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Thursday edition - March 27, 2008
Thanks to John from Japan for the cartoon idea
“In this….latest audio tape, Osama bin Laden blasts the cartoon showing the prophet Mohammad in a turban. See, this is why President Bush and Osama bin Laden are such enemies. Bush loves cartoons.” - Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Dropping Trou For Cheney
Once you make it past the
first check, (if you make it through the first check) there's the routine metal
detector and x-ray machine, followed by the side trip behind the curtains for a
body search.
“Well, according to a new study by the University of British Columbia and Harvard, money can buy happiness but only if you spend the money on someone else. To which former Governor Eliot Spitzer said, ‘See!’” - Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"The new governor of New York is having an interesting week. David Paterson, who is legally blind, decided to air all his dirty laundry immediately, and it turns out there's a lot of it. First, he and his wife admitted to having numerous affairs. They even held a press conference last week to do it, and then last night, he talked about a history of drug use. ... One good thing about this whole Eliot Spitzer mess is, we finally found out why New York is the city that never sleeps -- everyone's too busy having sex with each other there." --Jimmy Kimmel
Passport Paranoia
State Department workers viewed passport applications containing personal information about high-profile Americans, including the late Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith, at least 20 times since January 2007, The Associated Press has learned.
Republican Shenanigans
"How about that John McCain? I like John McCain. He looks like the guy who gets frisky with the new waitress at IHOP. ... He looks like the guy who watches his Cadillac go through the car wash. ... He looks like the guy in the supermarket yelling into his cell phone, 'I'm in aisle three, Marge. I can't find the brownie mix.'" --David Letterman
Back In The U.S.S.R.
President Bush said Wednesday he will meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin next week in Russia to try to break a logjam between the two nations over a proposed U.S. missile defense system.
Hillary Clinton's campaign admitted Monday she misspoke when she said she was under enemy fire at a Bosnian airport twelve years ago. She just misremembered it. She was under enemy fire when her plane left Washington but not when it arrived in Bosnia. - Argus Hamilton
Rock-The-Voter News
"Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama vacationing now in the Virgin Islands. It's
been a while since anyone's used the words 'Democrats' and 'virgin' in the same
sentence. You just don't hear that these days." --Jay Leno
"To give you an idea how bad the Democrats are doing, in a stunning reversal, John McCain now 10% ahead of Hillary Clinton and 7% ahead of Barack Obama. And this is after Iraq, a recession, and no healthcare. Imagine how far ahead he’d be if the Republicans had actually done something.” - Jay Leno
Biz-Tech News
"Things
are getting more violent in Tibet." To "disperse protesters, Chinese soldiers
are now lobbing toys with lead in them into the crowds." - Jay Leno Bush-Prison-Torture News
Go-F***-Yourself News
"Here's some news from Hollywood. You know Pamela Anderson? Well, she recently had her marriage annulled. ... Her marriage lasted two months. I mean, honest to God, she goes through husbands like New York goes through governors." --David Letterman
I hope you had a good time today Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312 Odd News
More than
1500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center perform
Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' dance in celebration of a religious festival in
Cebu City, in the central Philippines, January 18, 2008. Clips of the prisoners
have created a stir on the internet with over 3 million views since it was
posted on Youtube.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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