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Tuesday edition - November 6, 2007
It's 2007 and we're debating whether waterboarding is torture, the AG nominee won't acknowledge that waterboarding is torture and we're sending billions to a nuclear armed country who just suspended it's constitution. No wonder the world hates us.
"Anybody notice that for daylight saving, the change is later this year? It was supposed to be last week. According to the New York Times, Congress made this decision in part from pressure from the candy lobby, who wanted an extra hour for trick or treating. Isn't that unbelievable? I mean, the research lobby can't get stem cell research through. The consumer lobby, we can't get lead out of toys. But by God, when it comes to an extra hour of eating sugar, the candy lobby has the power." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"People who
are absolutely upset are the folks in the State Department. They want to send
them to Iraq. There's a lot of empty positions that need to be filled over
there. But the people at the State Department are revolting about this because
they say it's dangerous over there. I haven't heard that. ... President Bush is
furious. He said, 'If you didn't want to go to a war zone, you shouldn't have
joined the State Department. You should have joined the Texas Air National
Guard.'" --Bill Maher
Disturbing News
"Karen
Hughes, a former adviser to President Bush, is leaving the State Department
after working the last two years trying to improve the rest of the world's
opinion of America. Congratulations on a job well done. Time to bring out that
'Mission Accomplished' sign again." --Jay Leno The New U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican
President Bush
plans to nominate Harvard University law professor Mary Ann Glendon to be his
new U.S. ambassador to the Vatican.
Republican Shenanigans
CIA Update
Nearly half the CIA's staff was hired after 9/11, and in a startling
statistic, the agency has boosted its corps of officers that can speak other
languages by 50 percent since 2003.
"Pat Philbin, the man who staged a fake FEMA news conference on the California wildfires last week, has lost his promotion because of the event. Which begs the question, 'What does it take to actually get fired from FEMA?'" --Amy Poehler
Rock-The-Voter News
“Just
because you come from Brazil doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be good at
the Samba. In the same way, just because you come from Texas doesn’t mean to say
you’re going to be a good President.” - Dancing with the Stars Host Len
Goodman
Biz-Tech News
Bush admits he'd love to don a military uniform like Musharraf, but realizes it might send the wrong message. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Rewarding Another Democrat Basher
On his daily radio talk
show, Glenn Beck portrays himself as an average guy, a recovering alcoholic and
a comedian who regularly injects humor into his conservative politics. Bush-Prison-Torture News
Dog the Bounty Hunter lost his television show Wednesday after he was secretly tape-recorded using racist language. His son taped him and sold it to the National Enquirer. It's heartwarming to see a kid turn somebody in for money just like his dad. - Argus Hamilton
Go-F***-Yourself News
"Today, President Bush said, 'The Iraqis are taking back Iraq.' Then Dick Cheney said, 'But not the oil, right?'" --Jay Leno
Last Fundraiser of 2007! Help celebrate my seven year anniversary!
Donations to date
Please kick a couple of bucks to All Hat No Cattle
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Odd News
This photo released by the Guinness World Records shows Jackie Bibby in a see-through bathtub with 87 rattlesnakes, in Dublin, Texas, Monday, Nov. 5, 2007. Bibby spent about 45 minutes in the tub shattering his own record by 12 snakes. Photo/Guinness World Records/Carla Metzler
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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