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Wednesday edition - February 20, 2007
"How about the presidential campaign. Barack Obama and John Edwards got together over the weekend. Edwards may endorse Barack Obama. Although his hair is leaning towards Hillary." --David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"And Senator John McCain was on the Larry King show the other night. He and Larry got in a big argument over whose prostate was larger." --Jay Leno
A Meteor Or Did The Spy Satellite Crash?
An apparent meteor
streaked through the sky over the Pacific Northwest early Tuesday, drawing
reports of bright lights and sonic booms in parts of Washington, Oregon and
Idaho.
Disturbing News
"And President Bush is now pushing Congress to expand the government's ability to spy on Americans now that the current phone tap bill has expired. In fact, to gain support for a new spying Bill, they're bringing in coach Bill Belichick. Yeah. They are going to rename it the New England Patriot Act." --Jay Leno
The George W Bush
Presidential Library is now in the
planning stages.
Republican Shenanigans News "President Bush met the president of Tanzania yesterday and he gave him a pair of Shaquille O'Neal's sneakers. The president of Tanzania was thrilled and plans to use Shaq's shoes as a house for hundreds of his people." --Conan O'Brien
Rock-The-Voter News
Biz/Tech News
"Congress is holding hearings on baseball and steroids. Congress is committed to removing performance-enhancing drugs from baseball. You know, I got a better idea. Why don't we get performance-enhancing drugs out of baseball and give them to Congress? What is their approval rate? 13%? Maybe it would help." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Former President George H.W. Bush will endorse Senator John McCain for president. They have been close friends since the Civil War and the former president says that John McCain is the only candidate who has the strength, the leadership and the vision to dig America out of this giant hole his son has put us in." --Jimmy Kimmel
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"And the Pentagon is now planning to shoot down a broken satellite that's falling to Earth. The satellite is the size of a school bus, and they want to blow it up before it hits us. Yeah. In fact the actual plan, they're going to have Roger Clemens throw a second school bus at it." --Jay Leno
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Odd News
In this
photo released by the Australian Antarctic Division, tunicates, an animal that
resembles glass tulips are seen in Antarctic waters in January 2008. Scientists
investigating the icy waters of Antarctica said they have collected
mysterious creatures including giant sea spiders the size of dinner plates and
huge worms living in the murky depths. Australian experts taking part in an
international program to take a census of marine life in the ocean at the far
south of the world collected specimens from up to 2,000 meters (6,500 feet)
beneath the surface, and said many may never have been seen before.
Peace.
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