Thursday edition - August 16, 2007


The Only War Bush Has Won





Iraqi women: Prostituting ourselves to feed our children - 8-16-07
By Arwa Damon BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- The women are too afraid and ashamed to show their faces or have their real names used.


Iraqi officials: Truck bombings killed at least 500
CNN - 8-16-07
BAGHDAD, Iraq - The death toll in this week's suicide bombings in northern Iraq has risen to at least 500, local officials in Nineveh province said Wednesday.

Suicide Rate in Army at a 26-Year High
Washington Post - 8-16-07
WASHINGTON -- Ninety-nine US soldiers on active duty killed themselves last year, the highest rate of suicide in the Army in 26 years, a military report said.


How much worse can Bush make Iraq?



"For those of you who still care, what exactly is the Iowa straw poll? [on screen: a political science prof. explaining that GOP candidates tend to pay the $35 ticket fee for voters in hopes they will come out and support them]. So, it's an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your vote. Or, as the Republicans call it, 'Our vision for the future.'" --Jon Stewart




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


While The Carnage Continues In Iraq, Bush Holds A Three Mile Run At His Ranch


The temperature topped 100, sweaty degrees at President Bush's ranch on Wednesday — a fine day for a three-mile run...Bush cheered them on at the halfway point and then rode in his pickup truck back to the finish line in time to shake hands with every runner and present each with a light blue T-shirt emblazoned with: "The President's 100 Degree Club."



By Don Davis



"But have no fear, help is on the way for this administration. Condoleezza? [on screen: Sec/State Condoleezza Rice naming Cal Ripken Jr. as Special Sports Envoy to the State Dept.] ... This is an unusual situation, one we will examine in a segment we're calling 'Rice & Ripken: Together at ... Why?! ... I guess it's kind of a cool idea. You send Ripken to some baseball-mad country like the Dominican or Venezuela [on screen: Ripken saying, 'I can't wait to get to China to see how baseball is received']. China? So to get China to like us we're going to send a guy they've probably never heard of to crush them in a sport they've never played? No wonder they're poisoning our toys." --Jon Stewart




Disturbing News


Goodbye, prayers are with your family. History suggests, after all, that spending more time with you can only lead to tragedy.

Don't let the smoldering remnants of the American experiment hit you in the ass on the way out...

The Plaid Adder - Democratic Underground


It's A Small, Small World


In 1973, Rove ran for chairman of the College Republicans. He challenged the front-runner's delegates, throwing the national convention into disarray, after which both he and his opponent, Robert Edgeworth, claimed victory. The dispute was resolved when Rove was selected through the direct order of the chairman of the Republican National Committee, who at the time was none other than George H.W. Bush.



Republican Shenanigans



"We all know Karl Rove resigned yesterday. Big blow to the White House. Rumsfeld's gone, Wolfowitz, Harriet Miers, Dan Bartlett -- all gone. Cheney -- never much help during the summer. That's his egg-laying season." --Jon Stewart


$30 Billion For Israel


The United States offered Israel on Thursday an unprecedented $30 billion military aid package, bolstering its closest Mideast ally.

Rock-The-Voter News


"Karl Rove, the mastermind behind George Bush's entire political career, is stepping aside to spend more time, I can only assume, spreading rumors about his family. ... For those of us who never got to know Karl Rove -- mostly because he refused to answer any of the public's questions -- who was he? [on screen: news reports of Rove's nicknames, including 'turd blossom']. Now, now. I know turd blossom sounds bad, but amongst turd-related nicknames, blossom is about as good as you can do. I guess turd rainbow maybe is the only other" --Jon Stewart





CNBC’s Erin Burnett: We Need China’s Toxic Food And Lead Coated Toys To Keep Economy Strong Crooks & Liars



Biz-Tech News



Bush Support


The Bush administration on Wednesday took the side of defendant companies in a Supreme Court case that could determine the fate of other investor lawsuits including one stemming from the Enron scandal.



"The mood here is one of unspeakable sadness. Rove's very presence these past six-and-one-half years has been a source of joy and light, not just to the jaded Beltway insider such as myself, but to the children who frolic behind him, hoping to catch one of the sweets which fall naturally from his doughy pantaloons. 'Turd pinata,' they shout" --Daily Show correspondent John Oliver




Subject: Bush's Lyme Disease



So our Cowboy was bit and got sick.
(Better that than being shot by a Dick.)
Was Bush down on his "ranch"
"Clearing brush" in a trance
When attacked by this patriot tick?



Thank you so much Ron, I needed a laugh.





Bush-Prison-Torture News


U.S. Comptroller General David Walker said Monday the U.S. is going the way of the Roman Empire. It's debatable. Yes, we import slave labor and overextend our troops abroad, but as long as we put Michael Vick in jail for dogfighting we're not there yet. - Argus Hamilton

Go-F***-Yourself News




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Odd News




Garfield Andrews of Toronto participates in a national cannonball championship in Toronto August 15, 2007. Photo/Mark Blinch