Being Republican means -- you get to break the rules.  So go f*** yourself, if you don't like it.

"Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his service in Vietnam and the swift boat campaign? It's interesting this all took place in Vietnam, and now it just won't go away... If John Kerry had ducked the war like everybody else, he wouldn't have this trouble. It would be no trouble whatsoever." -- David Letterman

Bush Blast from the past:
"You f***ing son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this."

Bush to writer and editor Al Hunt, 1988

Dave Casey

The Large Editor - AllHatNoCattle.net

 The circus comes to town

What a week it’s been – and what a week looms ahead of us.

All Hat No Cattle drew passing mentions in the New York Times and Washington Post, causing a spike in site viewership. That pleased the AHNC publisher greatly, and when Lisa is happy, the staff (the Large Editor) is happy.

Also, the Olympics provided the Large Editor with his once-every-four-years chance to watch water polo, a sport he played a long, long time ago in a universe far, far away. Too bad the U.S. men’s and women’s teams were disappointing.

But even Athens wasn’t safe from the machinations to re-elect President Bush and Vice President Cheney. The International Olympic Committee and the Iraqi soccer team protested use of Olympics video in a Bush-Cheney television ad, but the campaign said it would continue airing the ad through the end of the games. In other words -– in typical vice presidential mindset –- “Go f*** yourself, IOC!”

Now we roll into Republican Convention week, which seems to have all the issues and players in place to provide some bizarre entertainment. Sort of a cross between Cirque du Soleil and The Sopranos.

Inside Madison Square Garden, party celebrities will talk Monday through Wednesday nights about the accomplishments of this administration during its first four years. That’s when and where the circus illusionist aspect will be most apparent.

To fill 11 hours of speech time finding things for which to praise Bush and Cheney will be difficult enough. But it will require a masterstroke of mass hypnosis to spend 11 hours talking about the nation and the world without mentioning the sinking economy and record deficit, two unfinished wars, Halliburton, Enron, the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth charade, or any of the administration’s numerous other failures and scandals.

However, the GOP has a parade of stars scheduled to address the glazed-eye party faithful, so they’ll probably pull it off. On Monday night, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and Sen. John McCain lead things off in the best lineup of the week that the Republicans could put together. Hell, I’d rather have Giuliani or McCain as president than the village idiot.

Tuesday and Wednesday nights, the circus kicks into high gear. First lady Laura Bush will turn her own glazed eyes and fixed smile on the adoring audience Tuesday and tell them why they should believe in the compassion and capability of her strong and virtuous husband who has restored honor and dignity to the White House. She will be joined by one of the few blacks in the administration, Education Secretary Rod Paige, who also will be one of the few blacks in the convention.

Some of us watching on television at home will have had a chance to get to the bathroom and vomit, so hopefully we won’t miss any of California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comment. A source deep within the Republican Party tells AHNC that The Gropenator will speak about women’s rights, sealing the borders against immigration, and changing the federal law requiring that presidents be born in the United States. The Ahhnold Amendment reportedly would allow European-born white males who already hold U.S. citizenship to run for president.

The Dick and Lynne Cheney tag team takes stage Wednesday. It’s hard to predict what either of this pair will talk about, but easy to say what they won’t discuss. Dick won’t talk about Halliburton, Enron or his national energy policy dealings. Lynne won’t talk about the novel she once wrote because she can’t really remember much about the plot. Or so she once said.

And there’s Sen. Zell Miller, the Georgia Democrat who might well announce to the convention audience that he’s switching parties, keeping alive the tradition of white Southern Democrats of wealth and substance who become Republicans –- icons of political and personal virtue like Trent Lott and Richard Shelby.

On Thursday, New York Gov. George Pataki is scheduled to speak before W his-self struts out. Some political analysts have said that the first three nights will be about administration accomplishments, followed by the president on Thursday laying out his plans and “vision” for the next four years.

That will necessitate a very brief speech.

E-mail: dave@allhatnocattle.net

Send Dave a comment in the anonymous machine below

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• GI Killed in Vehicle Accident in Iraq  AP

• Kidnapped Italian Journalist Said Killed  AP

• Militants Turn Over Keys to Najaf Shrine  AP

• U.S., Militants Battle in Central Baghdad  AP

• Car Bomb Explodes in Mosul, Injuring 10  AP

• Mortar Shells Hit Mosque in Old Iraq City  AP

• Iraq Oil Exports Cut in Half After Attack  AP

• Report: al-Qaida May Target VA Hospitals  AP

• Malaysia downplays chances of Muslim troop deployment in Iraq  AFP

• Kuwaiti firm bows to kidnappers' demands, stops work in Iraq  AFP

• Web Magazine Urges Arab Women to Fight  AP

• Donkeys and satellite phones pave the way for Afghan elections  AFP

Dems showing their butts -  Click here

(Link Fixed)

E-Mail

Lisa:

You might want to have a look at this --

Bush administration has used 27 rationales for war in Iraq, study says

The study was done by a student at University of Illinois at
Urbana-Champaign, and a summary and link to the paper is at:
http://www.news.uiuc.edu/news/04/0510war.html

Hang tough, beautiful.

Roger

Thanks Roger.

Wasn't it a group of Northwestern journalism students who found all those innocent men on Illinois' death row? Illinois should be proud of it's students.

http://www.sojo.net/index.cfm?action=action.election&item=petition_flash

"We're already starting to get some Republicans in town for the convention. You know what that means -- by this time next week it will be impossible to hail a cab or a hooker." -- David Letterman

Disturbing News

• Poverty Rate Up 3rd Year In a Row  washingtonpost.com

• Explosives Found in Russian Jet Wreckage  AP

• Militant group says it downed Russian jets Seattle Post Intelligencer, WA 

• Carrier Captain Relieved of Duty After Dhow Crash  Reuters

• Plutonium Shipment Plan Worries Lawmakers  AP

• Protests Bring Costa Rica to the Verge of Paralysis OneWorld.net, United Kingdom

 The Thrill Of Victory

The Agony Of Defeat

Republican Shenanigans

• Why is Florida's voting system so corrupt? MSNBC 

• More Floridians living in poverty; Escambia now poorest county  Tallahassee.com, FL 

• Bush to ask court for curbs on 'soft money' groups Palm Beach Post, FL 

• Political drama unfolds as letter carriers fail to deliver CNN

• Bush shuns Hollywood, opts for "wholesome" country acts at convention  AFP

• Even Postal Service on RNC Security Duty  AP

• Republicans Double Number of African American Convention Delegates U.S. Newswire (press release), DC 

• Bush Faces Heavy Pre-RNC Travel Schedule  AP

• Bush Signs Orders for Intelligence Reform AP

• U.S. to Take Over Terrorist Watch Lists AP

"If Barry Goldwater were alive today, he would disavow Bush, Rove, McCain, the Sh*t Boat Vets, Dole and the entire GOP for their complicity and silence in the lies and smears against John Kerry. "

Read Bob Witkowski  AtWitsEnd

 “The Iraqi soccer team at the Olympics lost to Paraguay, and the coach doesn't realize things are different now. He said ‘Ok, when do they shoot us?’ ” --  Craig Kilborn

Biz/Tech News

• Now It's Official: Economy Shrunk Reuters

• Greenspan Warns on Baby Boomer Benefits  AP

• Utah Man Buys Domain Names in Bush Push

• Satellite TV beams 140 channels into your SUV  USATODAY.com

• Spike Lee Wins Cybersquatting Case Vs. Porn Site  Reuters

• 103 arrests for Internet fraud, related crimes since June: U.S.  AFP

"TBS is going have a reality version, like the real thing, of 'Gilligan's Island,' and they've already cast it. They've got the bumbling goofball. They've got the millionaire. Oh wait, that's the Bush-Cheney ticket."  --  David Letterman

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Commander faulted for abuse at Iraq prison Seattle Post Intelligencer, WA 

• Chaotic prison always on the brink  USATODAY.com

• Confusion as Yemeni Faces U.S. Military Tribunal  Reuters

• Panel cuts off Yemeni man after he admits al-Qaeda tie Seattle Times, WA

• Abu Ghraib, the Next Step New York Times, NY

• Discussing, and Pronouncing, Abu Ghraib NPR (audio) 

http://www.desertersfortruth.com/

White House Denies CREW's FOIA for Contacts with Swift Boat Veterans Group

WASHINGTON, Aug. 26 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Earlier today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) received a letter from the Executive Office of the President denying CREW's Aug. 24 request for records detailing White House contacts with individuals connected to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (SBVT). As grounds for the denial, the White House claimed that it was exempt from having to disclose the information.

A copy of CREW's FOIA request can be found on the web at http://www.citizensforethics.or

Go-F***-Yourself News

• Report: Government Keeping More Secrets  AP

• Average Poverty Rates by State  AP

• Amputee vet at Bush's door Indianapolis Star, IN 

Kerry/Edwards News

• Kerry Challenges Bush to Weekly Debates Reuters 

• Kerry Proposes Crackdown on Credit Card Abuses  Reuters

• Bush, Kerry Bow to McCain's Wishes on Ads  AP

• Swift Boat Author Addresses Contradiction Guardian, UK 

Mark Thatcher 'planned to relocate to Texas' The Scotsman, UK 

Gee, I wonder who Lord Mark knows in Texas? Maybe Tony Blair will be moving to Crawford.

Odd News

• Dragons, Skulls Thrill Iraq's Teen-Age Tattoo Fans  Reuters

• Cheney's Plane Avoids Collision  AP

• Liberal MP has no apology for calling U.S. missile defense supporters idiots

• Doctors Grow, Transplant Jaw Bone in Man  AP

• Bag of rubbish artwork confuses gallery cleaner  AFP

• O Romeo, art thou a good Republican? Romance follows the party line in U.S.  AFP

• Dog Hitches 85-Mile Ride on Truck in Rain

• Man Stabs 6-Foot Gator to Free His Dog

• Cops: Man Steals, Beats Dog Over Barking

• Student Charged With Clogging Toilet  AP

• For sale: unusual property. Must like concrete  AFP

• Them's Unitarian Words, Reverend

• Low Miles, Roomy Trunk For Bags Of Cash

• Paris Hilton to Publish 198-Page Memoir  AP

People walking around on the ice covered Artic Ocean are dwarfed by the Swedish coring vessel Vidar Viking during a trip in this undated handout photo. Beginning this month, an international team is drilling deep into the Arctic Ocean ridge with the Vidar Viking for the first time in a technically complex effort to extract sediment that will provide a climatic history and may help explain how humans are changing the planet. (Viking Supply Ships A.S.)

Peace.