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Wednesday edition - May 19, 2010
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Congress: US repeated 9/11 failures in Xmas plot
AP – Tue May 18, 5:17 pm ET
WASHINGTON - Despite a
top-to-bottom overhaul of the intelligence community after the
2001 terrorist attacks, security officials repeated some of
the same mistakes nearly a decade later and allowed a would-be
bomber to slip a board an airliner, congressional
investigators said Tuesday.
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Voters back anti-DC, anti-establishment candidates
AP – Wed May 19, 3:09 am ET
WASHINGTON – With the electorate's
intense anger reverberating across the country, this is all but certain:
It's an anti-Washington, anti-establishment year. And candidates with ties
to either better beware. |
Inhofe is protecting the oil
industry DURING an ongoing oil leak. Do Republicans have Alzheimer's or do they
think that we do?
The
disaster at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has been cleaned up and is building a
lieberry in Texas.-
Zing!
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
An
unspeakably cruel al-Qaida terrorism plot involving the World Cup has been
thwarted. They never would've pulled it off, though - the Geneva Convention has
long prohibited forcing Americans to watch the World Cup.-
Laugh Lines
Iraq Wants Their
Documents Back From US
Iraq's
national archive has asked the United States to return millions of historical
documents seized by U.S. troops in the mayhem that followed the U.S. invasion in
2003, along with its Jewish archive...Thousands of Jews once lived in Iraq but
the formation of Israel in 1948 prompted an aggressive government campaign to
displace them as Arab nationalism swept the Middle East. Iraqi sociologists
say only a few Jews remain in the country.
Iraq
security forces say they have detained an al Qaeda member suspected of planning
an attack on the World Cup in South Africa next month. The man has already
admitted that terror and destruction was his ultimate gooooaaalllll! - Jimmy
Fallon
Lilly White
Gazette
May 19, 2010
Goober
Incensed About Miss USA Contest
HOGBUTT, Mississippi – When told that an American of Lebanese extraction had won
the Miss USA crown, local xenophobic native bigot Dilbert McFuktard went
apoplectic and had to be sedated.
“That’s it. I can’t take it anymore," he said. "First an African president who
wasn’t even born in this country, and now an Arab Muslim Miss USA. I’m mad as
hell and I want my country back. Everybody knows this is a white Christian
country. We took it fair and square from the pagan heathens who were here when
we got here and then shut the door behind us. To make it even worse, she’s a
Lebanese. God meant for only opposite type relationships.”
When told that “Lebanese” was not the same as “lesbian”, McFuktard said “Oh …
well, never mind about that part then, I guess.”
Thanks to Richard, AHNC viewer
Disturbing News
"We have
as a guest tonight Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I’m going to ask the question that's
on everyone’s mind: 'As a bishop, do you always have to move diagonally?
–Craig Ferguson
Sarah Palin Goes
Redneck
By Matt Tiabbi/Rolling
Stone
...She one-ups
even George Bush in this respect. Bush was sincere in his respect for the
citizen’s right to craft important opinions about the world while drinking beer
and watching baseball, and that came across in his speeches — it was a big
reason for his success.
But Bush couldn’t have spent more than ten minutes in a dirty trailer in
Arkansas before signaling for the helicopter. The guy was just too used to being
around rich people, nice houses, cigarette boats full of sheiks and oil
executives, etc. Sarah Palin on the other hand really is the kind of person who
you can picture eating egg salad off a ping-pong table. That and her utterly
genuine stupidity and meanness can take her a long way — all by themselves, I
think these things can win the White House for her —
and it seems like she senses this on an animal/reptilian level.
State's Rights In
Action
You
boycott our state, we'll shut off your lights.
That's essentially the message
Arizona Corporation Commissioner Gary Pierce delivered to Los Angeles Mayor
Antonio Villaraigosa after the L.A. City Council voted to boycott Arizona in
protest over its new and controversial immigration law.
Republican-Shenanigans News
www.internetweekly.org
Democrat Win
An aide to the late
Democratic Rep. John Murtha
won a special election to fill the final months of his boss's term — a
nationally watched contest considered a potential bellwether for this fall's
midterm election.
In a tight race to the end, Mark Critz brushed back a strong challenge from Tim
Burns, a Republican businessman.
And tar is
washing up onto the beaches — big globs of tar. And people are saying, “Is that
going to ruin our summer at the beach?” No, of course not. You take the big
blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.- David Letterman
Rock-The-Voter News
Fewer Workers Working , Fewer
Taxes Paid
H&R Block Inc. said
Wednesday it will trim
400 jobs and has shut 400 underperforming locations as it seeks to reduce
costs.
The
BP-funded TV ads inviting tourists to come to Florida should hit the airwaves
about the same time the oil hits the beaches.-
Zing!
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
What Will CNN Do? Go Left or
Right?
Campbell Brown said Tuesday
that she's quitting her prime-time show on CNN primarily for one reason: Not
enough people are watching her...CNN's prime-time problems with Brown, Larry
King and Anderson Cooper have given rise to dozens of armchair program directors
who have published advice this spring. Now CNN's executives will have their
first shot at doing something new.
CNN/U.S. President Jon Klein said he respects Brown's decision and wishes her
well. "We
will announce our programming plans in the coming weeks," he said
Attorney
General Eric Holder has said he may sue Arizona for their new anti-immigration
law. Holder admitted he has not yet read the law. Hey, that didn’t stop Congress
from passing the health care reform bill. Nobody read that, either.- Jay
Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
In his
endorsement of her for Governor of California, Dick Cheney said " I believe Meg
Whitman can do for California what Ronald Reagan did for America." Yeah, that's
what some of us are afraid of.-
Laugh Lines
Go-F**k-Yourself News
You may be
too old to ride a motorcycle if you can feel your jowls flapping in the wind.-
Zing!
Only $164 to go!
Thank you Larry from NM and Mary
from NC!
Offline Donation -
Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
or
Lisa Casey
Apartado Postal 79
Santa Cruz, Guanacaste 5150
Costa Rica
Email
me
lisa@allhatnocattle.net
Odd News
To Help You Deflate Photo
Miss Michigan
Rima Fakih competes in the swimsuit portion of the 2010 Miss USA pageant at the
Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada May 16, 2010. Fakih was
later crowned Miss USA 2010. Photo/Steve Marcus
Peace.
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