Monday edition - August 27, 2007

|
Attorney General Gonzales resigns: official
|
|
Failings in war on Afghan drugs |
Democrats give Florida primary ultimatum |
Please, dear God, let Bush and Cheney be next. Please, please, please....
Gonzales is gonna get the extra special oversized Medal of Freedom and an Escalade. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
4 US troops killed USA Today
US fire kills 4 Iraqi policemen The Brunei Times
Soldier returning home after death of second brother in Iraq AFP
Iraqis 'surrender' vacated British base in Basra to Shiite militiamen Scotsman, United Kingdom
It was this month in 1974 that Richard Nixon resigned the presidency after getting caught lying and violating the constitution. Remember when that kind of thing used to get you kicked out of office! Thank God those days are gone. - Jay Leno

Disturbing News
President Bush will visit New Orleans this week to check on the reconstruction progress post-Hurricane Katrina. His visit is a grim reminder. It's the two-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the one-year anniversary of the federal response. - Argus Hamilton, comedian

Republican Shenanigans
Family income rule costs some Texans insurance coverage Houston Chronicle
Poll: Young voters disenchanted with Republican party San Francisco Chronicle
As more schools miss standard, official says feds have gone too far
Sic 'em With
the Rally Squad
And other tips for dealing with demonstrators from the
Presidential Advance
Manual.
9AM OPENING CEREMONY RNC Anthem AmeriKKKa Uber Alles sung by Republican White Supremacist, Matt Hale.
9:05AM INVOCATION and Salute to Reverend Jerry Falwell by Reverend Donald Wildmon.
9:05:15AM PROTECTING OUR YOUTH - Clamping Down on Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll. - Reverend Ted Haggerd.
9:30AM KEEPING WOMEN IN THEIR PLACE A Salute to our Supreme Court.
10AM ETHICS Congressmen Tom DeLay & Duke Cunningham.
10:00:02AM ECONOMY Aren't we doing well? Those stupid schmucks who voted for us then took a subprime mortgage. The fools are still waiting for Reagan's Tax Cuts for the Super-Rich to trickle-down to them. Just keep telling them it's coming. - President George W. Bush.
10:15AM IRAQ Why I flip-flopped on my 1994 opinion that a War in Iraq would be a quagmire. Vice President and the Real Decider, Dick Cheney.
10:30AM WAR-PROFITEERING Continuation of above 10:15AM Seminar.
10:45AM DEFENSE - We are not spending enough. The Carlyle Group.
11AM SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE Newt Gingrich.
11:30AM SHREDDING THE CONSTITUTION, A Progress Report by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
12N LUNCH provided by HALLIBURTON (Do not worry, they are not serving the tainted food that they serve our fighting men in women in Iraq).
1PM FASHION THAT PLEASES GOD or Hemlines will fall 4" below the knee. A fashion show featuring 9-11 Mayor Rudy Giuliani and his fall fashions.
1:23PM FASHION THAT KEEPS YOU DRY First Lady Laura Bush provides insight showing the benefits of Scotchguarding your pants, with a film entitled, " When you don't have 7 minutes to let pee dry".
1:30PM AMERICA'S CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE Just blame Clinton. Bechtel Corporation.
2PM PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL PREDATORS Congressman Mark A. Foley.
2:30PM POVERTY This may be cancelled since we can't find a single Republican interested in poor people. Replacement program: MORE TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH, we are still reviewing our 146,947 applications for this seminar.
3PM FISCAL RESTRAINT Florida Representative Bob "I'll blow you for 20 bucks" Allen.
3:30PM CIVIL RIGHTS Good time to call your DC Madam and make an appointment for later. Smoking is not permitted in the building, you have amble time to go outside to smoke or go for a beverage, shopping, a brisk walk or get your nails done. The next 15 minutes are going to be very quiet in here.
3:45PM WAR ON DRUGS Rush Limbaugh provides us with insight on the functioning drug addict.
4PM LEGISLATIVE - HOW TO WRITE A BILL American Drug Lobby.
4:30PM FAMILY VALUES Just keep screaming, "look, those fags are kissing" and the stupid masses will be distracted from our real agenda. We need the trailer park vote. Special guest speaker and frequent sleep-over guest of the Bush White House, full time Gay Male Prostitute and Former White House Correspondent for GOPUSA, Jeff "Bulldog" Gannon.
5PM FOREIGN POLICY, All OPEC Nations have WMD's, they are developing nuclear weapons, they are an immediate threat to the USA and their people hate us for our freedoms) EXXON/Mobil Corporation.
6PM DINNER The lobbyist who bought you is waiting to wine and dine you.
SPECIAL NOTES:
1. Please do not mention Osama Bin Laden's name, we want America to forget, just change the subject to Hillary's cleavage.
2. Be on time tomorrow morning for our moving salute to Senator Joseph P. McCarthy.
John G
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Rock-The-Voter News
Democrats Take a Tough Line on Florida Primary New York Times
Obama Names Republicans He'll Work With
Republican presidential candidate Duncan Hunter revealed that he drives a Chevy
Suburban with 274,000 miles on it. Yeah, despite all those miles, the Suburban
still has a much better chance of making it to the '08 election than Duncan
Hunter. - Conan O'Brien

Biz-Tech News
Oil prices drop on profit taking International Herald Tribune
US home resales lowest in nearly 5 years
Yahoo gives e-mail texting capability
Subject: Joe Scarborough
Hi Lisa-
Long time no email! You may recall my email to you re: Joe Scarborough getting
away with murder.
Anyway, I was once a huge Joe Scarborough fan. That is, when he was a real
conservative. Something (murder and money?) happened on the way to MSNBC's late
night show replacing Imus, and you have helped a lot in the forming of my
current opinions of Mr. S. Thank you so much!!
As I said, I was ONCE a huge Scarborough fan--I was hoping he would be a VP
choice in '08. But, as they say, things happen. You are absolutely correct--the
police and Mr. S's resignation--and the Press's refusal to investigate this poor
gal's death was enough to change my opinion of Mr. S. That he's suing you or
about to is ridiculous. Keep me posted on what happens.
You're obviously a liberal, and that is fine. So is most of my family!! I was
too, for about 25 years. I even went so far as to work for Jerry Brown in his
run in '92 against Clinton. But, as I've already said, things happen! The Party
"left me" by going so far to the left that I was a minority. The gay and lesbo
lobby and the La Razas took the Party over. It was time to leave. After 4 years
as a Repub, I left to become an Indy con. And that's where I stand today. The
Invasion fr. Mexico is MY hot-button issue, the issue that is taking over the
country.
Something happened to conservative Joe Scarborough. Maybe it was his going to
work for ultra-liberal MSNBC, I don't know. But he changed. Now he's hugging
liberals and leftists and is making gazillions. He stopped representing my views
a long time ago. He's about as disgusting a personality as I've ever seen.
But even if he were still a conservative Republican (he has openly stated lately
that he's a Libertarian), I'd want him to face justice in the death of his
former intern. Because to me, justice is everything. Without it, as with OJ,
anarchy beckons.
"Bravo!" for standing up to Mr. S!!
Regards,
David Levin
Sorry, I don't recall your email to me. I receive 100s of emails a day and 1000s of spam.
Why in the world would you think Scarborough killed his aide? I offer no such opinion as that on my website, in fact, I say just the opposite. Have you even read my webpage on Joe?
I feel that Scarborough is too stupid to commit a murder and cover it up. But he's not too stupid to be an opportunist....it's all about Joe and Joe alone. I always knew the lack of coverage of his aides death would haunt him. If the national media investigated Joe as they did with Gary Condit/Chandra Levy, my webpage about him wouldn't even exist.
MSNBC is ultra-liberal? Please. MSNBC fired Phil Donahue in 2003, who was their highest rated show, and replaced him with Michael Savage and eventually Scarborough. . Click here to read Donahue's comments on his firing. Why would an "ultra liberal" TV station fire it's highest ranked talk show host? You can't have it both ways.
You think I am "obviously a liberal"? I couldn't possibly be a card carrying Liberal, I own too many guns. ;)

Bush-Prison-Torture News
Military Says It Can Repair Guantαnamo Trial Defects
Closing arguments Monday in court-martial of Abu Ghraib officer International Herald Tribune

Go-F***-Yourself News

Did you have a good time today? Please donate
Only $675.00 to reach our goal. Please kick in a couple of bucks!
Offline donation: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312 or purchase originally designed T-Shirts, Mugs and More
P
lease visit our advertisers
Thank you to all who have donated and those who want to! If you can't donate, just spread the good word about All Hat No Cattle!
Odd News
Psycho tries to open jet door New York Daily News
How a virus might make you obese

In this image provided by NASA shows a newly expanded image of the Helix nebula Friday Aug. 24, 2007 lending a festive touch to the fourth anniversary of the launch of NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope. This spectacular object, a dying star unraveling into space, is a favorite of amateur and professional astronomers alike. Spitzer has mapped the expansive outer structure of the six-light-year-wide nebula, and probed the inner region around the central dead star to reveal what appears to be a planetary system that survived the star's chaotic death throes. Spitzer launched from Cape Canaveral, Fla., on August 25, 2003. Photo/NASA-JPL
Peace.