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Tuesday edition - February 12, 2007
I wonder what Bush and Cheney will do after January 2009?
"Fashion Week this week. Hillary Clinton was wearing her strapless pantsuit." --David Letterman
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!
U.S. fighter planes
intercepted two Russian bombers, including one that buzzed an American aircraft
carrier in the western Pacific during the weekend, The Associated Press has
learned.
"Mitt Romney threw in the monogrammed towel. That leaves McCain and Huckabee. The old guy and the preacher. Which brings up the philosophical question: Which one is closer to God?" --Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"Rudy Giuliani is announcing his own line of clothing. It comes apart at the seams." --David Letterman
Hillary and Obama Agree
Democratic White House rivals Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton Monday rejected the notion of pausing US troop drawdowns in Iraq, floated earlier in Baghdad by Defense Secretary Robert Gates.
Republican Shenanigans News
"It
looks like John McCain has gotten the nod. Of course, McCain getting a
nomination, this is Rush Limbaugh's worst nightmare since the pharmacist said,
"We're out of OxyContin." --Jay Leno Al Franken
In the 1980s, Al Franken was cracking jokes on "Saturday Night Live." Mike Ciresi, his chief rival for the Democratic nomination for the Senate this year, was serving as general counsel to the government of India in a landmark lawsuit over a catastrophic industrial accident...Despite his impressive resume, Ciresi finds himself trailing Franken in the Democratic contest. The comedian-turned-candidate has raised millions more, lined up the most important labor endorsements and dominated news coverage.
The Space Shuttle Atlantis docked with the International Space Station Friday and delivered the Columbus science lab. It's an important project. If Mike Huckabee becomes president, outer space will be the only place it's safe for scientists to work. - Argus Hamilton
Rock-The-Voter News
Will Bush Cough Up The Missing E-mails?
A federal judge agreed Monday to allow a private group to delve into the operations of an office at the White House as part of a controversy over whether large amounts of e-mail have disappeared.
"President Bush says during his last year in office, he will visit more
countries than in any other year of his presidency. He says he will accomplish
all of this in one weekend by going to EPCOT Center." --Conan O'Brien
Biz/Tech News
"Democrats are split pretty evenly between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I say, when in doubt let your favorite celebrity decide for you. I usually vote for whomever Cher is voting for." --Jimmy Kimmel
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"Last week, prison guards had to use tear gas to
break up prison riots in New Jersey. When the tear gas didn't work, the guards
sprayed the prisoners with New Jersey air." --Conan O'Brien
Go-F**k-Yourself News
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Odd News
Patricia
Hearst, yes, THAT Patricia Hearst, poses for a picture with her French bulldog,
Diva, at the 132nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden in
New York, Monday, Feb. 11, 2008. Diva was named Best of Opposite Sex.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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