Monday edition - April 14, 2008

 

 

 

 

Pope Won't Attend White House Dinner
The Associated Press - Apr 12, 2008
Guess who's not coming to dinner? Pope Benedict XVI. President Bush and his wife, Laura, will host a White House dinner in honor of the..

 

 The pope's long, winding road to the White House
Los Angeles Times, CA -4-14-08
Buried in the files of the Secret Archives of the Vatican, there is a report from 1853... A Protestant woman entered the church. Asked why she was there, she candidly answered that she wanted to check if it were true that Pope Pius IX's officials had horns on their heads.

Huge crowd expected to greet pope at White House on Wednesday
International Herald Tribune, France - 4-14-08
A crowd of up to 12,000 is due at the White House on Wednesday morning for the pope's official, pomp-filled arrival ceremony. It will feature the US and Holy


 

I'm losing faith. I respectfully request that George W. Bush go land on that aircraft carrier again.- Zing!

 


 

 


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Iran Missile Update

 

According to reports, new satellite photos have revealed Iran’s secret long-range ballistic missile launch site. It has been suspected for quite some time that Iran has been developing these missiles, which will be able to hit far-reaching targets throughout Europe.
 


 

Well, a new report says – from the Associated Press – says that the senior administration officials, the Bush Administration officials, met regularly in the White House to discuss and approve specific torture techniques. All the heavy-hitters were there: Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell and Ashcroft and Tenet. Everybody but Bush himself. They left him with a sitter. - Bill Maher

 


 


 

Disturbing News


Valerie Plame Update

 

Two people at the center of the disclosure of a CIA officer’s identity will join a panel to discuss censorship and other media concerns.

Valerie Plame Wilson, the former CIA officer whose identity was disclosed in 2003, and Judith Miller, the former New York Times reporter who went to jail rather than disclose her source...

 


 

 


 

I tell you, between gasoline prices and the mortgage foreclosures, people are hurting. And you know who finally noticed this? John McCain. [He changed his position on people losing their homes from his original “Drop dead” to a new policy called “Go F**ck Yourself-Plus.” - Bill Maher

 


Republican Shenanigans


 


Holy Christ! Jesus Backs Up Obama on ‘Small Towns’

By Don Davis

 


Rock-The-Voter News

 


 

Elton John had a big fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, and he scolded America. He said, “Hillary’s campaign is hindered by the misogynist attitudes of Americans.” Then he launched into his big hit, “The Bitch is Back.” - Bill Maher

 


For Political Parody, SNL Returns to its Roots

By Don Davis


 



 

Never play a sport in public that you suck at. To connect with Pennsylvania's blue-collar voters, Barack Obama went bowling and scored a 37. And the right-wing had a field day. Joe Scarborough said he bowls like a four-year-old. And Ann Coulter offered to loan him one of her balls. But, you know who's a good bowler? George Bush. His specialty is pre-emptive strikes. - Bill Maher

 


 


 

 

Biz-Tech News

 


 

Have you seen that Olympic Torch trying to get home to China?  The Olympic Torch having a very hard time making it to China. Here’s an idea: why don’t we attach it to one of our manufacturing jobs. - Bill Maher

 


 

 


Bush's Yes Man Can't Find Anyone To Say YES To

 

 Alberto R. Gonzales, like many others recently unemployed, has discovered how difficult it can be to find a new job. Mr. Gonzales, the former attorney general, who was forced to resign last year, has been unable to interest law firms in adding his name to their roster, Washington lawyers and his associates said in recent interviews.
 


Bush-Prison-Torture News

 


 

We're not paying for this war as we fight it. We are paying for this war on credit. Bush says he's a big tax-cutter. But he's not a tax-cutter. He's a guy who's going to raise your taxes far into the future when he's on his ranch. – Bill Maher

 


 


 


Scooter Libby Update

 

Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Jr. will not fight to keep his law license in Pennsylvania.

Libby was disbarred by Washington, D.C., courts last month over his perjury conviction in the CIA leak case.


 


Go-F***-Yourself News

 



 

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Odd News


 

 

In this photo released by the Miami Beach Guitar Festival, guitar maker George Marlin strums on his Big Foot creation at the Miami Beach Guitar Festival Sunday, April 13, 2008, in Miami Beach. The three-day festival that ends Sunday, attracted guitar makers, musicians and guitar collectors from around the United States. According to the National Association of Music Merchandisers, there are 30 million active guitar players in the America, accounting for more than $1.5 billion in guitar sales annually.
Photo/Miami Beach Guitar Festival, Andy Newman

 

Peace.