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June 13, 2004 Sunday Edition

The Elephants at Play

GOP State Convention features flags, sanctimony, preaching ... and a little politics

Austin Chronicle, TX 6-11-04

…There are of course even more notorious GOP platform absurdities, including gun worship, anti-tax dogmatism, "American English," indignant snorts at all forms of environmentalism, thundering against hate crimes legislation, declarations that the U.S. is "a Christian nation," and so on…

Bush Asked for Vatican's Help on Political Issues, Report Says
New York Times, NY - 6-12-04
By DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK. n his recent trip to Rome, President Bush asked a top Vatican official to push American bishops to speak ...

Group Wants Christians To Fill South Carolina, Secede
KMGH, CO - Jun 10, 2004
A newly-formed group of Christian activists has begun plans to encourage up to 12,000 like-minded individuals to move to South Carolina. Their hope is to eventually withdraw that state from the United States ...

What Would Jesus Think?

"We really don't have leaders who speak as well as Ronald Reagan anymore. He had a simple direct way of telling you something. Like when he just came out and called the Soviet Union 'the evil empire' you know what he meant. Can you imagine Bush trying to do that? You know he'd screw it up, he'd say something like 'we have to defeat the medieval vampire.'" —Jay Leno

www.buckfush.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam-News

Insurgents and Islam Now Rulers of Fallouja Los Angeles Times
Suicide Attack Kills 12 in Iraq Washington Post, DC
Kidnapped American Sought in Saudi Arabia AP
Iraqi Kidnappers Kill Lebanese Hostage AP
Iraqi Deputy Foreign Minister Killed Washington Post
US plans to release another 650 held at Abu Ghraib USA Today
Sanchez let guards freely use interrogation methods Houston Chronicle, TX
U.S. General: Fallujah Goals Not Achieved AP
Army Policy Bars Interrogations by Private Contractors New York Times, NY
Interrogators Hired for Iraq Despite Ban AP
U.S. Kills 80 in 3-Week Afghan Offensive AP
Pakistani Troops Battle al-Qaida Fighters Near Afghan Border Voice of America, DC
Four killed in Kashmir hotel attack Al-Jazeera, Qatar
American Shot Dead in Saudi Capital Reuters
Two U.S. Soldiers Hurt in Helicopter Crash in Iraq Reuters
al-Qaida No. 2 Accuses U.S. in Audiotape AP

"I personally hold Blair more responsible for this war in Iraq than I do George W. Bush, and the reason is Blair knows better. Blair is not an idiot. What is he doing hanging around this guy?" -Filmmaker, MICHAEL MOORE, whose documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" slams President GEORGE W. BUSH for going to war in Iraq, saying he now wants to make a movie about British Prime Minister TONY BLAIR's role in the war.

What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush?

George is only dead from the neck up.

I'm Matt Mahoney and I approved this email

Matt Mahoney - Springfield, Ohio

Keep it goin' Lisa!!

Thanks for the joke Matt.

"According to the New York Times, last year White House lawyers concluded that President Bush could legally order interrogators to torture and even kill people in the interest of national security — so if that's legal, what the hell are we charging Saddam Hussein with?" —Jay Leno

Disturbing News

A Look Behind the 'Wire' At Guantanamo washingtonpost.com
Bosnian Serbs Admit Massacre of Muslims AP
Alzheimer's sufferer jailed, ordered to state care CNN
Italy Car Crash Kills Three U.S. Sailors AP
The Disability Lobby and Voting
Sniper shoots three in rural Southern California before being ... San Francisco Chronicle, CA
Students Found Apathetic About Politics AP

Crossword Puzzle

Hi again,

you might like that one here:

http://www.tmmnet.com/dubyacrossword.html

Take care!

Thomas

Thanks Thomas! I always look forward to the Sunday crossword puzzle!

"We are a badly damaged state, ruled today by a man who subsists off Reagan's most corrosive final gift to us all: It is the image that matters, and be damned to the truth." William Rivers Pitt Planet Reagan

"Attorney General John Ashcroft told Congress they shouldn't be asking him about the legality of the war until the war is over. And there's precedent for that — I think it's called the Nuremberg Trials." —Jay Leno

Biz/Tech News

German Spam Floods Inboxes Wired News
Comcast Slows Flow Of Spam Washington Post
Paprika recall expanded: possible contamination USA Today
Gateway Store Closure to Cut 250 Jobs eWeek

Good News

Mars Rovers Sniff Water, Reach New Sites Discovery Channel -

John Kerry News

Kerry Calls on Bush to Reverse Stem Cell Policy Reuters
Voters want Edwards as Dem VP pick: poll Chicago Sun Times, IL
Edwards raises $150000 for John Kerry in Estero event Bonita Daily News, FL
McCain rejects John Kerry's overtures for vice president - Helena Independent Record

Three World Leaders who did not attend Reagan's funeral

Republican Shenanigans

Document warns Guantanamo employees not to talk USATODAY.com
Bush Campaign: No Plans to Use Reagan in Ads Reuters

Why Did the Chicken cross the Road?

Coalition Provisional Authority:

The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton:

We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.

Muqtada al-Sadr:

The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

US Army Military Police:

We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.

Peshmerga:

The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

1st Cav:

The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately
detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.

Al Jazeera:

The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

Blackwater:

We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators:

Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

U.S. Marine Corps:

The chicken is dead

Seen here

Brahimi quits post as UN envoy in Iraq
Ha'aretz, Israel - 6-12-04
NEW YORK - Lakhdar Brahimi, the United Nations special envoy to Iraq, announced his resignation from the post at a meeting yesterday of the Security Council ...

Clinton's portrait is first by black artist
Springfield News Leader, MO - 6-13-04
By David Hammer. Little Rock — Simmie Knox, the first black artist to paint an official presidential portrait, is preparing to ...

Are there any republican black members of Congress?

www.noonedied.com

"Ever since Franklin Roosevelt, the U.S. has built up alliances in order to amplify its own power," he said. "But now we have alienated many of our closest allies, we have alienated their populations. We've all been increasingly appalled at how the relationships that we worked so hard to build up have simply been shattered by the current administration in the method it has gone about things." Jack F. Matlock Jr., who was appointed by Reagan as ambassador to the Soviet Union and retained in the post by President Bush's father during the final years of the Cold War

The Bad News: Another poor choice of friends by Reagan

The Good News: If you own one of these coins