TGIF/Weekend edition - August 10-12, 2007





Bush: Other nations delay Guantanamo closure
MSNBC - 8-10-07
WASHINGTON - Reluctance by other countries to take custody of terrorism suspects held at Guantanamo Bay is delaying Washington’s shutting of the widely criticized prison, President George Bush said on Thursday.

Bush to Iraq: Don't get cozy with Iran
Seattle Times, United States - 8-10-07
In a joint appearance, al-Maliki told Ahmadinejad that Iran has a "positive and constructive" role in improving security in Iraq, the official IRNA news agency reported. On Thursday night, Iranian television broadcast a statement from Khamenei

Iraqi goalkeeper kidnapped en route from northern Iraq to Baghdad
International Herald Tribune, France - 8-10-07
Victims have included the Sunni head of one of Iraq's leading soccer clubs, an Iraqi international soccer referee, a top player on the Iraqi Olympic soccer ...


Bush blames other countries for delaying the Guantanamo closure? Wasn't he the one that opened it?



"Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run and broke Hank Aaron's record. ... Last night, President Bush did not call Barry Bonds ... but today, Bush decided to make the call. Bush said, 'I realized I had a rare opportunity to talk to the only guy in the country who's less popular than I am.'" --Conan O'Brien





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Bush the Unprober


“It was relatively easy for me to read the sitting president’s body language after he had talked to his mother or father,” Mr. Andrew Card said. “Sometimes he’d ask me a probing question. And I’d think, Hmm, I don’t think that question came from him.”



By Don Davis




Disturbing News

The Smack Surge in Afghanistan


Just outside the main gate to Bagram airfield, a U.S. military installation in Afghanistan, sits a series of small makeshift shops known by locals as the Bagram Bazaar. For Afghans, it is the place to buy American goods, but the stalls that make up the heart of the bazaar are also well known for what they provide American soldiers stationed at Bagram. Walking through the bazaar it takes less than 10 minutes for a vendor in his early 20s to step out and ask, "You want whiskey?" "No, heroin," I tell him. He ushers me into his store with a smile.



"Supreme Court Justice John Roberts is back on the bench, even though he is prone to seizures. ... When President Bush heard this, he said, 'That's great 'cause I'm prone to illegal searches'" --Jay Leno





Republican Shenanigans

Bush Too Busy For APEC Summit


US President George W. Bush will arrive in Australia early for next month's APEC summit but will return home mid-meeting to prepare for a crucial report on the Iraq war, John Howard said Friday.





"Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney said they will not participate in the Republican debate next month in Florida. John McCain said he will be there ... if he can get a ride." --Jay Leno


Rock-The-Voter News


"Mitt Romney -- the only candidate named after a glove, one of the leading Republicans, he's called the war on terror the defining mission of our generation -- was asked in Iowa today why none of his five draft-age or army eligible sons are serving in the military. He said -- and this is a quote, people -- 'One of the ways my sons are showing support for the nation is helping me get elected, 'cause they think I'd make a great president.' When I read that, I was moved ... and I'll tell you why. To know that the Romney boys love America so much and the whole family that they're willing to give up all five of their boys for the Romney campaign. Who knows what kind of post-traumatic care these boys will need after the election?" --Jon Stewart







Biz-Tech News


Bush: No Bail Out For The Homeless


President Bush said Thursday concern should be shown those who've lost their homes but it's not the federal government's job to bail them out.




Subject: Bush has lyme disease?


Let me get this straight. George Bush had lyme disease and it went unreported for a year. I checked and among the symptoms of lyme disease are lethargy, forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty thinking and difficulty with speech. I don't think his lyme disease went unreported - I think it went unnoticed.



Hahaha! Thanks for writing!


Email a comment



Okay, the poor President had Lyme disease. Pity the tick. -Grant Gerver,



Bush-Prison-Torture News


"Elizabeth Edwards is speaking out again. [She's] a little upset. She said the problem with her husband John Edwards' fundraising -- you know, compared to the other candidates -- is she can't make him black and she can't make him a woman. That's the same problem Michael Jackson's people have." --Jay Leno


Go-F***-Yourself News





Problem solved: NASA installs Breathalyzer on shuttle ignition switch - Grant Gerver,



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Odd News




Wenger company's Swiss Army Knife version XXL, which was selected by the Guinness Book of world Records as the world's 'Most Multifunctional Penknife'. The knife features 87 tools and 141 functions. Photo/KEYSTONE/PHOTOPRESS/Wenger