Is it just me or is Cheney essentially telling us to go f**k ourselves?

"Vice-president Dick Cheney, while hunting wild geese in the Rose Garden, accidentally shot President Bush twice, once in the heart and once in the head. 'I didn't really shoot the president twice,' said Cheney. 'The second time I shot him, I was president."' -- Steve Martin, comedian

www.internetweekly.org

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• Iraq Body Count

• Baghdad Car Bombs Kill Seven Iraqis AP

• Saddam Reportedly Warned U.S. of Terrorism AP

• 'Cartoon' protests in Pakistan, schools shut Times of India

• China workers killed in Pakistan BBC News

• Karzai urges Pakistan to step up anti-terror drive Reuters AlertNet

• Jordan Sentences Zarqawi, in Absentia, to Death in Chemical Plot New York Times

"Good news, good news today -- so far Dick Cheney has not shot anybody." --David Letterman

Softball Whiffle Ball Questions from Brit Hume to Dick Cheney, the Shooter

Q: How far away from you was he?

A: I'm guessing about 30 yards, which was a good thing. If he'd been closer, obviously, the damage from the shot would have been greater.

Q: Now, is it clear that — he had caught part of the shot, is that right?

A: Part of the shot. He was struck in the right side of his face, his neck and his upper torso on the right side of his body.

Q: And you — and I take it, you missed the bird?

The 15th question Brit Hume asked about the Vice president shooting a man was whether he bagged the bird. What could be a more inappropriate question?

Republican Homonyms

Quayle + Quail = Bird Brains

Disturbing News

• Board: Teflon Chemical a Likely Carcinogen AP

• Discovery of ballots in dump draws ire, questions in Haiti Newsday

"You can't blame [Cheney]. Bush says you can spy on people without warrants, you can torture people, you can hold people without a trial, so Dick Cheney thinks, 'Oh what the hell, I can shoot a few guys.'" --Jay Leno

Cheney Liquor Preference Comments

• He only drinks the blood of Iraqi children, preferably still warm.
  By the way if Whittington dies will they charge Dick with manslaughter?
  Daniel

• The Veep's favorite adult beverage is, of course, the Bloody Mary, featuring Black Death vodka. He has an image to maintain!
  Tim G
  Omaha, NE

• McAllan - he is a Scotch drinker - on the rocks

Your thoughts?

Republican Shenanigans

• Cheney Mishap Takes Focus Off CIA Leak AP

• Thousands Rally to Save Voucher Plan The Ledger, FL

• Once a Clinton prosecutor, Hutchinson now avoids talking about ... WXXA, NY 

• Hutchinson won't shun Rove during Arkansas visit Arkansas News, AR

• Patriot Act Moves Ahead Despite Opposition AP

• Republicans Criticize Bush Mideast Policy AP 

• House GOP Won't Revisit Flawed Budget Bill AP

Cheney the Shooter Comments

• After receiving 5 deferments to avoid serving in the military, its quite apparent that Dick Cheney only likes to shoot at things that don't shoot back.
  Anthony
  Indiana

• Cheney Shoots Man in Head ( just as it is revealed that he ordered a CIA operative to be exposed who happened to be working on Iran's nuclear capabilities).
  http://notsofunnypages.com/cheneyshootsmaninhead.htm
  a cartoon commentary by Holland at not so funny pages...

• Your lead story Wednesday, tells about Katherine Armstrong lobbying.
  A Google investigation came up with Anne Armstrong, Katherine's mother was on the Board of Directors of Halliburton.
  Bill C
  Tampa, FL
   

I am so glad my viewers are smarter than me!

"Kind of a sad study out today that single women over the age of 35 are more likely to be shot by the vice president than to find a husband." --Jimmy Kimmel

Rock-The-Voter News

• GOP Asks Cities to Bid for '08 Convention AP

• Tenn. Rep. Won't Seek Seek Re-Election AP

E-mail from cdchapman@sbcglobal.net

What do you think now of Hussein's confessions of developing weapons of mass destruction and desires to see terrorism on American soil?

Just perused your web site of misinformation. How often does the Communist Party collect dues these days?

Best
Derek

I never doubted Hussein had or wanted more WMDs. Who doesn't in the Middle East?

Reagan/Bush gave Hussein WMDs in the 1980's to fight Iran then turned around and gave Iran weapons to fight Iraq for their little illegal Iran-Contra affair. They backstabbed both Iraq and Iran. And now we are paying the consequences.  Do you understand those facts?

Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda are who attacked us on 911, not Saddam.

How childish to call me a communist.  Is that your best shot?

"Remember when the most embarrassing thing to happen to a vice-president was misspelling the word potato?" --Jimmy Kimmel

Look Before You Shoot

Hours after laughing about Vice President Dick Cheney's hunting mishap, Josh Kayser was himself shot by a friend during a hunting expedition.
 

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Biz/Tech News

• Oil Prices Rise Above $58 Per Barrel Jackson News-Tribune, WY

• More airlines under scrutiny for price fixing Miami Herald

• Senior Chinese officials slam Communist Party censorship Christian Science Monitor

• Big Internet companies grilled on China stance Seattle Times

• Microsoft Offers Small Businesses Free Web Sites and More PC World
   

Right Message Wrong Venue

President Bush talked about good health, and his plan to help America pay for it, for an hour on Wednesday at the home office of the nation's third-largest purveyor of hamburgers and french fries.

"The administration has been getting a lot of criticism for how they handled the situation. First, they didn't tell the media for almost a full day after it happed. The White House press corps was furious. They expect to be told when the vice president shoots a 78-year-old man in the face." --Jimmy Kimmel

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Pentagon Concerned Old Abu Ghraib Photos Could Spark Violence Voice of America

• Iraqi Official: Torture Should Be Punished AP

Taking The Heat

Harry Truman: "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."
Karl Rove: "If you can't take the heat, create a diversion."
-- "Dick, we need a volunteer to get drunk, go to Texas and shoot somebody."

Sent in by Lars.  Thanks Lars.

Go-F***-Yourself News

• Bush 'Satisfied' With Cheney Explanation Editor & Publisher

US Mail: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312

Odd News

• Iranians turn on Danish pastries in cartoon row Reuters

• Foreigners live in fear of Russian skinheads Reuters

• Madonna treated for hernia: spokeswoman Reuters

• Forgive me, Father, for I have guns... Reuters

• Sparks Shower Judge, Clerk at Arson Trial AP

• Eight People Duped in Fake $1M Bill Scam AP

The Blue Rigi: Lake of Lucerne by JMW Turner is seen in an undated image released by Christie's.  The painting is expected to sell for over £2 million when it is auctioned in June 2006.

Peace.