Tuesday edition - April 15, 2008






Hillary Clinton drinks to NAFTA?
Los Angeles Times, CA - 4-15-08
A loyal Ticket reader named Christopher points out a humorous little sidelight to the rowdy political charges of recent days in the Democratic race for...


Oops of the Day 1: Stephen Hadley, US National Security Adviser
Shanghaiist, China - 4-15-08
Looks like Stephen Hadley, President Bush's National Security advisor, can't tell the difference between Tibet and Nepal. In this interview with George

Healthcare system unprepared for aging boomers, study finds
Los Angeles Times - 4-15-08
The federal report predicts shortages in medical workers, particularly those certified in geriatrics. California's situation is particularly dire.


"The number two man in Al Qaeda in iraq, terrorist mastermind Abu al-Masri, is dead. He is dead. He reportedly died of natural causes. Died of natural causes. That's when you know the war has been going on a long time. Okay? When your enemies just start dying of natural causes!" --Jay Leno




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Quagmire Update


A series of conflicts with insurgent groups along Iran's borders may be impelling Tehran to back its own allies in Iraq in what it regards as a proxy war with the U.S., according to security experts and officials in the U.S., Iran and Iraq.



"A former Pentagon official said this week that before the start of the war in Iraq, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld gave the Bush administration a list of horribles, things he believed could go wrong, which the Bush administration apparently mistook for a to-do list." --Amy Poehler




Disturbing News

Republican + Open Mouth = Racist


Republican Rep. Geoff Davis apologizing to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Monday after referring to him as "that boy."

Addressing a Republican gathering Saturday night, the Kentucky lawmaker said, "That boy's finger does not need to be on the button." Davis was talking about political and national security issues at an annual GOP dinner.



"This week in San Diego, a group of openly gay Republicans are holding their national convention. Openly gay republicans. Yeah. The gay convention is just like the regular convention, except instead of superdelegates, they have super fabulous delegates." --Conan O'Brien





Republican Shenanigans


"You know they had hearings this week, about Iraq, ... with General Petraeus, and John McCain had another senior moment, where he couldn't remember who the Sunnis are, the Shiites. I'm beginning to worry about this guy. They asked him afterwards if this would affect his presidential campaign, and he said, 'I'm running for President?'" --Bill Maher


Love Is In The Air


Jenna Bush will wear a "simple and elegant" wedding gown designed by Oscar de la Renta at her May 10 wedding: organza with embroidery, matte beading and a small train -- and yet "still casual." But don't expect any pictures beforehand: Fiance and "major traditionalist" Henry Hager doesn't want to see the dress until she walks down the aisle.




Rock-The-Voter News


"All the candidates where there, and while the media was focusing on them and them asking the questions, Senator Mel Martinez of Florida said to Senator John Thune of South Dakota, 'We could be naked juggling, and no one would notice,' that's what was said. 'We could be naked, and nobody would notice.' And Senator Larry Craig said, 'I would.'" --Jay Leno




Biz-Tech News

Halliburton Update


Federal prosecutors say a former employee of a Halliburton subsidiary conspired with a Kuwaiti businessman to cheat the U.S. military out of millions of dollars.


Bush-Prison-Torture News


"According to his tax return last year, Vice President Cheney donated $166,000 to charity. ... Yeah, most of the money went to Cheney's favorite holiday charity, Coal for Tots." --Conan O'Brien

Go-F***-Yourself News



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Odd News



A rare white albino alligator is seen during a photocall at the 'Serengeti' Safari park in the northern German village of Hodenhagen April 2, 2008. The 14 year-old albino alligator (Alligator mississppiensis), named 'White Diamond', was born in Louisiana in the U.S. and grew up at the St. Augustin-Alligator Farm in Florida. The only albino alligator in Europe, according to the organizer, is part of a traveling reptile show 'Land der Reptilien' running at the Serengeti Safari park until April 27, 2008.
Photo/Christian Charisius