Thursday edition - May 18, 2006
World opinion of US sinking
Split Over Interrogations
Bush's tax cuts will reduce Treasury revenue,
Will someone please arrest these people before they do anymore damage.
"Conservative Republicans are very worried that there's no way to keep track of these illegal aliens. Yeah, we can't keep track of them unless they start making phone calls." --Jay Leno
Iran rejects EU co-operation overture Business Day
From Clinton Aide to Carlyle Group Advisor
The United States could reduce illegal immigration from Mexico by helping its neighbor develop its vast oil resources, the former chief of staff for President Bill Clinton told an industry conference on Wednesday...McLarty is now president of Kissinger McLarty Associates, a consulting firm that includes former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. He is also senior adviser to the Carlyle Group.
"President Bush called for the National Guard to patrol the U.S./Mexican border. The guards will track down and find illegals. That's not their job. They're trained to defend our country -- not track down and find people. Let's be honest, the Guard couldn't even track down and find President Bush when he was in the National Guard." --Jay Leno
Get the Straight Jacket, Please
The Rev. Pat Robertson says God has told him
that storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.
The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network has told viewers of "The 700 Club" that the revelations came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.
EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT NSA SPYING* BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK
By Don Davis
Q: I’m as red-blooded American as they
come; ride a Harley, got “USA” tattooed on my forearm and ass. But I do
construction work for some foreigner who owns the local Seven-Eleven — is
calling this guy a problem?
A: Since the clowns doing “call pattern analysis” don’t know a Sikh from a Sheikh, you’re totally screwed, dude.
Click here for more!
Bush Makes Up Another Word!
"We want to thank all the dudes of dudesses of the snowboarders who are here." -- George W. Bush welcomed the U.S. Winter Olympic team at the White House, May 17, 2006
The ceremony wrapped up a three-day visit
to the nation's capital for the athletes, who thought they had seen and heard
everything possible about their Olympic adventure until Bush came up with "dudesses."
"That's a little different," snowboarder Kelly Clark said. "We don't really use that one too much."
Ethics Panel OKs Abramoff-Related Probe Houston Chronicle
DeLay Aide Heads to Private Sector Washington Post
President Bush to visit Yuma, Ariz. San Jose Mercury News
TortuRepublicans -- Grant Gerver
Interesting column from Robert Novak
Hastert, who served with Cheney in the House for two years (1987-88), let
the vice president have it in their private meeting. He said he trusted
his close friend Goss, who had performed well at the
nasty job of cleaning out an agency filled with critics of the President
and his policies.
"President Bush also said in his speech that immigrants have to learn English. The immigrants said, 'Hey, you first.'" --Jay Leno
Oh Joy, More Books by Misogynists!
Katie Couric may have
gotten a little too famous for her own comfort.
We hear the sweetheart of the broadcast rodeo is the target of several would-be biographers, including Ed Klein, who last left his hatchet in Hillary Clinton's skull
Stocks tumble as inflation fears become reality Pioneer Press, MN
While jury deliberates, Lay goes on trial in another fraud case San Jose Mercury News
Texas Takes Aim at 'Gas Pill' ABC News
Jobless claims jump Reuters
Meanwhile, Back in Mexico
Police enraged by the kidnapping of six
officers club unarmed detainees. A bloody battle between steelworkers and
police leaves two miners dead. Drug lords post the heads of decapitated
police on a fence to show who's in charge.
Less than two months before Mexicans elect their next president,
“In fact, earlier tonight, President Bush announced a new program that combines the NSA and illegal aliens in a guest listener program.” -- Jay Leno
"The other day in Florida, President Bush told his brother, Jeb, that he would make a great president. Then the president said, 'Any chance you can start next week?'" --Conan O'Brien
It's Time To Play Name That Toon!
Click here to e-mail your caption!
My mom would have wiped the floor with Teresa Heinz Kerry. -- Mary Cheney
Campaign Urges Cheney to Divest Halliburton Stock Gulf Coast Reconstruction Watch, NC
Letter: Cheney speech at LSU inappropriate
"Senator Hillary Clinton is being criticized because she recently called today's college kids 'lazy' and 'uninformed.' A spokesperson for college kids said, 'Whatever, lady from TV.'" --Conan O'Brien
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Mystery of Ben Nevis piano 'solved' Scotsman, United Kingdom
A baby flamingo keeps warm under it's mother's wing at the Cincinnati Zoo, Tuesday, May 16, 2006. (Photo/Tom Uhlman)