An inauguration bash during war time sure does bring honor and dignity back to the White House. "The Army gives free breast implants to our female soldiers. We don't have enough armor for our troops, but we can give them breast implants. I say we make the implants out of kevlar so then they can be out on the front lines" -- Jay Leno
Graphic By Ken The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"People see the figure of 1,200 dead. Much more rarely do they see the number of seriously wounded. And almost never do they hear anything at all about the psychiatric casualties." -- DR. EVAN KANTER, a psychiatrist at a veterans' hospital in Seattle.
"'His Hair is No Longer Gray.' ... Good one, huh?" -- President Bush to People magazine, on what he hopes the headline will be a year from now Disturbing News
"The trade deficit
swelled to an all time high of $55.5 billion. Do you know what our number one
export is now? National Guard troops."
Republican Shenanigans
"What you have today is business on one side, and you've got the trial lawyers on the other side. ... You've got deep pockets colliding with shallow principles." -- Robert Nardelli, the chief executive at Home Depot, said to laughter from the audience and President Bush Rock-The-Voter News
"The Bernard Kerik scandal is getting worse and worse. Since Kerik withdrew from his Homeland Security Director nomination, it has been revealed that he has had a secret marriage, two mistresses and worked for a Mafia-related company. As a result Kerik has been given a role on 'Desperate House Wives.' " -- Conan O'Brien
Corruption, lying, torture, spin and bullsh*t are the orders of the day. Day after day. Headline after headline. News anchor after news anchor. Yet “The American People” are content to stand by helplessly without a murmur of protest as their country becomes as despised worldwide as any since 1939-45. Good News
“To make these awards in the face of failure -- the mounting American death toll, the awful suffering of the Iraqis, the looming possibility of civil war, the nose-thumbing of the still-at-large Osama bin Laden and the madness of making war for a nonexistent reason -- has the creepy feel of the old communist states, where incompetents wore medals and harsh facts were denied.” – Richard Cohen, Washington Post Columnist Biz-Tech News
On this day, in 1773, the Boston Tea Party took place as American colonists boarded a British ship and dumped more than 300 chests of tea overboard to protest tea taxes.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"This guy in office is an uneducated, real lying schmuck . . . and we still couldn't beat him with a bore like Kerry." – Chevy Chase
Graphic By Patricia Gerber -- San Francisco Go-F***-Yourself News
The 23rd Sigh
“They say young single men in Japan are now buying a new kind of pillow that comes in the shape of a woman's legs because it reminds them of lying in their mother's lap when they were younger. I believe the name of this product is 'You're Creeping Me Out.' " – Jay Leno Odd News
Rusty Keaulana of Hawaii rides a large wave in the first heat of the Eddie Aikau Invitational on Waimea Bay in Hawaii on Dec. 15, 2004. ' The Eddie' is a one-day event held when waves are 30 feet or higher. (Photo/Ronen Zilberman) Peace.
|
