Thursday edition - July 12, 2007

White lies by a white liar.

Did you hear that $282,000,000 in US currency was stolen from Dar al-Salam Bank in Central Baghdad? "Osama Bin Laughin'" all the way to the bank. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 3610 San Jose Mercury News

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Reuters photographer and driver killed in Iraq Reuters

• Iraq bank heist nets thieves nearly $300 million MSNBC

• U.S. troops raid Shiite district AP

• Iraq attacks kill seven AFP

• US air strike kills five bombers in central Iraq AFP

• U.S. air strike kills 5 militiamen in south Iraq Reuters

• 'Spectacular attacks' in Iraq expected Los Angeles Times, CA 

• Iraq 'surge' gets mixed report card Guardian Unlimited, UK

• US faced with Iraqi Army turncoats The Christian Science Monitor

• Britain's Brown Says Iraq Mistakes Made Guardian Unlimited

• Iraqis bemoan lack of services in long, hot summer Reuters

• US may cut Navy presence in Persian Gulf AP

• Report on Iraq shows mixed results AP

Giant Badgers Invade Iraq

THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.

"Analogies were my favorite part of the SATs. I feel like we should do some tonight. ... President George W. Bush last week shocked many Americans by commuting a sentence: President George W. Bush this week shocked many Americans by completing a sentence." --Conan O'Brien

AL GORE TO DEFER PRESIDENTIAL RUN — UNTIL GLOBAL WARMING BURNS UP THE SOUTH

Disturbing News

• Undercover Investigators Obtain Nuclear License Washington Post

Republican 'Surge' Strategy Was No More Suck-cessful Than Bush's.

Titusville police say they have arrested Florida State Rep. Robert "Bob" Allen, (R) of Merrit Island, on second degree misdemeanor charges for solicitation for prostitution...Officers say they noticed Allen acting suspicious as he went in and out of the men's restroom 3 times. Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20.
 

http://www.republicansexoffenders.com

impukement: unrelenting nausea caused by the failure of a governing body to impeach its traitorous leaders: the lack of impeachment proceedings against the president and vice president caused a strong feeling of impukement among the electorate.  - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

Republican Shenanigans

• Justice Dept. to White House officials: Ignore Congress Los Angeles Times

• Former Bush aide mum on AG firings BurlingtonFreePress.com

• State Officials Frustrated By Terror Talk Boston Channel.com 

• Ex-Officials Tell of Conflict Over Science and Politics New York Times

• State Department regrets passport delays AP

• Bush refuses to explain Libby order AP

Clinton Pardoned Marc Rich - Guess Who Was His Lawyer?
 

(CNN-March 2, 2001) -- Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff testified Thursday he believes prosecutors of billionaire financier Marc Rich "misconstrued the facts and the law" when they went after Rich on tax evasion charges.

The testimony from Lewis "Scooter" Libby, who represented Rich dating back to 1985 but stopped working for him in the spring of 2000...

www.buckfush.com

"John Edwards is on the campaign trail. He's now doing something called his 'Poverty Tour', where he's visiting people who have no money and no hope. In fact, his first stop today: John McCain's headquarters." --Jay Leno

Rock-The-Voter News

• A former first lady leaves us her legacy UT The Daily Texan

• Government eyes school bus seat belts AP

"Boy, you folks here in the audience, you're here on a great night. Everybody in the theater tonight will have their sentence commuted by President Bush, congratulations." --David Letterman

Biz-Tech News

• Oil prices above $73 a barrel Monsters and Critics.com, UK

• Halliburton board approves increased share buyback Reuters

• IPod listeners report lightning-strike injuries Kansas City Star
   

[On the new Seven Wonders of the World]: "After seeing the list, President Bush asked, 'Hey, what about Space Mountain?'" --Conan O'Brien

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Judge clears way for trial of only officer in Abu Ghraib case Baltimore Sun

• Envoy slammed by Bay lawyers Gulf Daily News, Bahrain

• Khadr sought $1500 bounty, US says Globe and Mail, Canada 

www.buckfush.com

Camps comfort kids with parents in Iraq

"Cartoons are windows into the human condition." - Editorial Cartoonist Doug Marlette, a Pulitzer Prize-winner, died Tuesday in an auto accident in Mississippi.

Go-F***-Yourself News

• Poll on Cheney -- Critical Mass on Impeachment? Institute for Public Accuracy
   

  Did you have a good time today?

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