Wednesday edition - February 20, 2007

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"How about the presidential campaign. Barack Obama and John Edwards got together over the weekend. Edwards may endorse Barack Obama. Although his hair is leaning towards Hillary." --David Letterman

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 3,963 AP

• Roadside bomb kills three US soldiers in Baghdad Reuters

• Suicide bomber kills 10 in Iraq market attack AFP

• 15 Police Killed in Rocket Blast The Associated Press

• Suicide bomber kills 7 in Iraq: hospital Reuters

• Anti-Qaeda family gunned down at home in Iraq AFP

• Trial of 2 Ex-Officials in Iraq Is Delayed as Witnesses Fail to Show New York Times

• Australia Says Southern Iraq Mission Complete, Troops to Leave Bloomberg

• Pakistan President Refuses to Step Down The Associated Press

• U.S. military stretched dangerously thin by war: poll Reuters

"And Senator John McCain was on the Larry King show the other night. He and Larry got in a big argument over whose prostate was larger." --Jay Leno

A Meteor Or Did The Spy Satellite Crash?

An apparent meteor streaked through the sky over the Pacific Northwest early Tuesday, drawing reports of bright lights and sonic booms in parts of Washington, Oregon and Idaho.

Although a witness reported seeing the object strike the Earth in a remote part of Adams County, in southeast Washington, it had not been found.

Disturbing News

• Strong quake strikes near Indonesia's Aceh Reuters

• Rapid sinking of Mississippi Delta only skin deep: study AFP

"And President Bush is now pushing Congress to expand the government's ability to spy on Americans now that the current phone tap bill has expired. In fact, to gain support for a new spying Bill, they're bringing in coach Bill Belichick. Yeah. They are going to rename it the New England Patriot Act." --Jay Leno

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages.
You'll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution
to this great man's legacy.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show
up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (Which no one has been able to
find).

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to
go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tours.

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with
shooting gallery.

Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy
(or just steal) an election.

The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
Republican Senators.

Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8
scale model of the President's ego.

To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an
electron microscope to help you locate them.

When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the
individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's
 

Republican Shenanigans News

• Bush says no plans for new U.S. bases in Africa Reuters

• McCain hauls in nearly $12M in January AP

• Court rules against state lawsuits AP

"President Bush met the president of Tanzania yesterday and he gave him a pair of Shaquille O'Neal's sneakers. The president of Tanzania was thrilled and plans to use Shaq's shoes as a house for hundreds of his people." --Conan O'Brien

www.offthewahl.com

Rock-The-Voter News

• NBC reprimands employee for Obama error AP

• Clinton says Obama relies on 'words' AP

Biz/Tech News

• Oil price closes above $100 for first time San Francisco Chronicle

• Two Gift Retailers File for Bankruptcy CNNMoney.com 

• Jan home starts up 0.8 percent, permits lowest in 16 years Reuters

• Microsoft steps up Yahoo campaign BBC News

• Web site 'Wikileaks' shuttered over post AP

"Congress is holding hearings on baseball and steroids. Congress is committed to removing performance-enhancing drugs from baseball. You know, I got a better idea. Why don't we get performance-enhancing drugs out of baseball and give them to Congress? What is their approval rate? 13%? Maybe it would help." --Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Rigged Trials at Gitmo - The Nation

"Former President George H.W. Bush will endorse Senator John McCain for president. They have been close friends since the Civil War and the former president says that John McCain is the only candidate who has the strength, the leadership and the vision to dig America out of this giant hole his son has put us in." --Jimmy Kimmel

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Cheney to stump for Walberg in Marshall Battle Creek Enquirer, MI 

"And the Pentagon is now planning to shoot down a broken satellite that's falling to Earth. The satellite is the size of a school bus, and they want to blow it up before it hits us. Yeah. In fact the actual plan, they're going to have Roger Clemens throw a second school bus at it." --Jay Leno

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