Thank you all for all the funny captions!

Click here for all the entries (minus the obscene ones!)

No winner yet in 'Doonesbury' Bush search
CNN - Feb 27, 2004
NEW YORK (Reuters) -- A $10,000 reward offered by the "Doonesbury" comic strip for
proof that US President George W. Bush served in the Alabama National Guard ...
 

"Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died, and it looks like he might lose his job. Next thing, his truck is going to break down." —Jay Leno

www.buckfush.com

"If there's one thing that actors know, other than that there weren't any W-M-D's, it's that there is no such thing as best in acting." Sean Penn accepting his academy award for best actor

Disturbing News

EU Slaps Trade Sanctions on U.S. Goods

Reuters - Mon Mar 1, 4:21 AM ET

The European Union imposed sanctions on the United States for the first time on Monday 

as a dispute over tax breaks for U.S. firms turned into a trade battle that

Study on FBI Finds Fault, Urges Change 

AP - Fri Feb 27, 6:28 PM ET

The FBI has a deeply flawed process for disciplining employees that leads to perceptions of 

favoritism and unfairness and is run by an office characterized by some as a snake pit that fails 

to attract top people, according to an independent review released Friday.

CBO: Bigger Long-Run Deficit in Bush Plan

Reuters - Fri Feb 27, 6:41 PM ET

President Bush's budget plans would improve the fiscal deficit in the next few years but send 

the shortfall soaring over the longer run, congressional analysts said on Friday.

Blair resists calls to come clean on UN spying allegations

AFP - Fri Feb 27,12:17 PM ET

Prime Minister Tony Blair resisted calls to come clean on allegations that Britain spied on 

United Nations Secretary General Kofi..

Bush to Limit Interview with 9/11 Panel to an Hour

Reuters - Fri Feb 27,11:52 AM ET

The panel investigating the Sept. 11 attacks on the United States will get one hour to ask 

President Bush what he knew about events leading up to the suicide airline hijackings,

 the White House said on Friday.

Justice Scalia Stirring Controversy

AP - Fri Feb 27, 4:00 PM ET

In the space of a few days, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia groused when his 

colleagues overturned a Texas death sentence, needled them about a gay rights decision 

and sarcastically suggested their church-state ruling could steal health benefits from nuns.

U.S. Marines in Haiti; Aristide Flees to Africa

Reuters - 3-1-04

U.S. Marines hit the streets of the chaotic Haitian capital on Monday after President Jean-Bertrand 

Aristide fled into exile in Africa, driven out by a bloody rebellion and foreign pressure.

U.S. Plans for Inspectors in Overseas Airports-WSJ

Reuters - Mon Mar 1, 4:15 AM ET

The United States' Homeland Security Department is planning to station American inspectors in 

foreign airports to screen passengers, the Wall Street Journal reported on Monday.

Deputies had chance to search Columbine killer's home

USATODAY.com - Fri Feb 27, 6:13 AM ET

More than a year before the bloodiest school shooting in U.S. history, authorities missed an 

opportunity to search the home of one of the Columbine High School shooters during a pipe 

bomb investigation, Colorado's attorney general said Thursday.

Three Dead, 18 Missing as Tanker Sinks Off Virginia

Reuters - Sun Feb 29, 8:02 PM ET

The U.S. Coast Guard searched frigid waters off the Virginia coast on Sunday for 18 missing 

crew after a chemical tanker carrying 11,000 tons of industrial ethanol exploded,

For Windows Users, 'Browser Hijacking' Is Only the Latest Threat

washingtonpost.com - 3-1-04

The ongoing Internet-security freakout for anybody using Windows keeps getting worse. Every 

other week yet another part of the online world gets a warning label slapped on it -- downloads, 

e-mail attachments, instant-messaging file transfers and now Web pages themselves.

E-Voting Terminals Face Super Tuesday Test

Reuters - Sun Feb 29, 5:53 PM ET

Maryland's sleek new voting machines will be swathed in tamper-proof tape during Tuesday's 

primary election, but that won't make computer scientist Avi Rubin any more confident in the outcome.

File Sharing Vulnerability Discovered in Mac OS X

Ziff Davis - Fri Feb 27, 1:54 PM ET

A security issue that could result in stolen passwords and data on Friday was revealed for Apple 

Computer's Apple Filing Protocol, a component of Mac OS X 10.3.2, a k a Panther. The file protocol 

allows Macintosh users to access files on remote systems. 

NASA Safety Review Uncovers Poor Records

AP - Fri Feb 27, 9:50 PM ET

NASA is doing a poor job keeping track of breakdowns and other problems aboard the international 

space station, an internal audit released Friday found.

Experts: Research Needed Into Rising Teen Cancers 

Reuters -3-1-04

Cancer in teenagers and young adults has risen to become the most common cause of natural

death for their age, but not enough research is being done into its causes or treatment, health experts

said Monday.

Bush Replaces Advisers on Cloning, Medical Issues

Reuters - Fri Feb 27,11:57 PM ET

President Bush reshuffled his advisory council on cloning and related medical issues on Friday,

adding a prominent neurosurgeon known for his work on conjoined twins and two conservatives

who have spoken out strongly against cloning.
 

"On Fox News today they said catching Osama bin Laden is just a matter of time. Yeah, election time!" —Jay Leno

You think you had a bad day?

"President Bush said he was anxious to see the film (The Passion of Christ), though he was a little upset when he heard it was in Aramaic and Latin. Bush said 'Why make a movie only Arabs and Latinos would understand?'” —Jay Leno

EMAIL:

Subject: Oscars - is America wising up?

Documentary director Errol Morris ("The Fog That Is War") criticizes
DUMBya's war...and NO boos!

Sean Penn wins Best Actor, Tim Robbins wins Best Supporting Actor -
the neo-fascists in our land must be tearing their hair out.

An Indian reporter asked Tim afterwards if he's "afraid Bush will try
to steal another election with more dirty tricks" and was applauded!

Is the veil finally lifting from America's eyes?


Terry C
NJ
 

Maybe America is finally getting the news about Bush and his deceitful ways?

No Bush Left Behind
Mother Jones, CA - 3-1-04
By Rina Palta. Now that Jenna and Barbara can legally drink, Neil Bush has
resumed his mantle as the Bush most likely to embarrass the White House. ...

ODD NEWS

Maker's Mark bourbon backs a punch at 50

Canadian Press - Sun Feb 29,12:36 PM ET

LORETTO, Ky. (AP) - To signify a new beginning with a new recipe, bourbon maker Bill Samuels set fire to his 

family's 170-year-old formula - sparking an explosion that burned a hole in the ceiling and singed his 

daughter's hair.

Chavez Denounces Bush as Foes Fight Troops

Reuters - Sun Feb 29, 9:18 PM ET

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Bush an "---hole" on Sunday for meddling, and 

vowed never to..

Suspected ornament thief nabbed

CourtTV - Fri Feb 27, 2:37 PM ET

HILLSBORO, Ore. (Court TV) — The gnome-napping nightmare is over…

British Couple Marry in Supermarket

AP - Sat Feb 28,12:45 PM ET

Instead of walking down the aisle, the bride — and her 11 bridesmaids — glided up a supermarket escalator.

Big-Drinking Finns Prepare for Price Cut

AP - Sat Feb 28, 1:30 PM ET

Hundreds of trucks prepared to roll onto frozen roads at midnight Sunday, stocked with beer and hard cider

for a population that eagerly awaits a historic government measure that will cut alcohol prices by nearly

40 percent.
 
Bee flight could inspire miniature spy planes

AFP - Fri Feb 27, 8:32 PM ET

British scientists say they are studying the flight of bees to see whether a tiny plane could be built with 

flappable wings

About 60 Animals Dead in Brazil Zoo Murder Mystery

Reuters - Fri Feb 27, 6:46 PM ET

Nearly 60 animals have been killed at the Sao Paulo Zoo since last month and police expect to track 

down the suspected killers soon, a Brazilian official said on Friday.

666 Appears on Some 'Passion' Tickets

3-1-04

Tickets at one movie theater screening Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" are being deemed 

decidedly unholy.

Jackson Pulled Over While Wearing Mask

Sat Feb 28, 8:35 AM ET

Michael Jackson was pulled over by police and asked to identify himself after shopping at a Wal-Mart while 

wearing a ski mask.

Naughty nursery rhymes show tabloid tattle not new

Reuters - Mon Mar 1, 5:45 AM ET

Bed-hopping royals, religious hatred, teenage sex, obesity warnings - tabloid headlines? No, Britain's favourite 

nursery rhymes.

New Hong Kong news channel gives viewers the naked truth

Fri Feb 27,12:45 AM ET

Hong Kong viewers will get the naked truth on a new TV news show presented by nude newsreaders, 

press reports said.

Bush Focuses on Raising Campaign Cash

3-1-04

WASHINGTON - President Bush plans a week of heavy fund raising starting Monday, collecting 

campaign cash in the nation's capital, California and Texas for his re-election and for fellow Republicans... 

THREE CARD MONTE WITH ALAN GREENSPAN...Alan Greenspan's comments a few 

days ago about the necessity of cutting Social Security benefits struck me as disingenuous, but I didn't realize 

quite how disingenuous until a couple of things came through my inbox today:

scroll down on the link below

http://www.calpundit.com/  

EMAIL:
SUBJECT:The Warner Brothers Administration strikes again.
 

Lisa
I see where pResident George W. Fudd, the wascally wepublican, has declared that teachers in American schools are terrorists! That's right, that nasty Mrs. Davies who kept young George after school in the third grade is a member of a terrorist organization, the National Education Association. This must be the ultimate revenge of every C- student in our schools.

Oracle

Bush seems to be picking on teachers, gays...who's next?  Janet Jackson?...oh, he already has.

Lisa 
No weekend edition on the left coast, major let down!

Oracle

Mea culpa---the past two weekends I have had spotty cable connections!  Fingers crossed for next weekend.  

I got about a gazillion emails wanting to know if I was discontinuing the weekend edition. Thank you all

for missing it!

EMAIL

Subject: 9-11 Chronology

In regards to the TGIF article on Bush's 9/11 reaction. First of all I am no fan of Bush, 

however this is not an issue we as democrats can capitalize on. If you put yourself in 

"Ws" shoes( I know the lobotomy would be painful) how shocked would you be that 

America was attacked? Do you want to panic everyone that is watching your photo op? 
Does his response or lack of show anything? Sure it shows he can't think on his feet. 

It shows he's not running this country Rummey,Dick, and Wolfowicz are. It shows contrary 

to Bush's BS that we were not prepared to fight terrorism. But is this an issue we can make 

an election year issue out of? No!


Keep Up The Great Work
Mike From Manch

I felt so safe watching Bush sit there while our country was being attacked...if that act shows 

anything is does show that Bush really is a meathead.

Thanks for writing Mike.

A statue deposited overnight without authorization at the junction of Shaftesbury avenue and St. Giles 

high street in London February 27, 2004. The sculpture 'The Drinker' which has a traffic cone permanently attached 

to its head and is a parody of Rodin's famous 'The Thinker'. Also on the statue is a comment 

on binge-drinking and behaving badly in public by graffiti artist Banksy. (HO)

Peace.