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Thursday edition - April 10, 2008
I can see the headline now: Mickey Mouse Guns Down Goofy Over Tryst With Minnie In Disneyworld Parking Lot
"John
McCain said this week he will release his medical records in May. He says he is
only on three medications -- aspirin, Claritin and another pill they did not
identify. Well, let's see, he's got a a wife that's 20 years younger, he's in
his 70s." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Quick, Name One Successful Contribution by Condi Rice
Air University will award
its first honorary degree to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at a 9 a.m.
ceremony April 14.
Subject: Florida has gone crazy
Lisa, Jeb Bush sure left his mark on my state. From s-election 2000 to bringing Florida down to 49th in high school graduation rate. And the GOP led primary debacle that caused Dems to lose our delegates. My state has become filled with stupid people, politicians especially, thanks to Jeb. Your site has kept me semi-sane since 2000. Donation in the mail, really! Moe - Ft Lauderdale
Thanks for writing and a big hug for your support.
Florida has a long history of stupid politics. One of my favorites examples is when some good old boys tried to ram through legislation giving the University of Florida control of the newly formed Florida State University football team in the late 1940s. In grand Seminole tradition, the brand spanking new FSU Seminoles supporters refused to sign a "treaty", and the legislation failed.
Zoom to 2008 - Florida has become the Gun Shine State! Yee Haw!
They don't call it Flori-duh for nothing. Especially when Republicans are in charge!
Disturbing News
"General
Petraeus, the top general in Iraq, testified on Capitol Hill today, and he was
questioned by Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. That's right, Obama and
Clinton both had the same question for Petraeus -- 'Are you, by any chance, a
superdelegate?'" --Conan O'Brien
Republican Shenanigans
It's OK When Republicans Do It
A Republican voter
registration deputy jailed Wednesday for attacking a newspaper reporter and
hitting the Democratic 6th District congressional candidate
could be back to work as early as today.
"In case
you forgot, taxes are due next week. You know, we all hate paying taxes, but the
truth of the matter is without our tax money, many politicians would not be able
to afford prostitutes." --Jimmy Kimmel Rock-The-Voter News
"I saw a
political expert on TV today, and he said the Pennsylvania primary -- that's the
big one with Hillary and Barack -- he said it will likely come down to which
candidate wins the white, male vote. Oh, that's a relief. Maybe white men can
finally have a say in how this country is run for a change." --Jay Leno
Biz-Tech News
"Well, a
few times, the protesters became so aggressive that the Chinese security team
had to retreat with the torch to one of their embassies. Had to go back to one
of their embassies. Luckily, there was a Wal-Mart in the area, so that's a
protected area." -Jay Leno Bush-Prison-Torture News
Making Sure The Messengers Don't Get Shot
The Associated
Press has announced the appointment of Danny Spriggs, the former No. 2 executive
in the U.S. Secret Service,
as vice president of global security, a newly created position.
Go-F***-Yourself News
Look Who's Playing the Role of Condi Rice in the movie "W"
The Bush administration is
coming together under the guidance of director Oliver Stone, with a British
actress set to join cabinet in his upcoming movie about President George W.
Bush.
"It's becoming a very controversial Olympics, and it's still months away. Here's the latest: Canada just announced it may boycott this year's Summer Olympics because of China's treatment of Tibet. Yeah, Canada may boycott. When asked about the boycott, Canada's prime minister said, 'I'm very angry at China. Plus, we suck at summer sports.'" --Conan O'Brien
Did you have a good time today?
Please support All Hat No Cattle
Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312
Click here to e-mail a comment
Odd News
Demand for top-tier Chinese artwork remained robust at Sotheby's biannual Hong Kong sales April 9, 2008, as buyers ignored troubled global stock markets to set record prices for feted blue-chip artists such as Zhang, whose "Bloodline: The Big Family No. 3" fetched HK$47.37 million ($6.06 million) including the buyer's premium after brisk bidding. Photo/Sotheby's
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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