New editions Monday through Friday - Online since 2000

 Daily Frontpage   Archives   Floridagate: Where It All Began  You might be a right wing Republican if...  Which Republican Congressman had a dead aide found in his office?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions  Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family   About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice Subscribe to AHNC

I think it's a scream that conservatives use the term "lib" in the first place.

Liberal : lib :: Conservative : con
 

"AIG! Here's the worst part: any money AIG saved on bonuses, they chose to give to their favorite charity, the 'Punch the Children Fund.'" -- Jon Stewart

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush

• US military deaths in Iraq war at 4,259 AP

• US military deaths in Afghanistan region at 591 AP

• Officials: Bombs kill couple, policeman in Iraq AP

• Afghan leader warns against international meddling AP

• Gunmen fire on Darfur peacekeepers, killing 1 AP

• US orders diplomats to leave Madagascar AP

• Military rape reports rise, prosecution still low AP

Mickey Finns In Tokyo?

The US embassy in Japan has advised its citizens to avoid bars in Tokyo's Roppongi entertainment district, popular with tourists, warning of a sharp rise in drink-spiking incidents.
"The number of reports of US citizens being drugged in bars has increased significantly in recent weeks," the embassy warned online and in a rare email alert after similar warnings by the British and Australian embassies.

Email

Hi Lisa:
I am getting a kick out of the Bristol Palin saga - someone on the radio last week said that
"Sarah didn't load the shot gun fast enough". And no one seems to remember the TV interview that
Levi's mother gave standing in her front yard, shortly before her run in with the law. She said then that
Levi had no intentions of getting married. Sarah surely wasn't home giving Bristol good advice about
abstinence when as a 40 something she couldn't do the same for herself. I saw a shot of her on TV
the other night with that poor little limp baby thrown over her shoulder like a sticky burp rag when she
was paying for something in a store. Someone ought to suggest she have an Eskimo mother show her
how to lace him in a cradle board. And who takes care of him when she is off gussied up speaking to
the big GOP dinners? Surely not Todd who is off zooming around on his snow mobile. I'll bet it's poor
old Bristol doing double duty.

You edition of the 17th was great. Every word.

Alice

You summed up the Palins. If they were a reality show, America would be horrified. Oh, I remember, they are a reality show and America rejected her in the voting booth. It's like watching a car wreck -- one just can't look away. Plus their actions won't let you.

I wonder what will happen next?

The U.S. Justice department said they will no longer use the term “enemy combatant” when talking about detainees at Guantanamo Bay. The new name will be “guys who make you nervous when they’re on your flight.”- Jay Leno

Fox News Gets Caught

Ever since the election of Barack Obama, a number of on-air personalities at Fox News have been railing against the new administration, accusing it of all manner of misdeeds, even Nixon-esque "dirty tricks."

But the news channel's broadcast of an aggressively edited clip of Vice-President Joe Biden forced Fox News to set the record straight on Tuesday following an outcry from media watchdogs.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Former Bush aide faces sentencing in theft case AP

• The Protectors of the Palin Brand  Washington Post

• Republicans divided over Iraq ambassador pick The Associated Press

• McCain still has questions about Hill as Iraq envoy Reuters

• Once rebuffed, SC gov now asks Obama to allow use of $700M ... Seattle Times

Well, you’ve probably heard of this. The insurance company A.I.G. has done it again. They announced they’re giving their executives another $165 million in bonuses. So they bankrupt the company, took $170 billion of our dollars, and they’re giving out bonuses. You know the main thing they want to reward their people for? Convincing the Treasury Department to give out $170 billion to a failing company so they can give out bonuses for a job well done. It’s very well thought out. - Jay Leno
 

Bush Speaks

Getting two standing ovations at his first speech since leaving office, former President George W. Bush said that if President Obama wants help, “he can pick up the phone and call.” Otherwise, Bush said: “He deserves my silence.”
 

Rock-The-Voter News

• Begorra! Irish PM trips over White House speech AP

• Obama heads to California for town-hall meetings AP

Why do Republicans encourage, celebrate and reward ignorance?

Because they are aliens.
They all have ONLY English LIT degrees.
They live in 1948.
They think Reagan was God.
They are prejudice to anything NEW.
They are selfish.
They think they are right in all circumstances - EVEN with factual data and scientifically-based research staring them in the face.
AND......
they are all on Percocet's and heavily armed.

- AHNC viewer

"And some sad news. Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter, has broken up with babydaddy Levi Johnston. I was stunned when I heard. I mean, really, if two kids without a decent education and no jobs and a baby can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?" --Jay Leno

Ads by Google

Biz-Tech News

• Oil tumbles on new US inventory report The Associated Press

• Consumer prices rise by largest amount in 7 months AP

• Mexico hits US with tariffs over truck ban  Reuters

• French sex toy sales fall as credit crunch bites Reuters

• Petland is accused of scheme to sell sick puppies AP

• Made-to-order magazine lets readers choose AP

NBC Calls John Stewart Absurd!

 NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker fired back at comedian Jon Stewart on Wednesday, saying it was "unfair" and "absurd" for the funnyman to criticize CNBC and question its coverage of financial news.
 

“From my standpoint, it’s irresponsible for corporations to give bonuses, at this time, when they are so sucking the tit of the taxpayer.” - Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa)

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Author Sheds Light On CIA's 'Black Sites'  NPR

Email

Lisa,

I love your work, it's the only site I make sure to hit daily. A couple of unsolicited suggestions for you though, re your financial situation:
* GoogleAds for your site, it usually pays a nice consistent sum
* BlogAds for your site, http://web.blogads.com/ , decent payouts if you are well-trafficked, especially around election time

Finally, I think the humor is the strength/main draw of what you offer, so you might consider reducing your effort on all the news links, either by incorporating an RSS feed from places you like, or just trimming those out entirely. There are a lot of mature, progressive news sites such as the Huffington post, so - why duplicate labor?

Regards,

Bruce

Thank you for taking the time to help little ol' AHNC!

Google used to be a nice cushion for me. In May 2007 my Google revenues dropped almost 40%. Today my Google revenues are down almost 80%. I checked out BlogAds site you suggested and that is an interesting option. Thank you.

Re:  you might consider reducing your effort on all the news links

Feedback from my viewers over the years have shown the news links are a favorite part of viewing AHNC. When I first categorized my news links, I did so because I couldn't find a political comedy site, that on one page, a wide variety of news would be available. Example: I have everything from Military deaths to the price of oil on one page. Plus I like user friendly sites. One viewer wrote a few years ago, "I can go to your daily edition and find out everything going on, and as horrible as the news has been since Bush stole the election, I feel good when I leave your unique site. You keep us informed and sane."

Plus I have news ink in my blood. lol  I inhale news. I link to what I surf daily and that knowledge enables me to produce the theme of my site for the day.

It is difficult to find sophisticated political humor on "all the Internets." There's just a handful of late night comedians to quote. Editorial cartoonists are losing their jobs as newspapers shut down.

Thank God for Rush's Republicans to keep us laughing.

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Republican calls Dick Cheney "Ridiculous" (w/ video) TPMCafé

Odd News

• Creationist museum: Darwin got something right AP

• Wisconsin's new slogan faces some pushback AP

• Bob Dylan's toilet smell blows in the wind Reuters

• Cops arrest man passed out in car at drive-through AP

• Creditworthiness may be linked to looks Reuters

To Help You Deflate Photo

This image provided by NASA is a Hubble Space Telescope close-up view of Saturn's disk captures the transit of several moons across the face of the gas giant planet. The giant orange moon Titan
Photo/NASA

Peace.

Copyright Notice

Daily Frontpage   Archives   Floridagate: Where It All Began  You might be a right wing Republican if...  Which Republican Congressman had a dead aide found in his office?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions  All Hat No Cattle - What the heck does it mean?  Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family   About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice