Being Republican means -- you get to break the rules. So go f*** yourself, if you don't like it. "Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his service in Vietnam and the swift boat campaign? It's interesting this all took place in Vietnam, and now it just won't go away... If John Kerry had ducked the war like everybody else, he wouldn't have this trouble. It would be no trouble whatsoever." -- David Letterman
Bush Blast
from the past:
Dave Casey
The Large Editor - AllHatNoCattle.net
The circus comes to town
What a week it’s been – and what a week looms ahead of us. All Hat No Cattle drew passing mentions in the New York Times and Washington Post, causing a spike in site viewership. That pleased the AHNC publisher greatly, and when Lisa is happy, the staff (the Large Editor) is happy. Also, the Olympics provided the Large Editor with his once-every-four-years chance to watch water polo, a sport he played a long, long time ago in a universe far, far away. Too bad the U.S. men’s and women’s teams were disappointing. But even Athens wasn’t safe from the machinations to re-elect President Bush and Vice President Cheney. The International Olympic Committee and the Iraqi soccer team protested use of Olympics video in a Bush-Cheney television ad, but the campaign said it would continue airing the ad through the end of the games. In other words -– in typical vice presidential mindset –- “Go f*** yourself, IOC!” Now we roll into Republican Convention week, which seems to have all the issues and players in place to provide some bizarre entertainment. Sort of a cross between Cirque du Soleil and The Sopranos. Inside Madison Square Garden, party celebrities will talk Monday through Wednesday nights about the accomplishments of this administration during its first four years. That’s when and where the circus illusionist aspect will be most apparent. To fill 11 hours of speech time finding things for which to praise Bush and Cheney will be difficult enough. But it will require a masterstroke of mass hypnosis to spend 11 hours talking about the nation and the world without mentioning the sinking economy and record deficit, two unfinished wars, Halliburton, Enron, the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth charade, or any of the administration’s numerous other failures and scandals. However, the GOP has a parade of stars scheduled to address the glazed-eye party faithful, so they’ll probably pull it off. On Monday night, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and Sen. John McCain lead things off in the best lineup of the week that the Republicans could put together. Hell, I’d rather have Giuliani or McCain as president than the village idiot. Tuesday and Wednesday nights, the circus kicks into high gear. First lady Laura Bush will turn her own glazed eyes and fixed smile on the adoring audience Tuesday and tell them why they should believe in the compassion and capability of her strong and virtuous husband who has restored honor and dignity to the White House. She will be joined by one of the few blacks in the administration, Education Secretary Rod Paige, who also will be one of the few blacks in the convention. Some of us watching on television at home will have had a chance to get to the bathroom and vomit, so hopefully we won’t miss any of California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comment. A source deep within the Republican Party tells AHNC that The Gropenator will speak about women’s rights, sealing the borders against immigration, and changing the federal law requiring that presidents be born in the United States. The Ahhnold Amendment reportedly would allow European-born white males who already hold U.S. citizenship to run for president. The Dick and Lynne Cheney tag team takes stage Wednesday. It’s hard to predict what either of this pair will talk about, but easy to say what they won’t discuss. Dick won’t talk about Halliburton, Enron or his national energy policy dealings. Lynne won’t talk about the novel she once wrote because she can’t really remember much about the plot. Or so she once said. And there’s Sen. Zell Miller, the Georgia Democrat who might well announce to the convention audience that he’s switching parties, keeping alive the tradition of white Southern Democrats of wealth and substance who become Republicans –- icons of political and personal virtue like Trent Lott and Richard Shelby. On Thursday, New York Gov. George Pataki is scheduled to speak before W his-self struts out. Some political analysts have said that the first three nights will be about administration accomplishments, followed by the president on Thursday laying out his plans and “vision” for the next four years. That will necessitate a very brief speech.
E-mail: dave@allhatnocattle.net Send Dave a comment in the anonymous machine below
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Dems showing their butts - Click here (Link Fixed)
Lisa: Thanks Roger. Wasn't it a group of Northwestern journalism students who found all those innocent men on Illinois' death row? Illinois should be proud of it's students.
"We're already starting to get some Republicans in town for the convention. You know what that means -- by this time next week it will be impossible to hail a cab or a hooker." -- David Letterman Disturbing News
The Thrill Of Victory
The Agony Of Defeat
Republican Shenanigans
"If Barry Goldwater were alive today, he would disavow Bush, Rove, McCain, the Sh*t Boat Vets, Dole and the entire GOP for their complicity and silence in the lies and smears against John Kerry. " “The Iraqi soccer team at the Olympics lost to Paraguay, and the coach doesn't realize things are different now. He said ‘Ok, when do they shoot us?’ ” -- Craig Kilborn Biz/Tech News
"TBS is going have a reality version, like the real thing, of 'Gilligan's Island,' and they've already cast it. They've got the bumbling goofball. They've got the millionaire. Oh wait, that's the Bush-Cheney ticket." -- David Letterman Bush-Prison-Torture News
http://www.desertersfortruth.com/
White House Denies CREW's FOIA for Contacts with Swift Boat Veterans Group WASHINGTON, Aug. 26 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Earlier today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) received a letter from the Executive Office of the President denying CREW's Aug. 24 request for records detailing White House contacts with individuals connected to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (SBVT). As grounds for the denial, the White House claimed that it was exempt from having to disclose the information. A copy of CREW's FOIA request can be found on the web at http://www.citizensforethics.or Go-F***-Yourself News
Kerry/Edwards News
Mark Thatcher 'planned to relocate to Texas' The Scotsman, UK Gee, I wonder who Lord Mark knows in Texas? Maybe Tony Blair will be moving to Crawford.
Odd News
People walking around on the ice covered Artic Ocean are dwarfed by the Swedish coring vessel Vidar Viking during a trip in this undated handout photo. Beginning this month, an international team is drilling deep into the Arctic Ocean ridge with the Vidar Viking for the first time in a technically complex effort to extract sediment that will provide a climatic history and may help explain how humans are changing the planet. (Viking Supply Ships A.S.) Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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