Thursday edition - February 8, 2007





Iran tests missile to sink battleships
Irish Times, Ireland - 2-8-07
Iran's Revolutionary Guards test fired missiles in wargames today which a commander said could sink "big warships" in the Gulf, Sea of Oman and the north of ...

After many denials, Army confirms private security contract in Iraq
San Diego Union Tribune, CA - 2-7-07

WASHINGTON After numerous denials, the Pentagon has confirmed that a North Carolina company provided armed security guards in Iraq ...

Army withholds from Halliburton $19.6 million in payments
Denver Post, CO - 2-8-07
 Washington - The Army announced during a House oversight committee hearing Wed nesday it would withhold $19.6 million from Halliburton Co. ...


It's a toss up, I don't know who is crazier, the president of Iran or the US.



"It's so cold today, Condoleezza Rice climbed under a man." --David Letterman


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



If only Bush were an astronaut, that would explain his wildly erratic behavior. - Grant Gerver,



Rice Suffers Memory Loss. She Must Have Caught It From Scooter Libby.



Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice disputed claims Wednesday that the Bush administration bungled a diplomatic overture from Iran that offered a broad dialogue with the United States after nearly a quarter-century of enmity...Rice told Congress she does not remember seeing the 2003 Iranian proposal, which suggested Iran was ready to discuss its disputed nuclear program, support for militant groups that the United States labels terrorists and the acceptance of Israel.



Do those people who have their fingers on the buttons to launch nuclear missiles get the same kind of psychological evaluation as our astronauts? - Zing!




Disturbing News

When All Else Fails, Force Em Out


The departure of nearly a dozen U.S. attorneys--including some overseeing high-profile politically charged criminal investigations--has sparked congressional inquiries as to whether the Justice Department is politicizing the hiring and firing of federal prosecutors...One of the U.S. attorney departures that is raising the most eyebrows is that of Carol Lam, who has been overseeing the massive federal corruption probe of former Rep. Randall "Duke" Cunningham...To some veteran former Justice Department officials, the departure of Lam before the Cunningham probe is completed harks back to a similar case involving a CIA asset more than 25 years ago, in which the U.S. attorney was fired because of pressure from the agency.


Republican Shenanigans


"Ted Haggard, the minister who was caught with a gay prostitute, has just finished a three-week sex addiction program. He says he is now 'completely heterosexual.' Haggard says he will prove he is completely heterosexual by having sex only with men who are completely heterosexual" --Conan O'Brien





$12 Billion Bye Bye


This week, we were treated to the spectacle of the former U.S. civilian overlord of Iraq, Ambassador L. Paul Bremer, squirming in the hot seat as he attempted with little success to explain what he did with 363 TONS of newly printed, shrink-wrapped $100 bills he had flown to Baghdad.

That's $12 billion in cold, hard American cash, and no one, especially Bremer, seems to know where it went.



Catholic Gone Wild


The head of a conservative Catholic group is demanding that former Sen. John Edwards, D-North Carolina, fire two of his campaign bloggers, charging that they are "anti-Catholic, vulgar, trash talking bigots."

In a move that has created a buzz in the blogosphere, Catholic League President William Donohue points to a blog written by Amanda Marcotte on the "Pandagon" blog site regarding the church's opposition to birth control saying it forces women "to bear more tithing Catholics."


"Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. Been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida does not vote on this one.
 - Jay Leno




Biz-Tech News


NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak drove to Florida wearing a wig and an adult diaper Monday to assault a love rival. It's big news. Iran must be terrified now that they know we don't do any psychological screening of the people on top of our rockets. - Argus Hamilton


 Is Lisa Nowak John Stewart's sister?



Bush-Prison-Torture News


Go-F***-Yourself News


I hope you had a good time today.


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Odd News


Roto-Rooter's 'Pimped Out John' in an undated handout photo. Roto-Rooter says its 'Pimped Out John' is designed to 'fulfill all your wildest bathroom dreams'. Special features include an iPod music player and speakers, an Xbox video game console, a refrigerator filled with drinks and snacks and a cycling exercise machine. (Photo/Roto-Rooter)