anyone deserves it.)

 

You brought a big smile to my face.

 

Love makes the world go round and keeps us sane, too. I am very happy for you.

I am glad I have offered some humor relief for you....God knows we all need it.

In fact, I feel privileged that I can make someone laugh in far away Finland.

Please don't donate unless you can afford it!!

Thank you for the wonderful email.

 

 


 

Prince Charles' wife Camilla said Sunday she will not attend the memorial service in London this week on the tenth anniversary of Princess Diana's death. She said she would be a distraction. That is the same reason she didn't go to the wedding. - Argus Hamilton, comedian

 


 

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Thank you to all who have donated and those who want to! If you can't donate, just spread the good word about All Hat No Cattle!

 

 


Odd News

 


 

 

 

Sunday evening (8-26-07) about 6 PM. Ridgeway State Park, Owl Creek Pass in Colorado. Not a real clear night, fire smoke from CA.  Just a quick picture of out here in the west.

Photo by AHNC viewer Dennis O

 

 

 

Peace.