May 16  2003  Friday Zelda has returned from Ardmore, OK

Bah, Humbug
The Nation by Katha Pollitt 5-16-03

... Since we are talking about that thundering sultan of sanctimony Bill Bennett, high-stakes gambling will do quite nicely. In eleven books, including the mega-selling Book of Virtues, a PBS cartoon series on morality for kids, countless speeches at $50,000 a pop, a slew of op-eds and more face time on TV than the man who squeezes the Charmin, Bennett has made himself our Cato...
 

"There's the procedural problem for Bennett critics who hold that private behavior is private behavior and should no more justify the impeachment of Bill Bennett than of Bill Clinton. But we cannot shake off the special animus here. What some critics are saying is that Mr. Bennett is the nation's premier secular catechist of virtue, and that the bigger they come the harder they fall."-William F. Buckley, Jr.

Twin Towers at the Times
CounterPunch, CA - May 14, 2003
... And then there's ramblin gamblin morality man, Bill Bennett. ...many of those Washington big mouths who have legitimized Bennett's morality credentials, knew full well the whole sordid story and refused to report it.

Today's cartoon was inspired by Bill Bennett.   I took the above photo of Bill on the beach in Biloxi, Mississippi.  More photos of Bill in the fabulous Biloxi casinos to come.

Correction notice: I misspelled tentacles in yesterday's toon. I blame Bill Clinton.

WANTED:  Spokesperson, Will Train.

"Zelda and Lisa have lots in common but they disagree on some levels, as most, proud liberals are apt to do occasionally. They remain interesting. Zelda loves President Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe and Danny Glover. And Lisa just loves Brian Lamb. She is so twisted. I wish Lisa could be here with us on this trip, but she is busy Being Bill Bennett in Biloxi." - Anita Beer in Gusher's Lounge, Holiday Inn, Ardmore, OK

Click here for today's column WANTED: Spokesperson, Will Train.

Applications for All Hat No Cattle Spokesperson are being accepted.  State your case below.  Only famous people need apply.

 Zelda's Archives        Zelda's Mail Bag

Oklahoma town sorry to see Texas lawmakers go
Houston Chronicle, TX - 5-16-03
ARDMORE, Okla. - Come back! they said today down at City Hall, even before Texas'
AWOL lawmakers headed home. And next time bring your Republican colleagues! ...
       Fed search plane for Texas lawmakers after 'urgent plea' - Houston Chronicle
       Texas lawmakers' standoff continues - KLTV
       Texas lawmakers' standoff continues - News 14 Carolina

Texas Dems End Exile, Declare Victory
Newsday - 5-16-03
... The buses stopped at the Texas Welcome Center. Lawmakers got off and
greeted about a dozen Denton County Democratic Party supporters. ...
 

I'm Bushed.

MAIL BAG

SUBJECT: Your site

I enjoyed your web site.

My wife has a saying about pretentious women, that you might enjoy - " She's all fur coat and no knickers!", but then that is possibly to much for prudish Americans?

Alan Goswell
England

I like your wife Alan.  Thanks for writing.  Prudish Americans aren't allowed to view this site.  They're too busy anyway, watching old Jerry Lewis movies just like the French.

Say hi to the Queen for me.

SUBJECT: Your site

DON'T EVER STOP!!!!!

CrapCheck

I won't unless Ashcroft puts me in the pokey. -wink-

SUBJECT: The REAL Scarborough Country

I live in Scarborough's old congressional district too. It sucked when he took office and still sucked when he resigned. Your website nailed what we Pensacola people suffered thru under Scarborough. He talked the talk and even safely voted the right way on many environmental issues in a Republican controlled Congress but the bottom line is:

• he got big contributions from the very people who are polluting our area and the emissions are worse than ever. Allergy doctors are busy here. Thanks, Joe.

• our roads are death traps. We're number 1. Thanks for your attention to this matter, Joe.

• sewer system infrastructure is as rare as hen's teeth. Thank you, Joe.

• toxic waste site still uncleaned. Woo Hoo, Joe.

• high ozone clouds our skies and weakens our breathing.  Mucho Gracias, Joe.

• Pensacola, the REAL Scarborough Country, has the worst school system in the state. High five, Joe.

• We have no north-south highway connection to America. He could have tried to acquire federal $ to bring jobs here by a north-south four lane highway. Fist pump to you, Joe.

Anyone who doesn't think Joe Scarborough got a pass from the media coverage when that dead aide was found in his office must be living in a dream world. He got a talk show on MSNBC out of his notoriety. Come on. An aide was found DEAD in a recently resigned US Congressman's office and the media was covering that Condit guy instead?   Even the coroner had falsified info in his previous job and the Washington Post wasn't interested? The case is cold now. Great novels have been written with weaker plots.

Keep up the unique work and for reporting the facts through humor. I've already decided.

Joseph

Pensacola Beach, Florida

I feel your pain, literally.  While I was busy following Bill Bennett in Biloxi for the past two days, I was breathing that fresh oxygen being pumped through the casino vents.  Sheer heaven.  It was orgasmic. I didn't know my nostrils could do what they did.

Within a few hours after returning to the REAL Scarborough Country ( I love your phrase) I was sneezing, coughing and short of breath.  Yeah, thanks, thanks so much for Scarborough Country, Joe.

Zelda Morgan's Mailbag

Senator Lott promised to "throw himself on the tracks" (to get the tax break back). (CNN-5/15/03)
Now if we can just get a few more Repugnicants to follow his lead.
Also, the news item states: Enron and MCI are trying to get credits and refunds from the IRS for tax returns they filed for revenue that did not, in fact, exist. Thanks, Bush Hog. Wonder how much Ken Boy contributes.

Ron Freeman

I love the trains. Since I used to be a frequent flyer on American Airlines, I prefer the trains now. I would love to be riding on the train when the GOPigs are laying down on the tracks.

Andersen Accounting -- the GOP drug of choice -- proved it is easier to steal $100 from ten million people, than it is to steal $10 million from 100 people.

The Republican Congress from 1994 on, a few Democrats from new England, and Presidiot Bush all have been driving the get-away cars and holding the doors open to the vaults for the corporate criminals.

We may have a free market economy but capitalism is not our form of government.

Create Peace!
ZeldaM
 

Where're Osama, Saddam and all those unused weapons of mass destruction?  - Lisa