TGIF/Weekend edition - August 10-12, 2007

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Bush: Other nations delay Guantanamo closure |
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Bush to Iraq: Don't get cozy with Iran |
Iraqi goalkeeper kidnapped en
route from northern Iraq to Baghdad |
Bush blames other countries for delaying the Guantanamo closure? Wasn't he the one that opened it?
"Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run and broke Hank Aaron's record. ... Last night, President Bush did not call Barry Bonds ... but today, Bush decided to make the call. Bush said, 'I realized I had a rare opportunity to talk to the only guy in the country who's less popular than I am.'" --Conan O'Brien

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
US Military Deaths in Iraq at 3683 ABC News
US Helicopter Forced Down In Iraq
Record death toll of British troops in Iraq Telegraph.co.uk
Pakistan gunships pound Taliban, Al-Qaeda amid US pressure AFP
UN to Vote on Iraq Resolution Voice of America
Iranian and Syrian officials deny fueling violence in Iraq International Herald Tribune
Bush the Unprober
“It was relatively easy for me to read the sitting president’s body language after he had talked to his mother or father,” Mr. Andrew Card said. “Sometimes he’d ask me a probing question. And I’d think, Hmm, I don’t think that question came from him.”
Disturbing News
Divers find more bodies United Press International
Where are the storms? Worst ones are often late
The Smack Surge in Afghanistan
Just outside the main gate to Bagram airfield, a U.S. military installation in Afghanistan, sits a series of small makeshift shops known by locals as the Bagram Bazaar. For Afghans, it is the place to buy American goods, but the stalls that make up the heart of the bazaar are also well known for what they provide American soldiers stationed at Bagram. Walking through the bazaar it takes less than 10 minutes for a vendor in his early 20s to step out and ask, "You want whiskey?" "No, heroin," I tell him. He ushers me into his store with a smile.
"Supreme Court Justice John Roberts is back on the bench, even though he is prone to seizures. ... When President Bush heard this, he said, 'That's great 'cause I'm prone to illegal searches'" --Jay Leno

Republican Shenanigans
Bush plans push on immigrant laws, fines Boston Globe
South Carolina moves up primary
Giuliani Talks About Ground Zero Risks
Bush Too Busy For APEC Summit
US President George W. Bush will arrive in Australia early for next month's APEC summit but will return home mid-meeting to prepare for a crucial report on the Iraq war, John Howard said Friday.

"Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney said they will not participate in the Republican debate next month in Florida. John McCain said he will be there ... if he can get a ride." --Jay Leno
Rock-The-Voter News
Gay voters scrutinize Democrats in TV forum Monsters and Critics.com
24% Say Clinton Would Not Be Influenced By Lobbyist Rasmussen Reports
"Mitt Romney -- the only candidate named after a glove, one of the leading Republicans, he's called the war on terror the defining mission of our generation -- was asked in Iowa today why none of his five draft-age or army eligible sons are serving in the military. He said -- and this is a quote, people -- 'One of the ways my sons are showing support for the nation is helping me get elected, 'cause they think I'd make a great president.' When I read that, I was moved ... and I'll tell you why. To know that the Romney boys love America so much and the whole family that they're willing to give up all five of their boys for the Romney campaign. Who knows what kind of post-traumatic care these boys will need after the election?" --Jon Stewart

Biz-Tech News
Universal Music Will Sell Songs Without Copy Protection
Bush: No Bail Out For The Homeless
President Bush said Thursday concern should be shown those who've lost their homes but it's not the federal government's job to bail them out.
Subject: Bush has lyme disease?
Let me get this
straight. George Bush had lyme disease and it went unreported for a year. I
checked and among the symptoms of lyme disease are lethargy, forgetfulness,
confusion, difficulty thinking and difficulty with speech. I don't think his
lyme disease went unreported - I think it went unnoticed.
Gerald
Hahaha! Thanks for writing!
Okay, the poor President had Lyme disease. Pity the tick. -Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

Bush-Prison-Torture News
Six released from Guantanamo Kansas City Star
"Elizabeth Edwards is speaking out again. [She's] a little upset. She said the problem with her husband John Edwards' fundraising -- you know, compared to the other candidates -- is she can't make him black and she can't make him a woman. That's the same problem Michael Jackson's people have." --Jay Leno
Go-F***-Yourself News
Oil drilling off Alaska: Cheney's ill-advised crusade San Jose Mercury News
Bush/Cheney ‘Impeach’ Ordinance Ratified Telluride Watch

Problem solved: NASA installs Breathalyzer on shuttle ignition switch - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

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Odd News
West Nile Threat Rises in California as Pools Lure Mosquitoes Bloomberg
Cosmetic Breast Surgeries Tied to Increased Suicide Risk Forbes

Wenger company's Swiss Army Knife version XXL, which was selected by the Guinness Book of world Records as the world's 'Most Multifunctional Penknife'. The knife features 87 tools and 141 functions. Photo/KEYSTONE/PHOTOPRESS/Wenger
Peace.