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Tuesday edition - July 17, 2007
In case of another terror threat, do we still stock up on duct tape?
"President Bush held a press conference yesterday to discuss the latest report out of Iraq. He says there's plenty of reason for optimism, although I'm starting to get the feeling he doesn't know what that word means." --Jimmy Kimmel
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"According to the current issue of Sports Illustrated, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has become a 'golf nut.' She's pretty good, too. The only sand trap she can't get out of? Iraq." --Jay Leno
"I challenge the president or anyone who has us for 15 months to ride alongside me. I do another 15 months if he comes out here and rides along with me every day for 15 months. I'll do 15 more months. They don't even have to pay me extra." - on the front lines of Baghdad, Spc. Michael Vassell of Apache Company
Disturbing News
"It seems that a member of the Florida House of Representatives and the co-chairman of John McCain's Florida campaign, a man named Bob Allen, has just been arrested for soliciting an undercover male police officer for sex. He offered to perform a sex act on the police officer for $20. Remember the good old days during a campaign, when you only had to kiss babies? It is so competitive now for what you have to do to get elected." --Jay Leno
Republican Shenanigans
Dick Durbin on Iraq filibuster
"The President's approval rating just keeps getting lower and lower. Right now, he's somewhere between former President Richard Nixon and the hunter who shot Bambi. And by tomorrow, he's expected to rank somewhere between John Mark Karr and Chinese toothpaste." --Jimmy Kimmel
Rock-The-Voter News
This war will have its own image of surrender: Bush signing something on the deck of a dhow in the Tigris; Laura wearing a burkha; Jenna getting into a van with the Iraqi polo team. - Wonkette
Biz-Tech News
She's Baaaack!
KEYSER, West Virginia - Lynndie England, one of the
most recognizable figures of the Abu Ghraib prison scandal in Iraq, has a new
role as a volunteer member of a local recreation board in the United
States...England, who now works in Hardy's law firm as a legal assistant,
was released in March from a
military prison in San Diego, California, after serving half her 36-month
sentence. She was convicted of six counts involving prisoner mistreatment. Bush-Prison-Torture News
Islam & Christian Fundamentalists Agree On Something
In the United States, opposition to the teaching of evolution in public schools has largely been fueled by the religious right, particularly Protestant fundamentalism....It is the voice of Adnan Oktar of Turkey, who, under the name Harun Yahya, has produced numerous books, videos and DVDs on science and faith, in particular what he calls the “deceit” inherent in the theory of evolution.
Go-F***-Yourself News
Did you have a good time today?
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Odd News
This photo provided by Push Pictures shows British explorer and endurance swimmer Lewis Gordon Pugh diving into the waters of the Geographic North Pole, Sunday July 15, 2007. Pugh, Sunday braved sub-zero temperatures to become the first person to swim at the North Pole. Pugh took to the freezing waters in just his swimming briefs, cap and goggles to highlight the devastating impact of climate change on the natural world. It took him 18 minutes and 50 seconds to swim 1 kilometre (0.6 miles) in waters created by melted sea ice. Photo Jason Roberts/Push Pictures
Peace.
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