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Tuesday edition - March 4, 2008
"In a
press conference today, President Bush announced America is not headed into a
recession, especially if you own an oil company." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Meanwhile, Back In China
China on Tuesday
dismissed as "Cold War" thinking a Pentagon report that says it is
developing the ability to limit or prevent the use of satellites by potential
adversaries during times of crisis.
"Yesterday, President Bush said that last year an intelligence gap opened up.
Last year? Gee, didn't that open up about 2001, right after the inauguration?"
--Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"They
are talking about John McCain and his relationship with that hot blond lobbyist,
Vicki. But I want to tell you something. After Senator Larry Craig, this is a
Washington scandal the whole family can enjoy, don't you think?" --David
Letterman Remember when the GOP called the French "Cheese eating surrender monkeys"?
Sen. John McCain said Monday that he hasn't made up his mind on a $35 billion Air Force contract awarded to the parent company of French plane maker Airbus.
Republican Shenanigans News
"Just 48 hours after Homeland Security officials
told Congress a 28-milelong virtual fence along the U.S./Mexican border was
working, they now say it will be delayed three years because they can't get the
video surveillance to work. Can't get it to work. Isn't that amazing? Do you
realize, Homeland Security has less video surveillance than the New England
Patriots." --Jay Leno
Flag pins are for losers -- literally
"This week, pictures of Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama appeared on the Internet, in what was clearly an underhanded attempt to make him look for a sushi chef [on screen: Obama in a traditional Somali dress]." --Seth Meyers
By Mad Kane
Rock-The-Voter News
"Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was
born on a military base in Panama. Hillary was born outside Chicago, and if you
believe the media, Barack Obama was born in a manger." --Jay Leno
Biz/Tech News
"I am sick of Republican rule. I am, because first it was Senator Larry Craig and now the economy is in the toilet." --Bill Maher
Granny, Get Your Gun
A
Danish journalist came this close
to getting shot Saturday by an elderly woman packing a pistol near President
Bush's ranch here in what was easily the strangest incident I've ever
witnessed covering the White House.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"At the
press conference, they asked him about the fact gas is approaching $4. You know
what Bush said? He said, 'That's interesting. I hadn't heard that.' See, Bush
thinks a news conference is where reporters give him the news" --Bill Maher
Go-F**k-Yourself News
You Should Have Just Said No, Moses!
High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week...Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the "burning bush," ...
"High
gas prices leave a bad taste in people's mouths, have you noticed that? That's
mostly from the siphoning, but still it's a horror. ... In fact, gas is so
expensive in L.A., now when you call 9-1-1, they ask you to meet the ambulance
half way." --Jay Leno
or Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford, AL 36312
or purchase originally designed T-Shirts, Mugs and More
Odd News
A handout
image from Blackpool Sealife Centre shows an octopus with six legs, or 'hexapus.'
British marine experts have found what they claim is a world first -- a
six-legged octopus, or "hexapus," who they have christened Henry.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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