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Wednesday edition -
February 20,
2007
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Obama Takes Hawaii and Wisconsin in Decisive Fashion
Washington Post -
2-20-08
By Dan Balz Sen. Barack
Obama won the Wisconsin Democratic primary and the Hawaii caucuses
decisively last night, extending his winning streak to ten consecutive
contests and dealing another significant blow to Sen. Hillary Rodham
Clinton...
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Al-Sadr Threatens to Lift Cease-Fire
The Associated Press - 2-20-08
BAGHDAD (AP) — Radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr
has threatened to lift by the end of the week a six-month cease-fire widely
credited with helping |
US commander: Iraq tours of duty may be cut 3 months
CNN - 2-20-08
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Tours of duty for US
soldiers in Iraq may be cut from 15 months to 12 if current
improvements in security hold up, the US commander in Iraq said
Tuesday. US Army Gen. David Petraeus and Secretary of Defense Robert M.
Gates in |
"How
about the presidential campaign. Barack Obama and John Edwards got together over
the weekend. Edwards may endorse Barack Obama. Although his hair is leaning
towards Hillary." --David Letterman

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"And
Senator John McCain was on the Larry King show the other night. He and Larry got
in a big argument over whose prostate was larger." --Jay Leno
A Meteor Or Did The Spy
Satellite Crash?
An apparent meteor
streaked through the sky over the Pacific Northwest early Tuesday, drawing
reports of bright lights and sonic booms in parts of Washington, Oregon and
Idaho.
Although a witness reported seeing the object strike the Earth in a remote part
of Adams County, in southeast Washington,
it had not been found.

Disturbing News
"And
President Bush is now pushing Congress to expand the government's ability to spy
on Americans now that the current phone tap bill has expired. In fact, to gain
support for a new spying Bill, they're bringing in coach Bill Belichick. Yeah.
They are going to rename it the New England Patriot Act." --Jay Leno

The George W Bush
Presidential Library is now in the
planning stages.
You'll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution
to this great man's legacy.
The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show
up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (Which no one has been able to
find).
The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to
go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tours.
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with
shooting gallery.
Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy
(or just steal) an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
Republican Senators.
Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8
scale model of the President's ego.
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an
electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the
individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's
Republican Shenanigans
News
"President Bush met the president of Tanzania yesterday and he gave him a pair
of Shaquille O'Neal's sneakers. The president of Tanzania was thrilled and plans
to use Shaq's shoes as a house for hundreds of his people." --Conan O'Brien

www.offthewahl.com
Rock-The-Voter News
Biz/Tech News
"Congress is holding hearings on baseball and steroids. Congress is committed to
removing performance-enhancing drugs from baseball. You know, I got a better
idea. Why don't we get performance-enhancing drugs out of baseball and give them
to Congress? What is their approval rate? 13%? Maybe it would help." --Jay
Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture
News
"Former President George H.W. Bush will endorse
Senator John McCain for president. They have been close friends since the Civil
War and the former president says that John McCain is the only candidate who has
the strength, the leadership and the vision to dig America out of this giant
hole his son has put us in." --Jimmy Kimmel

Go-F**k-Yourself News
"And the
Pentagon is now planning to shoot down a broken satellite that's falling to
Earth. The satellite is the size of a school bus, and they want to blow it up
before it hits us. Yeah. In fact the actual plan, they're going to have Roger
Clemens throw a second school bus at it." --Jay Leno


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Odd News

In this
photo released by the Australian Antarctic Division, tunicates, an animal that
resembles glass tulips are seen in Antarctic waters in January 2008. Scientists
investigating the icy waters of Antarctica said they have collected
mysterious creatures including giant sea spiders the size of dinner plates and
huge worms living in the murky depths. Australian experts taking part in an
international program to take a census of marine life in the ocean at the far
south of the world collected specimens from up to 2,000 meters (6,500 feet)
beneath the surface, and said many may never have been seen before.
Photo/Australian Antarctic Division,Martin Riddle
Peace.
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