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Thursday edition Y February 14, 2008
Don't you think Harriet Miers would look lovely in an orange jumpsuit?
"Boy, talk about a black eye for baseball. You
know what's happening today? Congressional investigations into Roger Clemens and
the steroid use begin tomorrow. And it's interesting, you know? We didn't get
bin Laden but by God, we're nailing this guy." --David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"The government is going to be handing out rebate checks. We're like a bad car dealership now in this country, handing out the rebate checks. They're trying to restore confidence in the U.S. economy. The bad news - half the people want the money in euros, the other half want it in pesos." --Jay Leno
Meanwhile, Back In Cuba...
CUBA has demanded the US return Guantanamo Bay to the island nation and denounced the "war on terror" prison, where six detainees could face the death penalty. The United States, which has occupied Guantanamo for more than 100 years, signed in 1934 a lease agreement with the Cuban government that could not be altered without agreement by both countries.
Disturbing News
"Scientists for the United States Army have developed a sandwich that can remain edible for three years. Well, if that doesn't get guys to re-up, nothing will. Let me tell you, that shows you how dedicated our armed forces are. I mean, the other side offers their guys, what, 72 virgins? We get a 3-year-old sandwich." --Jay Leno
W Kisses AND Holds Hands With Their King
A leading human rights group appealed to Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah on Thursday to stop the execution of a woman accused of witchcraft and performing supernatural acts.
Republican Shenanigans News
Condi Defends 56 False Statements! 56!
U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice vehemently defended her integrity on Wednesday when asked about an independent report that found she made 56 false statements on the threat posed by Saddam Hussein's Iraq.
U.S. Navy jets intercepted Russian bombers that buzzed the carrier USS Nimitz Sunday. They're tired of hearing U.S. officials say al-Qaeda is the number-one threat to America. The Russians might have lost the Cold War but they still have their pride. - Argus Hamilton
The Masochistic Senator
The Senate Ethics Committee has sent Sen. Larry
Craig a letter scolding him for last summer's Minneapolis airport sexcapade.
"Very awkward moment in the Hillary Clinton campaign today. I guess Hillary told her staff to call Democrats with money, and they called Barack Obama." --Jay Leno
Rock-The-Voter News
Biz/Tech News Rupert Murdoch to Rescue Yahoo!?
Yahoo Inc.
hopes media conglomerate News Corp. can rescue it from a Microsoft Corp.
takeover —
or at least prove the slumping Internet pioneer is worth more money than its
unsolicited suitor wants to pay.
Here's how you give George W. Bush a third term: vote McCain. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Here's the Dream Lineup: Obama: President, Hillary: Vice President, Biden: Secretary of State, Edwards: Attorney General, Bill: Press Secretary - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Please support All Hat No Cattle or if you can't, at least e-mail me a Valentine's Day greeting!
Costa Rica Mail -
$.90 US Postage OR Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford Alabama 36312
or purchase originally designed T-Shirts, Mugs and More
Odd News ReutersGhost-like white stag spotted Reuters
A dog's
life : A Shih Tzu waits backstage during the final day of the 132nd Westminster
Kennel Club Annual Dog Show at Madison Square Garden in New York. My Shih Tzu,
Pierce, would not allow me to put rubber bands on his face, no way, no how.
Pierce is about 95% recovered from his surgery!
Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone! Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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