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Monday edition - March 17, 2008
Well, they said Eliot Spitzer may have spent as much as $80,000 on prostitutes. $80,000, wait a minute, think about it, with the stock market going down, real estate markets crashing, he got a better return than most guys on his money, didn't he? Who's getting that kind of bang for their buck?" --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Delusional or Dumb? Or Both?
Everyone here is flummoxed
about why the president is in such a fine mood... “I’m coming to you as an
optimistic fellow,” he told the Economic Club of New York on Friday.
His manner — chortling and joshing — was in odd juxtaposition to the Fed’s
bailing out the imploding Bear Stearns and his own acknowledgment that “our
economy obviously is going through a tough time,” that gas prices are spiking,
and that folks “are concerned about making their bills.”
Condoleezza Rice Continues To Waste Jet Fuel
SALVADOR,
Brazil - Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice stopped her typically fast-moving
motorcade on Friday
to stroll the streets of Salvador, a Brazilian town known historically for its
slave trade.
Disturbing News
What Ever Happened To Winning Their Hearts And Minds?
Iraqis are finding their lives more hopeful but give the United States little credit for the improvement, an international media poll finds.
"Lieutenant Governor David Paterson will be sworn in as Spitzer's replacement. .Paterson says his top priority is fiscal responsibility. He wants to cut back on government spending. Especially on whores." --Jimmy Kimmel
Republican Shenanigans News
Fox Launches Obama Watch
Hoping to prod Barack Obama into appearing on its show, "Fox News Sunday" launched the "Obama Watch," a weekly update on the number of days the Democratic presidential candidate has failed to appear on the program.
Rock-The-Voter News
"Please
can we stop making this campaign about race and patriotism and different
candidate supporters and get back to focusing on what it's about -- the black
guy and the lady" --Jon Stewart
Biz/Tech News
Huh?
U.S. Attorney
General Michael Mukasey said on Friday he hoped Guantanamo prisoners charged in
the September 11 attacks
would not receive the death penalty, even though capital punishment would be
fitting.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Shooting the Messengers
As federal judges order more reporters to disclose
their confidential sources,
news organizations are pinning their hopes on congressional passage of a media
shield bill the Bush administration opposes as a threat to national
security.
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"Dawn Wells, the actress who played Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, was arrested near her home in Idaho after a sheriff's deputy saw her swerving, pulled her over and found some half smoked joints in her car and a bong made out of a coconut." - Jimmy Kimmel
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Odd News
A man
attends St Patrick's day celebrations in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Hundreds of
thousands of revelers throughout Ireland were gathering Monday for celebrations
to mark the annual Saint Patrick's Day national holiday.
Best wishes for a peaceful St. Patrick's Day.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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