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Monday edition - February 11, 2007
Peace is for Pussies! McCain/Rumsfeld '08 - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
The Latest From The Department of Obfuscation
The Army is accustomed to
protecting classified information. But when it comes to the planning for the
Iraq war, even an unclassified assessment can acquire the status of a state
secret...a detailed study of the planning for postwar Iraq prepared for the Army
by the RAND Corporation, a federally financed center that conducts research for
the military...The study chided President Bush — and by implication Secretary of
State Condoleezza Rice, who served as national security adviser when the war was
planned — as having failed to resolve differences among rival agencies.
“Throughout the planning process, tensions between the Defense Department and
the State Department were never mediated by the president or his staff,” it
said.
Roger Clemens' trainer, Brian McNamee, gave DNA evidence to the FBI that he says proves he shot Roger Clemens with steroids. After ten years, there's one thing we know about DNA evidence. It won't put him in prison but it might get him impeached. - Argus Hamilton
Disturbing News
Another Criminal Friend of the Bushes/Saudi Arabia
A federal judge has temporarily blocked Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the former Saudi ambassador to the United States, from removing real estate sales proceeds from the United States pending resolution of a class-action lawsuit.
Yet Another Criminal Friend of the Bushes/Panama
A federal judge ruled yesterday that former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega cannot be extradited to face French money-laundering charges until his appeals in U.S. courts are exhausted. Noriega deserves a chance to fully air his arguments that any French extradition is prohibited by the Geneva Conventions protections for prisoners of war and that Noriega instead should be repatriated to Panama, U.S. District Judge Paul Huck said.
"The GOP likes to call itself the "Big Tent Party," which would make Mike Huckabee the revivalist tent. Ron Paul would be the circus tent. And of course, John McCain is the oxygen tent." --Jay Leno
Republican Shenanigans News
What a loveable ol' hunka' hawk "100-Years-of-War" McCain is. Doncha' just wanna give him a headful a' noogies? - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Rock-The-Voter News
Mitt Romney dropped out of the GOP race for president Thursday after spending forty million dollars of his own money on a failed campaign. It wasn't his fault. The country is just not ready yet for a white guy to be president of the United States. - Argus Hamilton
Biz/Tech News
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Email: Subject: If McCain gets elected...
... at least I will be able to recycle the "No-W"
magnet on my car. Thanks for the laugh...maybe I should design a "No McC" magnet!
Go-F**k-Yourself News
The Food and Drug Administration issued a warning to plastic surgery patients Friday that a chemical in Botox may cause difficulty swallowing. This is only going to improve sales in Los Angeles. Not only do you look younger, you lose weight.- Argus Hamilton
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Odd News
In this
photo a Chinese woman is wearing a mask to protect herself against SARS,
walks past a 'Don't Spit' campaign poster in Shanghai May 16, 2003. Less
spitting, better queuing and cleaner streets show Beijing has become more
'civilized,' but the city still has to fine-tune its etiquette to attain Olympic
standards, Xinhua news agency said Friday, citing a new study.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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