Name That Toon Submissions

British intelligence has learned that gay marriages are a terrorist plot. The
evildoers want us all marrying same-sex partners so our birth rate drops to zero
and Western civilization disappears. Tony Blair has absolute proof this devilish
new WMD can wipe us ALL out in 45 minutes.

It wasn't MY fault! I had POOR INTELLIGENCE! ... Hey, what are you laughing at?
Wait a minute, this microphone's upside-down...

WANNA SEE MY WMD?

Two fags walk into a bar...


"That's disgusting, let's see that Janet Jackson tape again"!!
Mama told me that life is like a box of chocolate...

A '"BUSH JOB" is a job it takes three of to put food on your family. Don't you
understand english?

Working americans forced to sacrifice social security in retirement so my tax
cuts for the rich can be sustained? Sounds fair to me.


That's what Lisa meant by "thongs"?

What did you expect? A critically thinking president? Ha! You do know I'm an
orangutan in a man suit, right?

We got plenty of money in Washington..

oil's well that ends well

"Karl Rove just proposed to me"

YES, GOD DOES SPEAK DIRECTLY TO ME AND YES, A "BUSH JOB" IS EXACTLY WHAT IT
SOUNDS LIKE. NO MORE QUESTIONS. THANKS SUCKERS.

I GOTTA TELL YA'LL, I'VE SEEN LISA IN HER THONG AND SHE'S
UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Man, I could watch re-runs of Janets' half time show all night!

THE GREY HAIRED GUY NEXT TO ME IS GOING TO DIE IN POVERTY AND HIS FAT SON NEXT
TO HIM TOO. SUCKERS. THEY THINK I'M THE ANOINTED KING. JERRY AND PAT TOLD THEM
SO. PRETTY COOL, HUH?

UHHH, who else threatned Daddy so we can bomb them too?

Just wait till I tell them, there isn't going to be an election. Let me write
that down. Sounds better everytime I say it.

Oops they figured out I went AWOL.

Helen, you're saying Fallwell wants to marry me?

You can have my opinion on that, just as soon as unka Dick gives it to me

I says we're gonna create a million jobs. I didn't say WHERES those jobs would
be.......hyuck hyuck


Look, I'm working on my Elvis routine.
And now the end is near, so I face the final curtain.
I did it MY WAY ! How's the lip fellas?
Does the pen look like a mike?

Back when I was just a cheerleader in HS, before I went AWOL, I never knew that
one day I could be a WAR president, and take out those evil no good arabs. If
only the Liberals would allow me to carpet bomb the place, we could institute a
theocracy!

Gay marriage is the biggest threat to America in its history. If you don't act
now and reelect me, God will obliterate America ...
Ummmm 2+2 equals..........I'm a little fuzzy on the math here

God told me I'm a war president!
He also said somethin bout' speakin biggly & carrin a soft stick.

"eew, time to change the water in this bong"

Whattdya think this is, a democracy??

What, Me Worry?

Who Goosed me?

Oops! I farted! Woo-eee, that smells about as bad as my whole presidency!
eakthemonkey@yahoo.com

Thanks...I always loved amyl nitrate.

Scooby-dooby-dooo!!!

heree e e enelex/lkxalkmxAZ;

If I was Invisible

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition !

"Saddam...war on turra...9/11...bring 'em on...tax cuts..Saddam...war on
turra...9/11...bring 'em on...tax cuts..Saddam...war on turra...9/11...bring 'em
on...tax cuts.."

so I uh, Uh uh uh uh uh

Lets get that Jackson girl to come visit the White House

I can't believe they believed that one!

WMDs? Gay Marriage? Or whats behind door number 3?

so I had the guys at clear channel take howard stern off stations in 6 cities.am
i supposed to just stand bye and let him use free speach to critisize me?

I want to thank Simon and Garfunkel for the words which will forever resound in
the hearts and minds of all thinking Americans when they recall my term in
office: LIE LIE LIE...LIE LIELIELIE.

These here fellas want to get married to each other, and this shocks my sense of
high morals.
Damn! That's some good toot!

Yes, I am as dumb as I look.

I know the answer to this one. Two plus two is five!

one time in band camp........

Oh no! I think I just sharted!

I like to chew bubble gum and try to blow bubbles out my nose ain't it the
truth

I'm a freaking idiot and I likes to do yoga in my underwear during my spare
time!!!!!!!!!

Batavia Republicans love me?

Thanks for the uh... uhh...uhhh oh, memory!

What do you mean, Tim Russert is a Democrat? Unka Karl would never do that to
me!

I'm gonna haf to ask Karl Rove that question.
(Bush appearing at a career day event at a local elementary school)

Can I phone a friend?

oo-boy im president

Southern voters are as stupid as Iraq's!

I Feel OxyContin Good -- Thanks Rush!

My god, is that a negro here at this $2,000 hot dog roast. who does he belong
to.

Call me embarrassed! How did I know these two fellers were gay? Let's talk
about Mars, instead!


what I really meant was WHORE president

Bubbles, the Chimp, will be my VP!

So, I'd sit up, twitch my upper lip a bit to shake off any excess, then I'd
snort the second line. Man, what a rush!

Well crack my ass! There's Osama Ben Laden!

Condi goosed me!Ohhh.

They can stop looking for The Missing Link...here I am!

Golly! I haven't seen this much white fabric since the last Klan meeting I was
at. Whooooooey.
-sepaku.

Holy moley, I think I am a turd.

The deficit? Uh...911...Iraq...mmm...gay marriage...constitutional amendment...

Where was "Sanctity of Marriage" when my brother was sleeping with strangers in
Japan?....ummmmm...

Coloreds? Here? In Duluth?

OOOH!! An open bar!!!!

If we were all practicing the "same sex", marriage wouldn't be very diverse now
would it?

livin' mi vida loca!

"Whoohoo! Look at them cheerleaders!"


"The Itsy Bisty Spider Went Up The Water Spout...."

I scored a 25 on my test for the Nashional Guard. That means I was a gooder
pilot than the other guys.

Imagine how dangerous I'd be if I only had a brain!!!

Condi!...Not now!!!
People will see!...

It depends on what your definition of "drove her to an abortion clinic" is...

Can you hear me now? No? Good.

Bright lights, so pretty.

You mean I actually have to 'read' to be president??

OK, which rube has the check?

1.) This a GLAAD banquet?

2.) Me are do run good the country!!

3.) Wow 4 syllables in one word! And I got 2 right!

I am not "acting" stupid------------

They're coming to take me away, ha ha...they're coming to take me away, ha ha ho
ho he he...to the Funny Farm!

Woah...Guess I picked the wrong day to stop snorting coke!

Mr. Greenspin says the country is going broke! Why can't we just print more
money?

I spend way too much time thinking about gays having sex!

I'll bet you can't find a monkey to match this expression

"uhhh.......Cheney, can ya help me out here? tell me what to say next! (damn
teleprompter keeps screwing up)"

"Well, hyuk! If the manipulation and destruction of this fine country for the
purposes of making money for my family was good enough for Dad, it's good enough
for me!"

We Christians must impose our morality on the unclean through the constitution.
Make sin illegal.
We must also take away thier jobs, thier unemployment benifits, social security,
medical benifits, uneducate them. Then they will pray. This is our new plan to
convert the masses. We will make 'merica a God fearing nation. Holy wars? You
ain't seen nuthin' yet.

BUSH AND RICE , 2OO4 , GREAT IDEA GUYS.

Yes, I can say it with a straight face...John Kerry and I do have similar
military service credentials...

"Republicans are so predictable". "All I have to do is
say "Gay Marriage" and they all do exactly
what we want. Thank God, I'm not a Democrat,
they actually use their brains!

Well, the thing is, uh, you see, food, family...uh, Karl, help, so,
terrists.....

Fuzzy math? All those lost jobs?
But I can count, I just have to take off my shoes.
We do have twenty jobs somewhere don't we?

Kiss Me You Idiot!

Ya know cocaine didn't used ta tickle my nose like that.

"..Saadam as good as chainsawed the arms off that little Iraq boy when he
refused to permit U.N. inspectors to search for WMD's".

What, You want to draft Jenna and Barbara?

Doh!

Oh, Sh*t! I can't remember what I'm supposed to say.

So fellas,... I'm worried that John Kerry can produce more than a few checkstubs
and a denatl xray.... Can't we amend the Constitution sayin' that we can brand
gays?

And that's the most rediculous thing I've ever hoid.

Bless you! Oh, thank you, sir, for the drink.

smell what?

YEOWEE DOC!!! Can't I get this colon exam more than once a year!

Time for Wapner. Definitely time for Wapner.

OOOPS! I just let loose a biological WMD!

WooHoo...Is that some Homo behind me?

Do I look as stupid as i feel ?

WHAT ? us-soldiers get raped by us-soldiers and i got not one piece of ass ???

"Damn, I wish I could remember what Rove told me to say."

"oh this is so exciting, those new open toe shoes with the spiked heels are just
what I've been looking for".

Holy F---ing S--t! That was some good coke!!!!!
Was that from some of brother Neil's or Karl's stash?
Hey, the Prez doesn't have to take a piss test does he. Let's go beat up some
queers and then hit the titty bars in Baltimore.

"A tit! Really? I wouldn't know. That's past my bedtime."

do you wany fries with that wmd

You can't preempt that weapon of mass odor!

OOOOOOh wonder if the mike picked up the poot?

Ooooww, Hannity your nose is cold!!!!

While I was basking in all this mental speculation, all around the room, people
quietly conversed about what was to come. Quite unexpectedly, a secret service
agent slipped in and unobtrusively passed the news that there had been a
terrible airplane crash in New York and the President wouldn't be addressing the
audience about reading. He had a grave message to convey to the nation, and he
would come in, deliver it and leave immediately. It was then that I realized
that our little moment in time, our special notoriety was soon to become an
historical event.


At 9:30 A.M. on September 11, 2001, President George W. Bush slipped silently
behind the podium and made the announcement to the nation and the world that
there had been "an apparent terrorist attack on our country."

Pull my finger again,I won't blink !

I always get a rush from the oxygen, when I pull my head out of my ass.

Anal Probe er uh Saddam's Guided Missle
From Emma E. Booker web sight

The reason I have this dorky look on my face? Because
I'm a Dork!!

OOPS,I FARTED !!DON'T WORRY IT DON'T STINK..

Where will you be when your diarrhea starts.


I just cut me a real stinker of a fart....who's behind me that I can blame it
on??????

I think the pimple on my butt just popped.

Thank you all for the submissions!