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Tuesday edition - April 1, 2008
I can't think of any successes performed by Condoleezza Rice. Not one.
Happy April Fool's Day
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
CIA Leak Update
The CIA leak probe cost
$2.58 million, the Government Accountability Office disclosed Monday, wrapping
up an investigation that ensnared Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff
for perjury, obstruction and lying to the FBI.
"This is what he said in his speech yesterday -- I'm not kidding about this. He said things are good in Iraq because when you fly over it, you can see soccer games. What you can't see from that level is that they're being played with a human head." --Bill Maher
Disturbing News
"It looks
like Mitt Romney really wants to be picked as vice president. Did you see the
picture in the paper today of Romney talking to John McCain? Show this picture
[on screen: picture of McCain and Romney]. Doesn't it look the head of Leisure
World explaining the benefits of assisted living to the newest resident? 'Plus,
we have Meals on Wheels.'" -- Jay Leno Fighting For Islamic Freedoms
Afghanistan's
lower house of Parliament passed a resolution Monday seeking
to bar television programs from showing dancing and other practices deemed
un-Islamic.
Contrary to Reports, Nationals Fans Weren’t ‘Booing’ Bush
Republican Shenanigans
"MSNBC is reporting there's a chance that John McCain will pick Condoleezza Rice as his vice president. Well, actually, I think that's a perfectly balanced ticket. Right? I mean, he's white, she's black. He's a man, she's a woman. He's always steamed, she's Rice." --Jay Leno
More Condi-ment
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Monday that Mideast peace talks are "moving in the right direction" although she warned Israel that it should stop new settlement activities that could upset progress.
Rock-The-Voter News
Barack
Obama said Sunday Hillary Clinton ought to stay in the race. Polls show women
think it's sexist to pressure her to quit. Ever since the cable news shows
switched from opposition to the Iraq war to stopping Hillary, it's gotten very
bloody. - Argus Hamilton
Biz-Tech News
Boeing and Iraq
Boeing confirmed reports Monday that it has signed an agreement with the government of Iraq for the purchase of 30 Next-Generation 737s and 10 787 Dreamliners
"The White House is now outsourcing the manufacturing of our passports overseas. Our passports will now be made in foreign countries. See, this is how a global economy works. When an illegal immigrant from Mexico living in L.A. and working in a Japanese-owned company wants to go home to visit his relatives, he uses a a passport made in Thailand that he gets by a calling customer service number in India. You see how it works? This could be the thing that makes Lou Dobbs' head explode." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Darn
Radio talk-show host Rush
Limbaugh has been telling his audience for days now that he could be indicted
for encouraging Ohio Republicans to take a Democratic ballot in the March 4
primary in what he calls "Operation Chaos."
Go-F***-Yourself News
“Here’s
news from Hollywood. You know Pamela Anderson? Well, she recently had her
marriage annulled.” The “marriage lasted two months. I mean,” she “goes through
husbands like New York goes through governors.” - David Letterman I hope you had a good time today Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Odd News
A photo
released by the 'Tiergarten Nuernberg' zoo in Nuremberg on Monday March 31, 2008
shows polar bear cub Flocke, bathing in the pool in her enclosure.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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