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TGIF/Weekend edition - April 11-13, 2008
"Politics is getting more and more interesting now. According to the insiders, Condoleezza Rice has been actively lobbying to be John McCain's vice presidential candidate. That would be interesting, don't you think? Condoleezza Rice, John McCain. Kind of like ebony and ornery." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Wiretap Could Have Prevented 9-11?
Two weeks after Attorney
General Michael Mukasey tearfully told a San Francisco audience the Sept. 11
terrorist attacks could have been prevented if the government had been able to
wiretap a phone call from Afghanistan,
the Justice Department is still trying to explain what he meant, and a
congressional leader is demanding answers.
"A lot of Democrats are asking President Bush to boycott the opening ceremonies to the upcoming Summer Olympics. Well, good luck with that. Boycott it? With the flags, the parades, the balloons? That's Bush's favorite part." --Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"Speaking of disgraced New York governors, Eliot Spitzer and his wife made their first public appearance yesterday. Oh, man. How uncomfortable is that? They went into the NYU Medical Center. Apparently, she's having him castrated." --Jay Leno
Arson?
Terre Haute fire officials are investigating an early Friday morning fire that happened in downtown Terre Haute, destroying Senator Hillary Clinton's Terre Haute Campaign Headquarters.
Republican Shenanigans
Adios Crawford, Hello Dallas
"Now
that's my phone buzzing there. I don't want you to think I'm getting fresh or
anything." --Barack Obama, posing for a picture with supporters in Indiana,
when he apparently felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket, against which
one woman was closely pressed
Rock-The-Voter News
Oprah and the Obama Effect?
The results of a March 26, 2008, AOL Television popularity poll of television hosts reveal Americans may now embrace Ellen DeGeneres over Oprah by a wide margin. Forty-six percent of the 1.35 million people who participated in the poll said the daytime talk show host that “made their day” was Ellen, compared with only 19 percent who chose Oprah.
"A new TV
commercial for Hillary Clinton says she has, quote, a spine of steel. A spine of
steel. When he heard this, John McCain said, 'Oh yeah, well, I've got a titanium
hip'" --Conan O'Brien
Biz-Tech News
"In a nationwide survey just released today, high school seniors, on the average, answered correctly only 48% of the questions about personal finance and economics. Only 48%. But that's still 10% better than Bush's economic team." --Jay Leno
Who's Watching The Fort?
Sensitive and stolen U.S. military items are being sold on eBay and Craigslist, according to a report by the Government Accountability Office.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Cheney - The Untouchable
Bush administration
officials from
Vice President Dick Cheney on down signed off on using harsh interrogation
techniques against suspected terrorists after asking the Justice Department
to endorse their legality, The Associated Press has learned.
Eewww: Cheney and Naked Women In The Same Sentence
He shot his hunting
partner, but Vice President
Dick Cheney apparently doesn't fly fish with naked women. Go-F***-Yourself News
"All three
presidential candidates appeared on 'American Idol.' It was interesting. Randy
Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell looked at them and said, 'Wait, there's a
black guy, a woman and a cranky white guy. You stole our formula!'" --Conan
O'Brien
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Odd News
American
Olympic medalists Amanda Beard, left, Natalie Coughlin, right, and Michael
Phelps pose with in new, high technology Speedo 'LZR Racer' swimsuits they will
wear during the Beijing Summer Olympics this summer, during a news conference
introducing the suits in New York, in this Feb. 12, 2008 photo. Speedo's new 'LZR
Racer' already has taken a huge chunk out of the record book, less than two
months since its coming out.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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