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Tuesday edition - December 30, 2008
As Jan. 20 approaches, I'm reminded of President Ford's speech on Aug. 9, 1974: "Our long national nightmare is over."
After leaving office, George Bush reportedly plans to go out on a speaking tour. That’s right. Speaking tour. You can’t make stuff up like this.- Laugh Lines
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush
Shoe Thrower Update
Iraq's Central Criminal Court decided on Tuesday to postpone the trial of an Iraqi journalist who won global fame for throwing his shoes at US President George W. Bush, a court spokesman said.
Disturbing News
Don Imus Update
Don Imus completed a triumphant first year as morning host at WABC - where he scored higher ratings than he had when he was fired by WFAN in 2007.
BREAKING NEWS: Roland Burris to be named to replace Obama in Senate
Ever notice how many wealthy Republicans go into non-political public service work? Me neither.- Zing!
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Republican-Shenanigans News
Duh
Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.
Zbigniew Brzezinski Calls Joe Scarborough "Stunningly Superficial" All Hat No Cattle
just calls Joe "Stunningly Stupid"
His lieutenant governor says Rod Blagojevich will be impeached and convicted by Feb. 12. Just in time for Lincoln’s 200th birthday. Illinois will be so proud. – Will Durst
2008's Funniest Political Moments Rock-The-Voter News Unwed Teen Without High School Diploma Gives Birth - Offered $300,000 for Baby Pictures
When Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin
confirmed that her teenage daughter, Bristol, and boyfriend Levi Johnston were
expecting a baby, the celebrity weeklies knew that the first photos of the
Palin-Johnston baby would incite a bidding war.
Baby Tripp Easton Mitchell
Johnston, born Dec. 28, proved those editors right.
Poor Sarah Palin, not only did she and John McCain lose out in November, now Barack Obama has also won the swimsuit competition. - Laugh Lines
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Biz-Tech News
Barack
Obama was voted the Most Admired Man in America Friday and Hillary Clinton was
named Most Admired Woman, however Sarah Palin finished right behind them. It
sums up the nation's current mood. If hope and forgiveness doesn't work, get the
gun. - Argus Hamilton
Bush-Prison-Torture News
President Bush interceded when India and Pakistan threatened war Saturday. He's only too glad to help. Despite Iraq, the financial crisis, the real estate crash, the oil slide and the fall of the U.S. auto industry, he's not about to rest on his laurels.- Argus Hamilton
Peace in the Middle East is as likely as Bush being voted best President in U.S. history. - Grant Gerver
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Picture Editor Definitely Needed
A new
website for campaign finance information in Wisconsin includes the State Capitol
in Madison in front of a striking skyline -- of Minneapolis....Ethics division
director Jonathan Becker joked the skyline was a "fanciful picture of what
Madison may look like someday."
A Beverly Hills surgeon used body fat taken from his patients with liposuction to fuel his two S.U.V.’s. Talk about having junk in the trunk. - Laugh Lines
THE LAST FUNDRAISER OF 2008! Only 2 days left to hit Bush with all those shoes! Please help.
Please support All Hat No Cattle. All Hat No Cattle has been servicing your humor needs since 2000 Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Odd News
In this July
5, 2008 photo, an Army cadet looks down at his ripped uniform pants as he
marches in a military parade commemorating Venezuela's Independence Day in Ft.
Tiuna in Caracas.
Peace.
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