Monday edition - April 14, 2008

I'm losing faith. I respectfully request that George W. Bush go land on that aircraft carrier again.- Zing!

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 4,032 AP

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Mass grave discovered in Iraq CNN 

• 4 Dead, 6 Wounded in Baghdad Bombing Voice of America

• 11 policemen, two British troops killed in Afghanistan AFP

• Kidnapped CBS Journalist Freed In Iraq CBS News

• Iraq fires 1300 police and soldiers in south Reuters India

• Fighting resumes in Baghdad's Sadr City Reuters UK

• US Envoy to Iraq Says New Embassy Ready The Associated Press

• Israel snubs Carter, declines security help Reuters

• First Saddam, then Al-Qaeda, now Iran motivates US war in Iraq AFP

Iran Missile Update

According to reports, new satellite photos have revealed Iran’s secret long-range ballistic missile launch site. It has been suspected for quite some time that Iran has been developing these missiles, which will be able to hit far-reaching targets throughout Europe.
 

Well, a new report says – from the Associated Press – says that the senior administration officials, the Bush Administration officials, met regularly in the White House to discuss and approve specific torture techniques. All the heavy-hitters were there: Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell and Ashcroft and Tenet. Everybody but Bush himself. They left him with a sitter. - Bill Maher

Disturbing News

• Last Teen Accused In Gang Beating Out Of Jail The Ledger, FL 

Valerie Plame Update

Two people at the center of the disclosure of a CIA officer’s identity will join a panel to discuss censorship and other media concerns.

Valerie Plame Wilson, the former CIA officer whose identity was disclosed in 2003, and Judith Miller, the former New York Times reporter who went to jail rather than disclose her source...

I tell you, between gasoline prices and the mortgage foreclosures, people are hurting. And you know who finally noticed this? John McCain. [He changed his position on people losing their homes from his original “Drop dead” to a new policy called “Go F**ck Yourself-Plus.” - Bill Maher

Republican Shenanigans

• Rice Denies North Korea Nuclear Arms Issue Resolved Bloomberg

• Bush Scolds Congress on Colombia Trade The Associated Press 

• Alan Keyes to announce break with GOP in Hazleton, PA

• State's gay Republicans fine with McCain Seattle Post Intelligencer

• McCain More Conservative Than His Image The Associated Press 

• McCain backs shield law for reporters USA Today

Holy Christ! Jesus Backs Up Obama on ‘Small Towns’

Rock-The-Voter News

• Barack Obama goes on the attack; zings Hillary Clinton on guns Los Angeles Times

• Clinton keeps cutting Obama on flub New York Daily News

• Most voters disagree with Obama comment Boston Globe

Elton John had a big fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, and he scolded America. He said, “Hillary’s campaign is hindered by the misogynist attitudes of Americans.” Then he launched into his big hit, “The Bitch is Back.” - Bill Maher

For Political Parody, SNL Returns to its Roots

Never play a sport in public that you suck at. To connect with Pennsylvania's blue-collar voters, Barack Obama went bowling and scored a 37. And the right-wing had a field day. Joe Scarborough said he bowls like a four-year-old. And Ann Coulter offered to loan him one of her balls. But, you know who's a good bowler? George Bush. His specialty is pre-emptive strikes. - Bill Maher

Biz-Tech News

• Oil Prices Rose Above $111 a Barrel The Associated Press

• MOl, Exxon Mobil to start joint exploration in Hungary MarketWatch

• Delta-Northwest merger said to be close CNNMoney.com

• Cleveland, Costa Rica strike import deal BusinessWeek

• Dollar Declines Against Euro as Wachovia Posts Unexpected Loss Bloomberg

Have you seen that Olympic Torch trying to get home to China?  The Olympic Torch having a very hard time making it to China. Here’s an idea: why don’t we attach it to one of our manufacturing jobs. - Bill Maher

Bush's Yes Man Can't Find Anyone To Say YES To

 Alberto R. Gonzales, like many others recently unemployed, has discovered how difficult it can be to find a new job. Mr. Gonzales, the former attorney general, who was forced to resign last year, has been unable to interest law firms in adding his name to their roster, Washington lawyers and his associates said in recent interviews.
 

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• More Gitmo Trial Boycotts Loom The Associated Press

We're not paying for this war as we fight it. We are paying for this war on credit. Bush says he's a big tax-cutter. But he's not a tax-cutter. He's a guy who's going to raise your taxes far into the future when he's on his ranch. – Bill Maher

Scooter Libby Update

Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Jr. will not fight to keep his law license in Pennsylvania.

Libby was disbarred by Washington, D.C., courts last month over his perjury conviction in the CIA leak case.

Go-F***-Yourself News

• Supporters, protesters welcome Cheney Grand Junction Free Press, Colorado 

• Cheney's Jet Blows Media Equipment Away cbs4denver.com

Did you have a good time today?

Please support All Hat No Cattle

Offline Donation

Lisa Casey

PO Box 88

Ashford. AL 36312

Click here to e-mail a comment