It is so much fun watching Republicans beat each other up, shoot themselves in the foot, get historical facts ass backwards, say torture isn't torture and then they wonder why only 21% of Americans consider themselves Republicans. Republicans are just like George W. Bush. They can't admit a mistake.
"And in a
move that has stunned Washington, D.C., longtime Pennsylvania Republican Senator
Arlen Specter has switched parties. He is the first Republican senator to switch
teams since Senator Larry Craig, I guess." --Jay Leno
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam Endangering Our Troops
A series of civil lawsuits against defense contractors KBR and its former parent company Halliburton claims the companies endangered the health of U.S. troops and contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan by unsafely burning massive amounts of garbage on U.S. bases.
"The White House was on lockdown because a small plane flew into restricted airspace. Say what you want, but Dick Cheney would have shot that thing down." --Jimmy Fallon
Cheney Links Swine Flu to Al Qaeda
Disturbing News
"Unemployment is continually rising,
foreclosures are through the roof. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that
said, 'If this van's a-rockin', it's because we live here now.'" --Bill
Maher
"This is,
I mean, this is exciting. Air Force One was in New York City and apparently
nobody knew. They didn't make the call. Hello! Air Force One comes to New York
City and wants to take some pictures. They send it right up and start buzzing
New York City. I mean, isn't this something you would expect from the Bush
Administration?" --David Letterman
Republican-Shenanigans News
"Dick Cheney is all over television
defending this. He said yesterday, he would be happy to undergo waterboarding
himself, but his heart might rust." --Bill Maher Rock-The-Voter News
"As you
know, a big holiday is coming next week here in Los Angeles and Mexico: Sicko de
Mayo." --Jay Leno
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
"In economic news, ExxonMobil's profit last year was $45 billion. In second place was the company that makes those foreclosure signs." --David Letterman
Royalty Tortures
A videotape of a heinous
torture session is delaying the ratification of a civil nuclear deal between the
United Arab Emirates and the United States, senior U.S. officials familiar with
the case said.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Republican Senator Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004, we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country [on screen: a map of 2004, showing most states as red states. The next map, from 2008, showed more blue states than there previously were]. Republicans tried to fight it off, but their white cells weren't strong enough, although they were very, very white [on screen: photos of four prominent Republicans]. Now, we should have seen this coming, folks. Specter was exhibiting the classic symptoms of donkey flu: mild fever, and being 21 points behind in Republican primary polls. I want to warn Maine Republican Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins to take every possible precaution. Donkey flu is highly contagious and virtually incurable. Only one man has ever beaten it, but clearly, it took a horrible toll [on screen: a photo of Independent Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut]." --Stephen Colbert
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"See all
those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? For
the swine flu. Suddenly Michael Jackson is not so crazy, huh? Yeah! I think we
owe Michael an apology." --Jay Leno
Health Update
Thank you all for your get well wishes.
I'm surprised I was able to post a new edition today considering I feel so awful, but I just couldn't sleep last night and today's edition is the end product. I hope it wasn't too god-awful. My judgment is highly impaired! lol
35 donations to date Thank you Matt and BJ!
One time donation
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News To Help You Deflate Photo
In this photo
released by Goodyear, Tyler Shoff, 15, of Akron, Ohio, crosses the finish-line
beating NASCAR driver Greg Biffle by more than three car lengths at the Goodyear
Fuel Max Challenge, a quarter-mile soap box derby race held at Derby Downs, site
of the All-American Soap Box Derby, in Akron, Ohio, on Wednesday, April 29,
2009. Shoff, the 2007 Stock Div. Soap Box Derby World Champion, and Biffle a
NASCAR Tuck Series and Busch Series champion raced in identical cars, except,
Shoff's car was equipped with new Goodyear Assurance Fuel Max tires.
Peace.
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