Wednesday edition - April 2, 2008




Pentagon Releases Memo on Harsh Tactics
The Associated Press - 4-2-08

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Pentagon made public a now-defunct legal memo that approved the use of harsh interrogation techniques against terror suspects, saying that President Bush's wartime authority trumps any international ban on torture.

Profits realistic, oil execs insist
Houston Chronicle - 4-2-08
WASHINGTON - Oil company executives expressed sympathy for consumers hurt by high energy costs Tuesday but defended their companies' record profits.

Heavy Troop Deployments Are Called Major Risk
Washington Post - 4-2-08
Tyson Senior Army and Marine Corps leaders said yesterday that the increase of more than 30000 troops in Iraq and Afghanistan has put unsustainable levels of stress on US ground forces and has put their readiness to fight other conflicts


It's been "April Fools" everyday since 2000.  - Grant Gerver,




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Daddy Issues, War Lust in Oliver Stone's 'W'

Controversial Filmmaker's Early Script Depicts President Bush's Hard-Partying Youth and Feuds With His Father

Though the movie is scheduled for release in 2009, there is a chance that it might be pushed up to come out before the November election, say insiders.

The movie, which starts filming this month with "No Country for Old Men" actor Josh Brolin playing Bush, paints a humanistic portrait of the president along with plenty of embarrassing anecdotes from his life story, judging by a copy of an early screenplay obtained by



"On April Fool's Day, the biggest joke of all is being played on American families by Big Oil." Rep. Edward Markey after top executives of the country's five biggest oil companies argued that record fuel prices are not their fault and the oil companies' huge profits are in line with other industries.





Disturbing News


The Air Waves Are Private


A federal judge has ordered Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott to pay House GOP Leader John Boehner roughly $1.1 million in legal expenses, interest and damages to end a lawsuit filed after McDermott distributed tapes of an illegally intercepted phone call between Boehner and other Republicans.

Monday's decision by U.S. District Court Judge Thomas F. Hogan ends 10 years of litigation between Boehner and McDermott, who contended the First Amendment protected his distribution of the tape he got from a Florida couple who picked up Boehner's cell phone conversation on a radio scanner.



The ONE Prediction St. McCain DID Get Right

By Don Davis



"But, see, I tell you - you know what's interesting? He's not a bowler, obviously. And Barack Obama made the typical mistake a lot of rookie bowlers make. He bowled sober. See, you never do that." --Jay Leno


Republican Shenanigans

Meanwhile, Back In The U.S. House of Representatives


The House endorsed a resolution Tuesday that suggests the Russian government might have had a hand in the 2006 radiation poisoning death of a Russian dissident.



"Well, in a stunning announcement, Pennyslvania Senator Bob Casey Jr., who had said he would remain neutral, because he's a Democrat, has endorsed Barack Obama. He said he endorsed because of his four young daughters told him they wanted Barack for president. It also explains his choice for vice president -- Hannah Montana" --Jay Leno


Rock-The-Voter News

A Million Dollar Mansion


Trinity United Church of Christ is building Barack Obama's controversial former pastor a million-dollar Tinley Park home complete with an elevator, whirlpool, butler's pantry, circular driveway and four-car garage, building plans show.



"My take on it is a lot of Senator Obama's supporters want to end this race because they don't want people to keep voting. That's just the opposite of what I believe. We want people to vote." Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton saying supporters of her rival are discouraging people from voting by urging her to drop out of the tight race





Biz-Tech News

Americans Might Want To Delay Visiting the Philippines


The U.S. Embassy warned its citizens Tuesday that "extremist elements" planned to kidnap Americans and other foreigners in a southern Philippine city where U.S. counterterrorism troops have been deployed.





"Well, again, I don't take anything for granted, but hopefully with Pennsylvania's help, she will be our next president, and yes, I do think she'll be a better president." Chelsea Clinton, when asked in Allentown, Pa., if she thought her mother would be a better president than her father



Bush-Prison-Torture News



"President Bush threw out the first pitch at the Nationals game. ... He stayed and then left in the 7th inning and I thought, 'Great, at least he has an exit strategy for that.'" --David Letterman



Go-F***-Yourself News


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Odd News



A WestJet guest lies in an overhead cabin. Continuing its irregular tradition of April Fools' Day press releases, WestJet Airlines Ltd offered passengers a small "sleeper cabin" in its planes' overhead luggage bins on Tuesday, available for a modest extra charge of $12
(5.9 pounds). Photo/MARKETWIRE PHOTO/WestJet