Thursday edition - July 12, 2007




Republican Unity Fraying On Iraq War
Guardian Unlimited, UK - 7-12-07
WASHINGTON (AP) - With both houses of Congress debating war-related legislation, lawmakers on Thursday awaited the Bush

GOP blocks Senate move to lengthen troops’ time at home
Santa Fe New Mexican, NM - 7-12-07
WASHINGTON — For the fifth time this year, Senate Republicans on Wednesday effectively blocked a Democratic move to change US

Firefighters Rip Giuliani, Call Him 'Urban Legend'
CBS 4, FL - 7-12-07
NEW YORK The International Association of Firefighters has gone on the offensive against "America's Mayor" Rudy Giuliani, releasing a 13-minute video


White lies by a white liar.



Did you hear that $282,000,000 in US currency was stolen from Dar al-Salam Bank in Central Baghdad? "Osama Bin Laughin'" all the way to the bank. - Grant Gerver,




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Giant Badgers Invade Iraq


THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.



"Analogies were my favorite part of the SATs. I feel like we should do some tonight. ... President George W. Bush last week shocked many Americans by commuting a sentence: President George W. Bush this week shocked many Americans by completing a sentence." --Conan O'Brien



By Don Davis







Disturbing News

Republican 'Surge' Strategy Was No More Suck-cessful Than Bush's.



Titusville police say they have arrested Florida State Rep. Robert "Bob" Allen, (R) of Merrit Island, on second degree misdemeanor charges for solicitation for prostitution...Officers say they noticed Allen acting suspicious as he went in and out of the men's restroom 3 times. Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20.



impukement: unrelenting nausea caused by the failure of a governing body to impeach its traitorous leaders: the lack of impeachment proceedings against the president and vice president caused a strong feeling of impukement among the electorate.  - Grant Gerver,



Republican Shenanigans


Clinton Pardoned Marc Rich - Guess Who Was His Lawyer?

(CNN-March 2, 2001) -- Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff testified Thursday he believes prosecutors of billionaire financier Marc Rich "misconstrued the facts and the law" when they went after Rich on tax evasion charges.

The testimony from Lewis "Scooter" Libby, who represented Rich dating back to 1985 but stopped working for him in the spring of 2000...



"John Edwards is on the campaign trail. He's now doing something called his 'Poverty Tour', where he's visiting people who have no money and no hope. In fact, his first stop today: John McCain's headquarters." --Jay Leno


Rock-The-Voter News


"Boy, you folks here in the audience, you're here on a great night. Everybody in the theater tonight will have their sentence commuted by President Bush, congratulations." --David Letterman






Biz-Tech News


[On the new Seven Wonders of the World]: "After seeing the list, President Bush asked, 'Hey, what about Space Mountain?'" --Conan O'Brien


Bush-Prison-Torture News


Camps comfort kids with parents in Iraq



"Cartoons are windows into the human condition." - Editorial Cartoonist Doug Marlette, a Pulitzer Prize-winner, died Tuesday in an auto accident in Mississippi.


Go-F***-Yourself News


  Did you have a good time today?



Please support All Hat No Cattle


 Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More



Odd News




The carcass of a baby mammoth is examined in the Arctic city of Salekhard in this July 2, 2007 photo. Scientists said the frozen carcass of a 10,000-year-old baby mammoth has been unearthed in a remote northern Siberian region, a discovery they said could help studies of climate change. The 4-foot (1.2-meter) gray-and-brown carcass, discovered in May by a reindeer herder in the Yamal-Nenets region, has its trunk and eyes virtually intact and even some fur remaining, said Alexei Tikhonov, deputy director of the Russian Academy of Sciences' Zoological Institute. Photo/Sergei Cherkashin