TGIF/Weekend edition - April 11-13, 2008




Obama, Clinton cosponsor measure saying McCain can run
The Hill, DC - 4-11-08
To counter the views of some pundits, a group of senators, including Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama (Ill.) and Hillary...


Cheney: McCain towers over Obama
Baltimore Sun -4-11-08
While others were consumed with detecting what’s actually reflected in those fly-fishing sunglasses of Vice President Dick Cheney - hand on a fly rod, not a naked lady...

Bush Stands By Petraeus; New Showdowns With Hill Loom
U.S. News & World Report, DC - 4-11-08
David Petraeus "all the time he needs" in Iraq before proceeding with further reductions in US troop levels. Bush also said, as the CBS Evening News


"Politics is getting more and more interesting now. According to the insiders, Condoleezza Rice has been actively lobbying to be John McCain's vice presidential candidate. That would be interesting, don't you think? Condoleezza Rice, John McCain. Kind of like ebony and ornery." --Jay Leno





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

Wiretap Could Have Prevented 9-11?


Two weeks after Attorney General Michael Mukasey tearfully told a San Francisco audience the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks could have been prevented if the government had been able to wiretap a phone call from Afghanistan, the Justice Department is still trying to explain what he meant, and a congressional leader is demanding answers.


"A lot of Democrats are asking President Bush to boycott the opening ceremonies to the upcoming Summer Olympics. Well, good luck with that. Boycott it? With the flags, the parades, the balloons? That's Bush's favorite part." --Jay Leno







Disturbing News


"Speaking of disgraced New York governors, Eliot Spitzer and his wife made their first public appearance yesterday. Oh, man. How uncomfortable is that? They went into the NYU Medical Center. Apparently, she's having him castrated." --Jay Leno






Terre Haute fire officials are investigating an early Friday morning fire that happened in downtown Terre Haute, destroying Senator Hillary Clinton's Terre Haute Campaign Headquarters.


Republican Shenanigans



Adios Crawford, Hello Dallas

"I guess I can announce it in front of the press," Mrs. Bush said at a National Park Foundation event at Williams Preparatory School in Dallas. "President Bush and I will be moving back to Dallas, which is where we lived" before Mr. Bush was elected governor in 1994, she said.



"Now that's my phone buzzing there. I don't want you to think I'm getting fresh or anything." --Barack Obama, posing for a picture with supporters in Indiana, when he apparently felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket, against which one woman was closely pressed



Rock-The-Voter News

Oprah and the Obama Effect?


The results of a March 26, 2008, AOL Television popularity poll of television hosts reveal Americans may now embrace Ellen DeGeneres over Oprah by a wide margin. Forty-six percent of the 1.35 million people who participated in the poll said the daytime talk show host that “made their day” was Ellen, compared with only 19 percent who chose Oprah.





"A new TV commercial for Hillary Clinton says she has, quote, a spine of steel. A spine of steel. When he heard this, John McCain said, 'Oh yeah, well, I've got a titanium hip'" --Conan O'Brien




Biz-Tech News



"In a nationwide survey just released today, high school seniors, on the average, answered correctly only 48% of the questions about personal finance and economics. Only 48%. But that's still 10% better than Bush's economic team." --Jay Leno




Who's Watching The Fort?


Sensitive and stolen U.S. military items are being sold on eBay and Craigslist, according to a report by the Government Accountability Office.


Bush-Prison-Torture News

Cheney - The Untouchable


Bush administration officials from Vice President Dick Cheney on down signed off on using harsh interrogation techniques against suspected terrorists after asking the Justice Department to endorse their legality, The Associated Press has learned.

The officials also took care to insulate President Bush from a series of meetings where CIA interrogation methods, including waterboarding, which simulates drowning, were discussed and ultimately approved.


Eewww: Cheney and Naked Women In The Same Sentence


 He shot his hunting partner, but Vice President Dick Cheney apparently doesn't fly fish with naked women.

Go-F***-Yourself News


"All three presidential candidates appeared on 'American Idol.' It was interesting. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell looked at them and said, 'Wait, there's a black guy, a woman and a cranky white guy. You stole our formula!'" --Conan O'Brien


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Odd News




American Olympic medalists Amanda Beard, left, Natalie Coughlin, right, and Michael Phelps pose with in new, high technology Speedo 'LZR Racer' swimsuits they will wear during the Beijing Summer Olympics this summer, during a news conference introducing the suits in New York, in this Feb. 12, 2008 photo. Speedo's new 'LZR Racer' already has taken a huge chunk out of the record book, less than two months since its coming out.
Photo/Kathy Willens