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Wednesday edition - April 2, 2008
It's been "April Fools" everyday since 2000. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Daddy Issues, War Lust in Oliver Stone's 'W'
Though the movie is
scheduled for release in 2009,
there is a chance that it might be pushed up to come out before the November
election, say insiders.
"On April Fool's Day, the biggest joke of all is being played on American families by Big Oil." — Rep. Edward Markey after top executives of the country's five biggest oil companies argued that record fuel prices are not their fault and the oil companies' huge profits are in line with other industries.
Disturbing News
The Air Waves Are Private
A federal judge has ordered Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott to pay House GOP Leader John Boehner roughly $1.1 million in legal expenses, interest and damages to end a lawsuit filed after McDermott distributed tapes of an illegally intercepted phone call between Boehner and other Republicans. Monday's decision by U.S. District Court Judge Thomas F. Hogan ends 10 years of litigation between Boehner and McDermott, who contended the First Amendment protected his distribution of the tape he got from a Florida couple who picked up Boehner's cell phone conversation on a radio scanner.
The ONE Prediction St. McCain DID Get Right
"But, see, I tell you - you know what's interesting? He's not a bowler, obviously. And Barack Obama made the typical mistake a lot of rookie bowlers make. He bowled sober. See, you never do that." --Jay Leno
Republican Shenanigans
Meanwhile, Back In The U.S. House of Representatives
The House
endorsed a resolution Tuesday that
suggests the Russian government might have had a hand in the 2006 radiation
poisoning death of a Russian dissident.
"Well, in a stunning announcement, Pennyslvania Senator Bob Casey Jr., who had said he would remain neutral, because he's a Democrat, has endorsed Barack Obama. He said he endorsed because of his four young daughters told him they wanted Barack for president. It also explains his choice for vice president -- Hannah Montana" --Jay Leno
Rock-The-Voter News
A Million Dollar Mansion
Trinity United Church of Christ is building Barack Obama's controversial former pastor a million-dollar Tinley Park home complete with an elevator, whirlpool, butler's pantry, circular driveway and four-car garage, building plans show.
"My take on it is a lot of Senator Obama's supporters want to end this race because they don't want people to keep voting. That's just the opposite of what I believe. We want people to vote." — Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton saying supporters of her rival are discouraging people from voting by urging her to drop out of the tight race
Biz-Tech News
Americans Might Want To Delay Visiting the Philippines
The U.S. Embassy warned its citizens Tuesday that "extremist elements" planned to kidnap Americans and other foreigners in a southern Philippine city where U.S. counterterrorism troops have been deployed.
"Well, again, I don't take anything for granted, but hopefully with Pennsylvania's help, she will be our next president, and yes, I do think she'll be a better president." — Chelsea Clinton, when asked in Allentown, Pa., if she thought her mother would be a better president than her father
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"President
Bush threw out the first pitch at the Nationals game. ... He stayed and then
left in the 7th inning and I thought, 'Great, at least he has an exit strategy
for that.'" --David Letterman
Go-F***-Yourself News
I hope you had a good time today Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Odd News
A WestJet
guest lies in an overhead cabin. Continuing its irregular tradition of April
Fools' Day press releases, WestJet Airlines Ltd offered passengers a small
"sleeper cabin" in its planes' overhead luggage bins on Tuesday, available for a
modest extra charge of $12
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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